Al and Polly


English: Coca-Cola 375 mL cans - 24 pack

English: Coca-Cola 375 mL cans – 24 pack (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have never taken so many steps as I have the past three days since I moved back to Indiana. Maybe I will drop a pound! Today was a busy day, which I was very thankful for, but last night was taking me back to when my kids were infants, and you had to get up with them every two hours, and this is what I did.

I had been so exhausted from crying and tired from everything, that I took Polly outside at 10pm and then I went to bed, with her in her crate. It was wonderful, me, the television, my fan, and Polly was asleep. At midnight I had a terrible dream. I don’t know who it was or what it was, but I remember it was a deep, clear voice, and it said one thing. Al has just died. Yep, that was it, and I don’t even know if I can call that a dream, but that is all I remember and I jumped up out of bed and sat upright, looking around and no one was here. Then Polly started whimpering, feeding time and potty time, but this time she did not want to go back to sleep, but I did. I put her back in her crate, letting her know dark hours meant no play, but she didn’t get it, so she whined, I turned up the television, she whined louder, and I buried my head in the covers, but nothing worked.

I got back up and took her out and her little curly tail was just a going to town. She wanted to play! I did sit with her for a while and pet her and she loved that, so after she calmed down, I put her back to her bed, and she did not want that so the whimpering started again.

I got back up, geesh, I felt like a yo-yo. I got her back out and put her in bed with me and she crawled up to my shoulder, and buried herself in my body heat and went back to sleep and slept until five this morning.

Today was a new day. I fed her and took her potty. She is having troubles with drinking water, so I have to wet my finger from her bowl, and then she will drink. I really do believe I am a natural caregiver including animals now. LOL

I am still having trouble eating. I have found myself skipping meals or eating one tiny thing. I tried eating breakfast, but it did not want to stay down, so I gave that up. I told Polly that I had to go run some errands, and even though I knew she didn’t know, I put her back in her crate, and prayed she whimpered softly while I was gone. While out, I ran to the car lot to pick up a piece that had broken on my windshield wiper, where the spray comes out and washes your window? Yes, a tiny plastic piece that had cracked and cost $47.00. Expensive plastic if you ask me, then I went to Wal-Mart and took back the Ensure that I had bought for Al, because they would not let him have it,as it had to be a doctor’s order. It wasn’t even open, but it was a no go, and so I got Polly a flea collar because I found a few floating around on her and I do not want them multiplying in my  house, no way! I also bought her a wormer so I would have it in a few weeks when I can worm her, then I went to McDonald’s, and got a double cheeseburger and small diet, and I managed to keep that down.

Next, I went to see Al. I got to see his new room. It was much better,with a window view. I took him three bags of briefs and a bag of pads for his recliner a coca cola polar bear clock and a case of soda. I looked the room over and it definitely had more floor space but no more space than the other room as far as places to place knickknacks. Al was not in his room, he was down in the dining room and had just finished up with his lunch. As he saw me he waved and smiled, a nice thing in my opinion.

Right a way he started telling me about his bigger room, and then I began fitting the pieces together as to why the nurse said he looked like a kid in a candy store when she showed him his new room, because the conversation went from bigger room to bringing in more coca cola and cars from home, but what he wanted to bring in was an antique coca cola dispenser.

Now we had discussed things that he was going to take and leave here at home, before he went to the nursing home, and we both agreed that he would leave this big, vintage piece at home so it would not get broken or taken. He tells me today that now he wants it because his room is bigger and I explain that there is no more room for any place to put things and he got upset with me. The tremors got bigger than they were when I got there, and the tears came back, and the guilt trip placed on me was too familiar.

For the first time since he has been gone, I was glad that I could get up off of the bed and walk a way from it. I went to the nurse explaining why he was upset and she said that she would tell him his room was full enough, and then I said thanks and went back to Al’s room and he was telling me I didn’t care about him and I didn’t love me. I looked him in the eye, and said bud, I came here with cards, soda, another clock for you, and newspapers to read. I do not have to stay and listen to this talk, and so I am leaving, and I will see you on another day, and with that I got up and walked out of his room, out of the building and came home to Polly, who was anxiously awaiting for me to pet her and play with her, her tail just a wagging away and she was giving me kisses, and I said out loud to myself, I love you brother, but I want some happiness too, and I will see you tomorrow, and then I went back to playing with Polly.

