Twas the night before Christmas
Funny Santa Pics (Photo credit: Scott Clark)
My grandma was soused
I looked right beside her
And there sat her spouse.
Mamma was laying all over the bird
An empty bottle of booze lie in her hand
The stogie she puffed on was lying in ash
In the background was playing the big city bands.
The big man of the house was nowhere to be found
I heard he got pissed and flew out of sight
Talk was that he tried to steal a cookie or two
So the old lady hit him and turned out his lights.
Dinner’s at six and the table is set
The doorbell is knocking the guests are all here
I open it and say welcome to all and do come on
I didn’t know what to do, so I hand them a beer.
Every year my family flips out ore the day
I don’t know why they continue this way
Just let it be over, get the meal on the plates
Open the gifts and flip open the gates.
Another day over, the holiday is gone
Take down the tree, turn out the lights
Ma and pa sit with shovels and brooms in each hand
Pushing the snow, and waiting for spring to come into sight.