Visiting Al Today

I went to see Al today and I did not get to stay very long. When I walked in to the room his face was a frozen mask. I see this much more often than I used to. He still has his moments of alertness but they are beginning to grow thin.

I saw a boo-boo on his forehead and asked him what happened, as I saw blood seeping through. He stated that he had run into the bathroom door last night through the night. I said wow, that must have hurt, and he nodded his head yes.

It is getting difficult to see what kind of mood he is in with his face in a blank stare, but he did tell me he was sorry that I had come out, because he did not feel well, and he wanted to sleep so bad. I saw his eyes nodding more and more and so I let him go to sleep.

On my way out the nurse said that he is becoming more confused and I agreed with that I had seen it also. He is using the wheel chair more and more, and I know that he feels like everyone is laughing at him. I told him I understood, but it was alright to use it. It is better to ride the wheel chair instead of falling. The nurses and aides are having to push him up by the arms to keep him standing. His poor legs are just getting tired.

It looks odd to see a six-foot man not be able to hold those legs up, but we can not see what is going on inside of the muscles and nerves. I so wish I could just stop it all for him. He is napping more and more, but yet at times you can see him joke around with the nurses and smiling. His words are soft-spoken now and the words all become together, making it hard to understand what he is saying. He is stuttering quite a bit now.

The nurse just called me and said Al is really confused tonight. He can’t remember her name and he asked for pain pills, and she said she would go get him some. She told me when she went in his room to give them to him he was sitting stark naked. She asked what are you doing, and he replied waiting for my pills. She said naked? He said, am I naked?

My poor brother. My heart breaks at what this nasty old mean Parkinson’s Disease is doing to him. My friend tells me he is going to get so much worse, and I believe her, because she has so much more experience with the disease than I do, but I am fighting it. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want it to get worse. I want my baby brother back. What if he forgets who I am………

 

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