61 thoughts on “Al and Polly

  1. Sorry to hear about Al, and yet I’m happy for him too. It will be much better for him to be where, at a moments notice, he can have all the care he needs. (Not that you haven’t been everything to him; that’s not in question.)
    I’m pleased for you too, Terry… It will be a welcome relief to have ‘time for yourself’… and your new cute little addition I saw in your previous post… 🙂

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      • Understandable, Terry… we are all human, and can only take so much before we lose all our reserves…
        Seems you will need a little while to build up strength; though I doubt you’ll get much of a chance with that dear little addition to contend with… (wink, wink)…

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      • it seems for the most part ok, as she is so little and innocent, she just wants to be loved, where with Al it was a battle most of the time. I love Al, I just need time to recoup

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  2. Great post … I’m glad that you can walk away from Al now and there will be others that deals with his mood swings – he are a spoiled child and he are not aware of what he are saying. Good, glad that you got Polly and you have somebody that are there for you. Maybe if you move the water away from the food bowl – she will look for it. Cat’s down want to drink where they eat neither. Great post and I think Al is happy over where he are now and he has people around him all the time. Fantastic! You just take the day as it comes now .. let others worry about Al – and your love for him will never change.

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      • You have had a long, long journey in getting to this point. It is okay to get help. You certainly did the right thing. . . for everyone. I know you love him. It is good to know your limits.

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      • yes, i think u r right. once i felt myself tensing up from more temper fits and confusion, i was tuning in on my body reacting to the atmosphere, and I did not want yet another dose

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  3. i hear freedome in this post! if you get a noise maker that sounds like heartbeat and put it on at night it might help Polly settle. keep the create small enough that all she can do is turn around and she will not have an accident all night. it’s a great way of training.

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      • I think Buckwheat meant a sound machine – Google “sound soother”. I got mine at Best Buy. The one I have has white noise as a selection, and water sounds, and a heartbeat sound, plus almost anything you can think of. I sure am glad Polly loves her mama! Glad your McDonald’s lunch stayed down, I’m sure you will get to increase your food soon. Love,
        Debb

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      • you are in the States right? if so, do you have shoppers home health care? you can often get them there, i wish i could send you mine, but you would need it quicker than that.

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      • pharmacies that sell medical supplies often have them if that helps. the heartbeat on it mimics the sound of the momma’s heartbeat for the pup and works a charm in calming puppies. 🙂 Also the other sounds on it might be calming for you, like rain, a waterfall and such.

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      • Terry, even if you put a clock in with her–one with a soft ticking sound–that should help. I remember, too, when a friend of mine got a new puppy he put a stuffed animal that I had made into the pup’s box and it also worked.

