Love This Poet!

Photo of Robinson Jeffers

Photo of Robinson Jeffers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ghost by Robinson Jeffers
There is a jaggle of masonry here, on a small hill
Above the gray-mouthed Pacific, cottages and a thick-walled tower, all made of rough sea rock
And Portland cement. I imagine, fifty years from now,
A mist-gray figure moping about this place in mad moonlight, examining the mortar-joints, pawing the
Parasite ivy: “Does the place stand? How did it take that last earthquake?” Then someone comes
From the house-door, taking a poodle for his bedtime walk. The dog snarls and retreats; the man
Stands rigid, saying “Who are you? What are you doing here?” “Nothing to hurt you,” it answers, “I am just looking
At the walls that I built. I see that you have played hell
With the trees that I planted.” “There has to be room for people,” he answers. “My God,” he says, “That still!”

I Asked, And He Answered

Today was the day that I went and picked up Al to take him to our favorite restaurant. I got

Close up image of Cradle cap

Close up image of Cradle cap (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

there on time, and he was dressed in his coat and hat and all ready to go, but something seemed different.

I thought that the main reason he wanted to go to the nursing home, was different from my reasons, he wanted to socialize. Every time I go there, he is not socializing. I can’t put my finger on it, but something is not the same.

I know, it takes time as you all tell me, and this is an adjustment period, but I saw things today that made me quite upset, and I did say something when I took him back. When we got to the restaurant he could not take his own jacket off, and when I questioned him about simple things he cried and I could tell he was confused or didn’t understand things.

He told me he was getting prunes for his snack, so I simply asked  what else to go along with them, and he said nothing. I asked him if he asked for anything else and he said no. He didn’t know he was supposed to ask.

His fingernails were awful. They were black and I could tell by some colors under his nails, that he has been doing some digging too. Here we were at the restaurant, and I could barely eat, looking at his nails, or I would have been ill.

I asked him about activities he had been doing, and he said therapy. I asked what else, and he said nothing. I asked him if he told anyone that he wanted to be involved with activities, and he said no, he didn’t know what activities there were.

He explained to me that his vision is blurry again, that he can not see. I told him I didn’t know what to think, as we had just picked up brand new glasses for him two weeks ago. He said he didn’t know.

Everything was I don’t know and tears. There was more confusion today than I had ever seen before. I am going to give it up to PD, that this is the reason. I dropped the questions when our food arrived, and we ate. He ate good but could barely got the glass to his mouth, his tremors were so bad. I could see that he is definitely getting weaker in strength.

In the car on the way to the restaurant, his tremors were so bad, it made me dizzy watching him. I am not sure if this is the progression of PD or what. He ate a breaded cheeseburger, fries, a diet cherry cola, and a piece of sugar cream pie, so he has a good appetite!

After we were finished, I searched through the store for snacks for him to take back. I had taken him snacks that were left over from here at home, when he was placed, and he was sure to let me know he was running low. I can’t figure out if he is eating the snacks during the day, or at bedtime, and this is why he is not being offered snacks or what is going on.

He told me that the nurse told him to take his money and buy himself a shelf for the wall. He started crying because he said that the nurse should know he doesn’t have any money. See where his comprehension is coming in? I explained that the nurse thought if she told him that he needed the shelf then he would tell his sister, and she could go get him a shelf, which I did.

After lunch, and getting the shelf, I asked him where else he would like to go, and he said no where, he was ready to go back. I asked him again, saying anywhere you want to go, let’s go, while it is nice outside, but he still said no, so I took him back.

Once back he was content to sit in his recliner. I  had brought him some goodies so he and I opened them. He could not open anything by himself, his fingers were too weak, so I opened and he watched. I had gotten him something that he had wanted so bad, the merry-go-round that you see at Christmas time. It plays music and lights up. I just knew he was going to be so excited, but all I got was a half-smile.

After we opened everything and I discarded the empty boxes, I placed things within his hand’s reach, and told him I was going to go speak to the nurse. He didn’t say anything, so I went out of his room for a bit. I found his nurse, and for the second time, I explained about the filthy nails, and that they needed to be cleaned every single day, and hopefully this time, I said it plain enough. I explained to her about his cradle cap all over his face and in his hair again. I explained  when I brought him in there, about the terrible cradle cap due from the PD and that his head needed to be oiled each day and lotion needed to be applied to his face each day. I said all the work I had done is now gone, because it is all back.

I explained with a smile, that I was not trying to be a pain in the butt, but, if they didn’t do as I requested, his face was going to be a mess and he was going to start digging and scratching like he did at home and he would be a bloody mess.

She listened and she made notes, so hopefully this will be taken care of. I explained for the second time that Al won’t ask for anything, and then showed her the list of things that he wished for, and she said he needs to speak up. I said that I agreed with her, but he will not speak up. He is mentally challenged, and doesn’t get the picture, ask and receive. Once again, more notes. Hopefully through time, this will all be taken care of. I just don’t want him to suffer for things that a minute can fix.

Al is a complicated person. He has trouble with comprehension, and understanding, but in other ways he is very brilliant. He is crafty in some ways, and very innocent in other ways. He made the mistake of letting me know that he had money in his wallet. I asked him how did he get money?

He explained he goes down to the little lady at the front desk and tells her he wants money so he can buy a soda or snack, but then he doesn’t buy it, he clings to his money. So he had done this each day and now had a nice little pile in his wallet.

I explained to him for the third time that he can not carry money, that something could happen to it, and if it did, the facility will not make it reappear in his wallet. I am sorry, but inside, I was laughing a little, because he just amazes me at how he thought up this idea to have money once again. On the other hand, I feel bad for him, because he has carried money all through his adult life, and now the facility says no, you may not.

