FWF Free Write Friday, Word Prompt

After I just blogged about my Thanksgiving dinner with my brother, I found it ironic that this weeks FWF was on Gratitude. It is almost what I have just written about.

I will write about it again, because in my mind the most smallest of things in life, are to be grateful for and with gratitude there comes no dollar signs.

Gratitude to me means many things. I have a home, with a roof, that keeps me safe from winds, rains, deep heat, and snow. I can gather my family here, and enjoy laughter, and make memories to keep in the back of my mind, for the days when I am no longer able to get out, or may not even remember a time when family comes to visit.

I can sit inside the warmth of my home and watch the rain beat out on the sidewalks, turning dull gray into shiny glass reflections, bouncing from  the trees. I can watch the snowflakes gently fall, and try to count each unique flake, and remember back to when I was a child,where  I would race outside in my new coat mom and dad bought me, and open my mouth wide, only to lick up the flakes and laugh, and then fall into the virgin snow, to make snow angels.

There is a quietness now in my home, where only God and I live. Al is no longer living here but has acquired another home where many angels can watch over him, and the worry is taken off of my shoulders, in which I worried whether I was doing enough, or doing things right to help him remain standing and pain-free.

I was filled with gratitude, when I was able to drive to his new home, and proudly walk in, and say that I, was there to pick up my baby brother. I was there to bring him back to his familiar home. He was asleep, so soundly sleeping, that I had to call out his name softly three times, but when he opened his eyes, my heart beat like the beat of the drums, when he looked  up at me with half alert eyes, and smiled big at me. This ripped my chest cavity wide open, as my heart could not quit expanding from joy, that he smiled at me.

He was not angry, he was not sad, he had made peace with his room and his roommate in his new home, and he wanted to come home with big sister. There are no dollar amounts, nor could the richest pay me enough, for what I felt at the precise moment in my life.

I had the ramp that he would walk, with the red carpet, showing him that he was and always will remain king of this home. He walked through a veil of white, Christmas lights, that twinkled, hidden amongst silver tinsel, letting him feel the flow of happiness, that I felt being able to bring him home for a day.

When he walked into the living room, it had been transformed into a child’s dream of a beautiful Christmas tree, adorned with soft multi-colored lights and replicas of ornaments that we used to stare at in awe when we were children ourselves.

The smells coming from within, of Pumpkin pie, and ham and everything that we remembered from our youth, awaited his nostrils, drawing him into a home filled with love and memories.

Although, Parkinson’s Disease has been attacking his heart, and forcing him to slow down and have more pain, my baby brother sacrificed all of this to show me he loved me. NO, he did not say, I love you sis, his actions of being here told me everything my heart wanted to feel.

He asked to go back early to his new home. He told me he was glad that I had picked him up and brought him  home, but his pain was so bad, that he needed to go back to lie down. After taking him back, and getting him comfortable and situated, I told him I loved him, and I thanked him for coming for the day. I thanked him for being my baby brother and spending this family day together.

When I reached my car, I have to admit, there were a couple of tears, gently falling, shining like the tinsel on the ramp, I made for him, reflections of the rain, gently turning the gray sidewalks into mirrors of glass.

I looked up to the stars and I thanked God for the gift of my brother. For this holiday, the two of us shared love without speaking it, we shared time, that could not be calculated on the clock, we shared memories of our past, and I made new memories to savor for when I am old and rocking in my rocker, gazing outside at the gentle snowflakes falling, and smiling for the good life God had granted me.


27 thoughts on “FWF Free Write Friday, Word Prompt

  1. You have written beautiful, but I let it stay at that … you know. Think it’s so wonderful that you have adjusted living alone and taking on your life .. and your own needs now. You so well and I love the new Terry, only want to see even more of her.


    • I feel like she is slowly emerging, letting others know who I really am from within, trying not to let fear of rejection keep me hidden inside. it is a real journey, and not easy, but am moving forth day by day. thank you for the beautiful comment!


  2. Terry, you sure know how to tug at the old heart strings, lady! I adore how you express your love for your brother and your thankfulness for the small things. We should all be so grateful. A mighty powerful and touching piece you have shared. A pleasure to have it included this week. Thank you and happy holidays. Big hug! xox


  3. Wonderful post, Terry! I am so glad ya’ll had a good day. I’ve been worried about you as I received no posts from you yesterday or today. I found this through Facebook.


    • with smoking the turkey I was outside most of the day, running in to keep tabs on the foods cooking inside my familiar area! with Al here, I didn’t want to lose a moment of time with him! I am fine, the house is silent, and I am loving it at the moment. I made the mistake of going into my brother’s room to look for something, and the tears came, so I shut the door and did not return back. i will save it for another day. I hope you had a great day yesterday!!!


      • I am so glad everything went well for you and Al yesterday. I had a good day because after I got home from work, my daughter was here. She is here until late tomorrow or very early Sunday. I’m off tomorrow so we get to spend the day together. I have to work tonight. It is so good to have her here.
        Hugs, Barb.


  4. Terry, very moving and honest, thank you for sharing. I love the phrase “and the worry is taken off of my shoulders” having suffered a deep loss earlier in life I think I might live right there also. Every moment is a gift to be treasured.


    • when we go through tragedy, we do know how each other feels don’t we…………..we never get past it, but yet our hearts heal. i just hate seeing my brother getting weaker in front of my eyes, so yes, each moment is a gift to be treasured……….thank you Mark for your kind comment


    • I had a wonderful day with my brother and part of my family. Although, my brother did not feel well and wanted to go back, each moment we spent together was a real blessing for me. I went Christmas shopping tonight. How was your holiday?


  5. Terry, this is my first visit to your blog, and I’m in awe. Your words call up images, scents and feelings. You are a great writer.
    As for the post, sharing your world, it is wonderful and intense. Thank you.


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