You Say This, I See This


English: Front side of the left knee.

As you all know Al fell on Friday and he is also on new medications. I don’t see any difference in his PD, but I have not seen the tears as bad, nor have I heard him speaking of dying as much.

What I am noticing is that his sugars are higher than they ever were, which still aren’t high to me, considering I am also a diabetic and would love to have my sugars at his numbers. Also, his appetite has plummeted, but also has his heart rate and blood pressures.

Why does there have to be so many side effects to medications? Can’t they make one that just deals with the problem, instead of getting other parts involved? His knees are giving out. I don’t know what this is about and I asked the head of the therapy this morning when she was here, why.

She believes it is just a part of Parkinson’s. Just. what a word, one syllable, a small word, but so powerful. Just a disease, just a part of life, just a part of his un-stableness, just. Let’s toss it to the river, and find another word that is more compassionate.

Today, we go to the doctor for a check up of the new medications he was put on last week. We are also going to find out the results of the lab works done last Monday. I am supposed to ask for a referral to a urologist also, since the hospital said they could not put a catheter, regular, nor a special one for prostate problems, so we need to see a specialist to see how much this gland is enlarging. He is not happy about this visit, as it is too far away from lunch time, and too far from supper, and of course, the major part, it interferes with his nap, but I could not help it, there was no other time slots for the day the doctor wanted him to return.

The therapist said that Al has strong legs. What does she mean strong legs? Like mine or yours? Then why does he fall, why are his knees beginning to buckle away quickly, and all of a sudden he is down.

Yes, this is a new thing, about a week ago, maybe something to do with the new medications? He will be walking along and all of a sudden his knees give out, and down he goes. He has not fallen completely to the ground. He has been lucky so far and used his walker to catch himself, but this is happening, so I will be asking the doctor if his medications could be causing this, so how are his knees still strong. Why does he walk so unstable, and topple over so easy, if his legs are so strong.

I did something Sunday that you may think is silly, but it  helped me so much, that I even cleaned some of my too high shelves off, plus I cleaned both bathrooms. I have had trouble sleeping the past few days. I am so dead tired, but when I lie down to go to sleep, my mind is whirling, so yesterday, I got out my Christmas CD’s and played a couple of them. They lifted me up, and I was able to deal with everything pretty well that day and even slept better last night.

I guess it is not that far off from Christmas. I have seen Christmas commercials on the television, and when I was allowed to escape Saturday, I saw decorations in the stores. These stores are just screaming, SPEND, SPEND, SPEND! What about the  people who can not spend, do you think the stores care, that they have made some sad and maybe sent them into a whirl of depression, because our brains are being taught that Christmas is spending, instead of who’s birthday it is?

Well enough for now, I have blabbed past my time. I will let you know what we find out from the doctors today, later on. Have a nice day!

33 thoughts on “You Say This, I See This

  1. I got exhausted reading this because my empathy kicked in for you my friend. If I can get exhausted just reading about what you are going through, it is unimaginably unbearable what you you are going through but you are still upbeat – bravo Terry – you deserve a medal.

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    • oh thank you Julie. I appreciate it firstly, that you take the time to read my blogs. you are a busy lady and have so much that you deal with daily. I hope that today brings news that is good or at least bearable.

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  2. I am so sorry sweety. All I know is that when my husband was in last stages of his cancer these kind of things happen. I do not mean to scare you or frighten you. But it could be more than what they are saying. If he is near the end these are signs. And he needs to be made comfortable. Meaning bed and or recliner. Somewhere he does not get up. I know this is hard and I wish those people would be honest with you. Please call the number I gave you. I hope they can help. I hope truly hope that it is side effects, but good chance if they said it was final stages that the time is near. I am praying for you both and please be strong. Nothing wrong with listening to Christmas music at all i love that music!

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    • You understand so well, and why is it professionals do try to hide the real truth from me? I would rather know, than to wonder. It is hard to tell if it is the medications or if it is the illness, but I still need to know. YOu understand so well what is going on in this house, and I appreciate it. You share because you have been there. love ya Tracy!!

