Picture It & Write, Prompt, Oct. 28th, 2012


There was a time when courting meant something. You met a guy, and after you talked a few times, you were asked out on a date. He came to your house, and met your parents, and they looked him over with their eagle eye, and asked a hundred questions, and then gave their approval for you to go out with him, letting him know, that in no uncertain terms, he had to have you home by ten.

You and he dated for quite a while, and he was invited to your home for holidays and get togethers. The entire family got to know him. After about a year, he stopped by your house and had that discussion with your parents, asking for your hand in marriage.

The affirmation that it was alright to advance, he picked out a nice restaurant, and after a fine meal had been eaten, you two left, and he took you home, but before he got out of the car to walk you to the door, he popped the question, you said yes, and you both kissed, then when inside and shared the exciting news with your parents, who already knew this was coming.

Speed up to today, and dating is totally different.  It is common to  hang out, runs in groups together. Meeting at bars, or dances, going to parties. You see someone who you think is real bad, and so you walk up to him, and let him know you are interested in your own special way.

If you are lucky, he is available, or you can also be unlucky and run face to face with his woman. You start hanging out, meeting up at some place you both enjoy going. Maybe he is thinking what a hottie you are and on his mind he is wanting to score, and if you feel the same way, you hook up sexually to see if you are both compatible to continue the dating game.

In the heat of the moment, no one uses any protection, and a life is formed, but no one wants it. The two of you split up, him saying he isn’t ready for any kid, and neither of you have any real means of taking care of or supporting a kid, so you abort it, or have it and end up living off of the system.

Or you two hang out together until a hot new face comes along, and then you switch partners, maybe passing along some crazy disease to your next mate. There is really no word called dating now, it is a me for me world, and the words, respect, dating, meeting the parents are not found in the new dictionaries. By the time you find the one you want to hook up with, and shack up with, one of you may have slept with numerous others, so the words, saving yourself for marriage, has been left by the wayside to shrivel up in the dry heat.

Or you can be brought up in a modern-day, learning that you count. You have been taught that it is alright to be different. You don’t have to be a size 3, in order to fit in. You have been instilled with the word confidence, and you walk proudly with your head held high, realizing that you can become anyone you so desire, with hard work.

You date, but you place yourself first, and you hang out with many guys and gals, flirting, having fun, and if you decide to become intimate, you take control and make sure that you have the correct protection with you, because although you are in the height of passion, you don’t want this messing up your plans for your future.

You work, he works, you both pay your own way when together. You both are working hard at developing long time careers. If you two find out that you want to be together, you make plans to move into an apartment together,and you set the rules up front, about who is going to pay what.

Right before moving in together, you both tell your parents that you are moving out, and you introduce the love of your life to them. While living together, you plan together, a wedding, and both of you start paying for the big day coming. The two of you start meeting other family members, and soon everyone knows the two of you are an item, and that you are getting married next year.

Times have really changed, and the way we do things has changed , but the goals are always the same. Grow up, find a mate, get married and have a family. Work hard and save money, buy a house and a new car, grow old together.

http://ermiliablog.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/picture-it-write-5/

 

 

18 thoughts on “Picture It & Write, Prompt, Oct. 28th, 2012

  1. Excellent written … sad to read that you are having a bad turn now and not feeling that great. You need a proper break from your everyday. You’re tired and worn out
    I don’t think much has changed when it’s about love really – more than we give up too easy today. And that we women we don’t have to be supported to survive anymore.

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    • i don’t think what we need and want has changed. i think how we go about obtaining it has. people are much easier led to the bedroom today than i am. i still believe in feelings and love not lust

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  2. For some reason, I thought back to the way things were back in the day… 🙂
    http://wisiwug.blogspot.com/2012/05/bcci-considering-alternatives-to-player.html

    I think what I’ve learned studying our culture, is that from the slave owners who raped their slaves, to the prostitution and booze era before the Prohibition, to the punk gangs that arose in the 40s and 50s, to what you’ve written here, there have always been social deviations that meet the scrutiny of the public eye. I really don’t see them as the norm, but we’ve always glamorized and romanticized them and each generation is remembered for theirs.

    For example, if I recall your age correctly, you were born in the late 60s or early 70s, a generation I associate with communes, group sex, and “flower” children who had no idea who their fathers were. Today’s generation will be remembered as much for its baby daddies as its obsession with vampires, but I think the reason the goals stay the same is because deep inside, we remain the same. Most of my younger friends still really care for and cling to the same values of true love, spirituality and integrity that you cling to.

    Anyway, you just got me thinking about stuff. Good job with your topic, Terry!

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    • I agree Anne, deep inside we all have the same goal, to want to be loved and to love. Thank u so much for the wonderful comment you have given to me, and by the way, I was born in the early 50’s, so I still have the family idea stemmed from the Leave it to Beaver show. lol. great chatting with you again!!

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      • the good old days, they were the best weren’t they!!!!!!! life has really changed in so many ways………i always love to hear parents and grandparents talk about the past. thank u for commenting Joe!!

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  3. I really liked the comparison of the changing times, but I feel like it’s presumptuous to assume the goals are and have always been “grow up, find a mate, get married and have a family. Work hard and save money, buy a house and a new car, grow old together.” What about people who never get married, or couples who cannot conceive? It implies that their life goals can never be met. Some people want to fly the world and never settle down or become missionaries and can never own a home.

    -Eliabeth

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    • as I wrote it I was talking about generalization. of course there are many circumstances in the world, but they are small in comparison to a young girl’s dreams of being a mommy. thanks for your comment

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