Can we control our feelings, or do our feelings control us? Can we stand in front of a man who we have proclaimed our hearts and body to, and listen to the words, that he no longer loves me? Do we fall apart, cry in front of him, cause a scene, or do we show our wall, let him see that it doesn’t matter that he just ripped our heart out, turn around, and reaching for our purse, we walk out of the door holding our heads high?
When a loved one is dying, do we go visit, or do we stay away? Do we walk up to the bed and lean in and let the tears flow, showing them how much we care? Do we take a hold of the pale, limp hand and give it a light squeeze, whispering how much we have loved and admired them through out our time of knowing them here on earth. Or do we stand back, with our backs erected, a smile glued to our cheeks, letting the one that we love more than life itself, know that we are strong, that we can get through this, that we shall carry on with our lives just fine?
The excitement that most of us feel when we learn we are pregnant, explodes among family members, as the joy of a bundle of love, is coming into our lives. Is each of us ready for this? Is there any that wish other wise, that this would never have happened? Do we pretend in front of familiar faces, nodding our heads, smiling at the future, agreeing with what is said, or are there others who wish they could speak up, to show the hidden fears of having a child, maybe with a father or without a father for the child. Not wanting to disappoint loved ones, but turning into our pillows in the darkness of the nights, letting tears comfort us into a restless sleep?
What is it that causes some of us to be stronger than others? Upbringing, fear of nothing, love for our own person, what makes each of us different? Do each of us deserve and also have the right to be happy with our own lives we have created? Have we followed our own paths? Have we followed our hearts? Have we listened to our inner spirit speaking, or do we do, as others wish us to do in order to keep others happy at the expense of our own souls being happy?
What are our choices in life? Who do we want to be? Who do we want to look up to us? I find own self questioning my own self in this late period of my life. Who have I really been being true to? Myself, my family, my friends? What were my goals, and how have they changed through the years? Am I the same person I was ten years ago? Am I happy with who I will be in ten years from now?
The greatest gift I could give myself, is freedom this year at Christmas. Freedom to be the person I was born to be, freedom to not run when faced with fear of rejection, free to love myself first, and to realize not everyone will love me back. I say now is the time, if there are changes to be made, let me make them now, this year, allow myself the privilege to be happy, to be accepted for what I represent. What do I want to hear if I am lying on my death-bed dying from an incurable cancer, what is it that my ears wish to hear…………….
- Had We Loved In Time. (manifestationyoga.com)
- Thankful Praise (alovablespring.wordpress.com)
- All my life is portioned out for me. (silhouettesofcedar.wordpress.com)
- Candid FEELINGS about those I love – Reflections (creatingwithin.com)
- Till death do us part…. (bookishtemptations.com)
- Fool’s wish. Lover’s hold on. (johncoyote.wordpress.com)