I told the nurse what had happened, and they walked him down to the front desk lady and had him put the money back into his account. He got upset with them instead of me this time, which was a nice change, so I don’t know what his next creative idea will be.

It was a good day, and I may seem a little picky, but I keep my ears and eyes open, and I do ask questions, because Al is going to answer me much better than any staff volunteering answers.

Now, I am home and have taken Polly outside, then brought her inside, and she peed again on the carpet. It stresses me out, I am sorry. My mind is not healed from all of the daily issues from Al, and here, I have a pup, who is the cutest thing, but I am too stressed yet to enjoy her. Walking on my feet and on my heels, whimpering if she doesn’t get held every second is driving me up the wall. I love her, but for heaven’s sake, give me some breathing space! Part of me just wants to sleep and drown out everything around me that I think of all the time.

Something has to give, but I am not sure what it is. Thanksgiving is next week, and although it looks like it is going to be a small dinner gathering, I have not even went to the store yet. I just don’t want to. I have to change my train of thought!



Chapter 1

Jane looked into Henry’s eyes with desire, letting him know that the moment was now.

Chevy Belair ´55

The passion building between the two had peaked, although the two knew it was wrong, there was no holding back. Henry pulled his car off to the side of the road, and he put it in park, and opening the door, he went over to Jane’s side and opened her door, and then helped her into the back seat of the car.

He went over to his side and crawled in, scooting as close as he could to her. He pushed her hair back, and whispered in her ear how much he loved her and that one day they were going to be married. Hearing these words, Jane, laid down on the seat, and raised her skirt, then directed  his hands to where she wanted to be touched.

Henry’s hands probed her body, finding and touching areas, that had never been touched before. He reached up and pulled his shirt out of his jeans, and Jane helped him unbutton his shirt. He slipped his shirt off, allowing her to run her fingers over the hair that lay nestled in the middle of his chest, and he grabbed her hair and pulling her head back, he began to kiss her neck and nibble on her tender ears.

He heard moans coming from within her body, nudging him to continue to go further, reaching for her inner soul, begging for release. He kissed her lips hard with passion, and with one hand, he unzipped his pants and brought her hand to his manhood, begging to be fondled.

Her hand had never felt this before and as she hesitated, he guided her hand, commanding performance, raising the intensity of desire between the two. His hand then went back to the warmth of her body, and when he knew the time was perfect, he scooted her farther down on the seat, and he took her virginity.

The screams and moans drove him further into her, and within minutes he was finished, and helped her up and they both placed their clothes back on to where they were originally placed.

He cracked the window and reached over to the front seat and grabbed his pack of cigarettes and took one out and lit it, letting the smoke blow out of the side window. He offered her one, but she refused, letting him know that she didn’t smoke. He said,” Was it as good for you babe, as it was for me?” Jane replied,” I have never felt anything like this before. My body feels hot and a little sore, but I liked it, no I loved it!”

Henry told her,” I didn’t mean to hurt you doll, your body just drove me crazy, and I had to have you.”  Jane nodded her head, letting him know that she understood what he was saying. She scooted over a little closer to him, and snuggled her head in his shoulder. He placed his arm around her and giving her a squeeze, he finished his smoke, and looked at his watch, and told her he probably should get her home, so that she didn’t get grounded by her parents.

The two got out of the car and sat back down in the front seat. Henry leaned over and gave her a kiss on her lips, and said, ” I love you babe, you were great. One of these days, when I get some money saved up, you and I are getting hitched.” Jane smiled at him and with this, he started the car and pulled back out on the highway, and drove her home.

When they arrived at her house, he reached over her and opened her car door, and giving her another hard kiss on the lips, he told her goodbye and that he would call her. She got out and leaning back into the car, she told him she loved him, and with her hands, blew him a kiss, smiled, then turned around and headed for the door.

He watched her walk up  to her front door and waved to her when she turned back to look at him, and then she went in and he drove to his home, thinking to himself, how lucky he was to have found a girl who loved him, and she didn’t have any trouble proving it to him either.

He pulled up in his parents drive-way, and turning the motor off, he grabbed the keys, and let himself out of the door, and closing the door softly, he walked up to the door and let himself in. He found his mom, Carol, sitting at the kitchen table, bent over in a drunken stooper, and his father, George, was snoring in front of the television, in his easy chair.

He did not want to wake them, so he took the stairs three at a time, arriving quickly at his closed bedroom door. He opened it up and walked in and threw his wallet on the night stand, and sitting on the bed, he took off his loafers and socks, stood up and unzipped his jeans, and taking them off, he pulled back his bed covers and crawled inside, and covering up to his neck, he laid  there, reliving the night’s activities. He sure did love this girl, and he was going to marry her, but it was going to take some time to save money up from working part-time at the grocery store and the bowling alley.

It was summer, and school was out, so Henry and Jane spent every free moment together. They lived near each other, and also were within walking distance of the lake, so the two of them went swimming a lot,and hung out with all of their friends. Days were spent in laughter and evenings were spent in  passion.

This pattern continued on for a few weeks, and then one morning, Jane got up in the morning, but instead of jumping out of bed, like she usually did, she laid back down, because her stomach was churning, and she felt like she was going to throw up.

Daily Prompt: Three Letter Words/ The Daily Post

Write an entire post without using any three-letter words.

Letter dice d6

This is going to be a very hard thing to do

Writing a blog with no three letter words.

I  have to enforce  my very aged brain and even some.

So I don’t sound like I have come totally undone.

What makes it worse is my brain is so cold

I just came back inside from letting Polly leak

I made my coffee, I’m waiting to drink

My eyes continue to want to remain half asleep.

So here I am placed with a drink  inside  me

Wracking my brain over this daily prompt

Polly is whining because of wanting to play

So I have to stop writing so Polly won’t stray.