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  4. I am sorry he got so upset, but now you do not have to take it alone. That is one thing I was going to tell you about my pom and forgot. They love to cuddle and sleep with you. In return there is such a loyalty that I have never seen and or experienced until her. It is good to crate train them, but for some reason with poms they just like to be close. I know my shadow hides under our bed when she thinks she has done something wrong so don’t be surprised if Polly does too. Or finds a hiding place. I got my shadow a little stuffed pink toy from walmart which she loves she knows it as her baby. She took to stuffies from a very young age. A comfort thing I think since she was removed from her momma at a young age for reasons that could not be helped. So getting polly one may help her when she is gone from missing you so much. I also bought a little collar with a bell so I knew where she was at at all times as she was good at hiding even outside and it used to scare me alot not knowing where she was but with the bell all solved lol. They can be very possessive and they do not like toddlers. It is part of them older children are great but will be afraid and may snarl at toddlers as they can get hurt easily. Shadow has never hurt them but has snapped as to say please leave me alone. But newborns she loves she whines and has to get into the car seats to see the newborn babies as to mother them or something very cute it is. My little shadow is picky on her food too will not eat nothing but Cesar food soft in many flavors. Duck is her favorite. Like I said they all have their own personalities. Very different from any dog I have ever owned. I will not know what I will do when she leaves me. I have had her for 16 years. Enjoy your baby sweety! And AL is doing good it seems so far and it will all take time to adjust but it will get better and visits will get better. I still plan on sending a card, I just had to sink 2000 dollars into vehicle repairs. SO kinda tight until next months check. But a promise is a promise and I will send one. Maybe I will make it a birthday and Christmas card in one. Just to put a smile on his face. If you need any advice on your little one I am here. Also very very very important! When giving her a bath poms have two coats, you have to blow dry them or they can get what is called hot spots. There is a medicine to help with them but it is easier to not get to that point to begin with. They are scabs that will run all along the spine up to head and down to tail and they itch really bad and are really gross not to mention painful for them. Or take to a groomer but shadow never had been to one and when i did take her to one finally they gave her hot spots due to nervousness. But blow drying until dry after a bath is very crucial! Take care my friend!

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    • You have been very helpful, and I have felt a couple of scabs up on her head. I was not sure what that was. She is very thick in fur, I have seen that so will take care to blow dry her. Don’t worry about the card, things come up you know and I want to make sure your needs come first.!!! hugs

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  5. Oh how wonderful for you Terry. I have been thinking about you and Al. I was not sure if you had decided with Al. This post lets me know he is happy where he is, even though when you go to visit, he will try the old whining. The best thing you can do for both of you is to walk away like you did today. He will not understand, but will quickly forget that you left. Polly will be enough for you to handle this time around. Sending you hugs and to Al too, but he won’t know it…you, his sister will always be there for him. Keep you chin up and keep playing with Polly. Take care…know am here if you want to talk. Have a wonderful weekend! 😉

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    • thank u Dana for stopping by for a visit. I always love talking to you! Polly has been a life savor for sure. She keeps my mind busy and although I think of Al all the day long, Polly interrupts those thoughts

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  6. I don’t do the flea collars. I have asthma and if you read ingriedients scary and some even burn the dogs. I would give her a bath with flea shampoo. If you have carpetting get baking soda and put on carpets and leave on there for 24 hours–then vacumm. The fleas eat the soda and then they explose. Also put some on her bedding. After the flea bath you can go to the pet store and get some tree tea oil spray. They have natural products for fleas that won’t harm you or the doggie.

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    • i did not know about the baking soda on rugs. I will sprinkle some on the carpets as I fear a flea may be in there now. I could not get the flea shampoo, or the liquid that goes behind the shoulders as all the bottles said she was still too young. I did not want her to suffer and those nasty fleas to bite her. thanks for the advice, I will follow it. You are so terrific!!!!

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      • Another thing I have read is that if you feed your dog garlic the fleas won’t stick around. She is probably too young for that yet, but you might keep it in mind for when she is a little older.

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      • I know a lady, now that you mention that, that gives her dog garlic tabs every day through the summer. i guess it works or she would not continue with it. Thanks Diane!

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  7. You’ve had a busy and stressful few days. It is wonderful that you have Polly but hope she starts to settle in her crate at night so you can get much needed rest. I noticed about what ‘buckwheat…’said about putting something in with her…if you have even a small clock…I hear that works sometimes.

    As far as Al goes…he is in good hands and once he settles down…and finds that the people in the home agree with you re things in his room etc. he’ll know it’s not just you.

    Take some time each day to just sit and enjoy your new puppy and the fact that you have some more time for yourself, I know you will visit Al often but hopefully you can also get used to taking care of ‘Terry’…..Diane

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    • it is odd that you bring that up about visiting Al. I have been having huge guilt. I did not go and see him yesterday and then made sure I was there this morning. I don’t want to go every day but am I being selfish?