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  3. Christmas is all about spending these days. We try not to get caught up, and we try to keep the meaning of the day, but it is difficult with all the hype and marketing of the day. Wish I could give you a helping hand as a gift, but it is a bit far away… 🙂

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  4. Terry, Its great when you find different ways to be able to enjoy a bit of your day. With all the constant stress that is on you, any little break certainly helps. And it is like you say… I’ve seen several commercials on TV as well as in the stors that they are already beginning to prepare for the holidays….. unbelievable!.
    Will be praying fo ryou and Al as you go to the doctors… praying ofr wisdom and grace for Al, you and the doctor. May He bless you.

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    • thank you so much Rob. And how about the Friday after Thanksgiving? the mad rushes, people shoving and sometimes injuring bad. here someone pulled a gun out on someone because they took the last item, one person got trampled to death. enough is enough! this is not what Christmas is all about!

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  5. I think the reason the medical professionals don’t give the full story is that, often, they don’t know themselves and just (pun intended) don’t want to admit it. I pray that you will get some straight answers at the doctor’s today.

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  6. I hear ya on the spending. I won’t be one of the people spending too much! So sorry to hear about Al’s fall and the latest. I know it must be hard. There isn’t a prayer God doesn’t hear, though. Keep talking to Him. Sending a 🙂 your way.

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  7. I agree with successbemine, they probably don’t really know themselves. I’ll be thinking of you both.

    If Christmas music makes you happy, play Christmas music! I love it myself.

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  8. In my experience, the falling happens in the last stages, the limbs are strong, but the brain that is sending the signals to the legs is not. Everyone is different which is why Doctor’s don’t have the answers. Momma will start out fine taking 3 steps and then her legs start twitching, and we have to catch her. This is why her main mode of transport is a wheelchair. Wish they would be straight with you, but they also might not have the answers.

    Christmas, Ah Terry, I love Christmas, however I hate the commercialism of it. There is a reason for the season, and a bunch of people have forgotten that.
    {{H U G S}} my friend!

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    • I like everything you said, but hardly saw the words, i was so darn excited to see a comment from you. I will say this before i blog about the doctor today, Al used his cane today at the doctor and pharmacy, and was so unsteady and unbalanced we can never do this again. he has to have the four wheel walker. yes, the legs are strong, she says, but he is not strong in mind as you say. i know a lot more now than i did earlier today. thanks and can’t wait to have a longer talk with you

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  9. Terry, sometimes medicine can collide and create massive problems – happen to a couple of my friends and it’s the same doctor that has prescribed the medicine. One of my friends husband was in constant pain and collapsed in the end .. on the hospital they notice that he had been two medicines from his doctor that create massive problems for the body if given at the same time. So … check things up – question doctors all the time and look at internet to check up his medicine. It could have cost his life in the end. Doctors they are so backed up by the pharmacy industry … trips all over the world .. free bees … so they just write out pills at time.

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    • you are absolutely right. i am sure that since you visit doctors often like we do, you see the pharmacutical represenatives coming and going quite a bit. i am sure there is a big kick back. i will keep my eyes open as good as i can. thank you Viveka

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    • i am so glad you said this, for I am not playing Christmas music to get myself in the mood for spending, it is comforting to me. I am not into the kiddie Christmas songs anymore. I love the orchestras that give out soothing sounds……………..thank you

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  10. One of my favorite parts of Christmas are the carols…When the radio starts their non-stop session of Christmas songs we listen all of the time…
    and when that day after Christmas when they stop…it is quite sad…Enjoy whatever makes you happy…from cleaninng…to singing at the top of your voice…
    So sorry to hear of Al’s knees giving out on him…and the answers are so flim flam…like it’s just another day…Well, it’s not just another day to you or Al…
    I know the doctors and nurses deal with so much and hear the same stories every day…but, it’s their job to try and reassure you, give suggestions…
    or let you know what you should expect…best to you Terry…mkg

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    • I feel the same way, and have already played one Christmas CD. I listen to the beautiful music through out the season on the television and on the car radio. The day after it is so quiet, and I feel a yearning for the music to return. if only we could all hold tightly to the feelings and the mood of the loving holiday, the entire year long, life would be a better place to live

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