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      • No, I don’t think you’re being selfish. It turns out, you need to “refill your tank” so that when you do go to see Al, you won’t be giving out of a deficit. In other words, sometimes you have to feed yourself emotionally and take care of yourself before you can be any good for others.

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      • No you’re not and maybe just maybe it would help Al adjust better if you did not go every day. He’s in your thoughts every day and in your prayers but when you do decide to go you will have more to talk about and you can tell him about Polly etc. Honestly Terry ..take some time and rest…deep rest that you haven’t had for awhile…Diane

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      • Absolutely not Terry; you have to live your own life too, and on the days that you have other plans/can’t face going in (and it’s perfectly okay to feel like that) you can just call the home and they’ll tell Al that you were in touch.

        Hugs to you xx

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    • thank you Brian. although he had no room in his head to consider what I had brought him, I hope he did enjoy it later on after I left. Although he is now in a nursing home, i still have to be a sister, I can not give into things I know that are not good for him or his space he needs in walking and he does not see this at all

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  8. The medicine for those scabs is in the pet isle at walmart at least here it is it is in a bottle and is a first aid liquid all I do is put some in the cap but you don’t have too and use a q-tip to apply this way you know it gets down under both coats. Also the vet told me if she was itching a lot to get some liquid childrens benedryl and give her orally 1/4 of the actual dose for children and I used a straw to give it to shadow. I would measure the dose out or you could even use a dropper i just did not have one and had to get creative lol so I would put the staw into the bottle and get what looked to be the right doasage and put my finger at the top of the straw to hold liquid in straw and put in her mouth. It helps with any itchyness. My shadow has a food allergy too hope polly does not for a while I had to give her a grain free food for this issue and then she seemed ok and I went back to her normal food. SHe will love to snuggle right up to you at night. My shadow does all the time. She will whine at bedside if I do not pick her up. But she ends up underneath the bed by morning usually. They also have the flea drops you can put from top of head right down the spine to help with fleas. I found out when shadow had her pups that they tend to chew on the collars and it is not good for them to get that powder on the collars in their mouths and or to ingest it. Plus the drop last three months. It comes in a tube and you just run the tube right down the back of the spine. Head to tail. She is really going to grow on ya and she is such a cutey. I hope to get another some day but for now my shadow and my Trapper are enough. Trapper is a labrador retreiver and cocker spaniel mix he is called a spanador. And if you walk her all around peremeters of your yard and when she tries to walk out in road and you say no this helps her learn her boundries as well. I did this with my shadow and I have never had to worry about her leaving the yard ever! Maybe ask if you can bring her to visit Al too this may help him as well. Animals have a way with cheering up the ones who are sick. Maybe she can cheer up a few more residents too make some routines with the patients there. She just may become very popular! Either way enjoy her you deserve it sweety! Make sure you get a wormer for her too usually for pups it is a butterscotch flavored cube or liquid can’t remember from when shadow had her pups but it is fairly inexpensive and the vet can give it to you to take home and give them. She is adorable!

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    • I read everything on the label on flea items and they all said except the one flea collar that she was too young. I wanted to get the drops that you place behind her neck, do you think she is too young. She will be nine weeks this week. I did get a wormer, but the package said she needed to be 12 weeks, so have it here for later. Al doesn’t seem to care about her, nor does he seem to think having her for my own healing is of any importance. i don’t know about him

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    • ohhhhh thank you very much Missus. It was hard, because I was making a decision that affected him and me, and I was getting his thoughts, but not knowing if he really understood. I really needed to hear your words. bless you

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  9. Oh, I would let Polly sleep with you… Why not???…and I’m so proud of your decision about Al…and actually it sounds as though he’s doing well…what a blessing!…
    I liked tthat you reminded him of all you had brought him…and left when he started that “pity me” song…You have heard it too long…and knowing he is well taken care of…Great!…mkg

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  10. I am sorry Al got upset, but I am so proud of you! You said you did not have to take it and you left!! Al is like a child. He wants what he wants when he wants it, whether it is good for him or not. Just remember that you know best, not Al. So glad you have Polly. Pets love us unconditionally.

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