FWF Free Write Friday, Resolve


resolve_quotes-300x300Resolve means obsolete, dissolve, melt, break-up and separate.

2012 is ending and the fears and hope of 2013 are coming in with a big bang. What do I want to have happen in the new year? Do you want a dream version or reality.

I suppose  I am one of those simple, simplistic people, I should stay with what I know best and let a small granule of hope enter this post near the end.

As I sit here thinking of what simple things I would like to write about, I could think of very little. Instead, I think I am a bit of a dreamer. Filled with hope mixed with my faith.

I think I will go into the mode of dreamer instead. Let’s go back, way back. Back to when we were young kids. We went out and rode our bikes, made snowmen and snow angels. We went roller-skating, ice-skating. We laughed, we trusted and we cried. Our hearts were worn on our shoulders. What came out of our mouths was innocence.

We moved into our teen years. We tasted love for the first time. We tested our independence. We could be defiant at times, trying to explain our way of thinking. We learned to drive and work for pay. We were slowly being drawn into the realities of our world.

Some  married,and experienced parenthood. Others wanted to keep their independence. We learned about things we were not taught through trial and error. We learned about budgeting, credit cards,  and heartbreak. Some marriages made it and others failed.

We changed jobs maybe once, maybe several times until we found our comfort as in an old pair of shoes. We learned about routine, and staying up late, working in the workforce and also at home.

As we grow in age we are introduced more and more to illness, death, aches and pains. We learn that we must go on without our parents beside us. We learn what the word void means through first-hand experience. We become familiar with downsizing, grandchildren and  tighter budgets.

Along the road to death we open doors that we never want to see shut. For me those doors represent  God, writing, costume jewelry, black memorabilia, antique furniture and silence.

These doors I have walked through and tasted remain a part of who I am today. So coming to the conclusion of this I see me. What I have become, who I am. I want to resolve nothing about myself. I don’t want to see myself melt a way as a wasted footprint in the sand. I am not ready to separate myself from this world. I only want to expand my mind and continue to learn until I am no longer breathing. I want to continue to have a heart for others, lend an ear to those who wish to speak, and continue to carry my faith in the new trials and joys awaiting me in 2013.

The part of me that is a dreamer is very much alive in my heart and soul. I dream about the day that I will see God and my parents once again. I dream about a day when all three of my children come together as a union and not be divided. I dream about waking up one day to hear they have found a cure for Parkinson’s Disease. I dream about the day I go to see Al, but this time I am checking him out and bringing him home. I still dream about bumping into the man of my dreams.

It is good to have dreams. Without dreams our soul become stagnant like a dried creek. So I will continue to dream, and try hard to live in the reality of today’s world. I will work very hard at accepting what is to come and keep looking to the skies asking God, is it time yet?

Daily Prompt; That Stings / The Daily Post


DSC_0049 (Photo credit: BobMacInnes)

Franz Kafka said, “we ought to read only books that bite and sting us.” What’s the last thing you read that bit and stung you?


I have to confess, I used to be a huge reader, but for a few years now I don’t read that much. It isn’t that I don’t want to, it is that I can not concentrate. I have read a few books that were recommended by friends, and I enjoyed them very much. I would rather talk about the biggest book of all next in line to the Bible.

The book of my life. This is a huge book that has many chapters. It holds love, hurt, learning, disappointments, laughter and sorrow. I  have been writing in this book for 58 years.

There are chapters that have bit and stung me real good. An example would be when my best g/f went after my now ex-husband. Talk about a big bite in the rear end! It did sting real bad for a long time.

Another time I can remember being stung pretty hard and deep, is when the doctor’s office called me many years ago, and asked me to come in right away. I should have ignored the words right away. Hearing the devastating words that my two-year old had bone cancer was definitely a big bite to our family home.

Then came the double stings that bite so big you really never get over or through the pain. This was when I lost both of my parents to illness. Talk about a bite and sting  bigger than a venomous snake!

The last sting came when I was told that Al had Parkinson’s Disease. This stinger is still in my heart. It pierces a little poison every now and then, forcing me to realize that I can do nothing more than give what God gave me, love. Love is the biggest medicine on this earth. It is free to anyone, and most accept it. Love is what I give to Al as I visit him and comfort him. The bite has been forgotten, but the sting still remains as I sit side by side with my brother waiting out this terrible game of pain.

Blog of The Year Award, 2012


Late last evening I noticed that a blogger had nominated me for this award. It was so late, I asked her if it was alright to let it slide until this morning, and with her permission, I am now posting it.

I feel a little embarrassed as I know no other language but English. Maybe some of you do, so I will post what information is there on the home page.


Salut tuturor!
Numele meu e Luisa si sunt aici pentru ca ador sa scriu!
In primul rand, as vrea sa spun cate ceva despre mine.
Inspiratia imi vine din cele mai simple lucruri, asa ca va puteti astepta de la orice din partea mea.
Pasiunile mele sunt literatura, muzica, pictura, filmele, actoria, revistele, statul la computer si cred ca am ceva ”talent” la inteles oamenii, ador sa privesc apusul, sa ma plimb atunci cand simt nevoia.
Desi nu cunosc multa lume, imi place sa stau ore intregi la telefon cu putinii prieteni adevarati.
Vreau sa le multumesc mult tuturor celor care citesc ceea ce scriu si celor care vor citi. Va astept parerile cu drag si sper sa nu va dezamagesc niciodata.
                                                     Cu sinceritate,

Victoria G.

Buna tuturor!

Stiu ca este o formulare mai neoficiala, dar este unanim acceptata de toata lumea. Asadar ma voi descrie in cateva cuvinte.

Pseudonimul meu este Victoria G. si va scriu de pe meleagurile Olteniei, pentru a va aduce in casa si in suflet, bucuria si caldura, armonia si fericirea, muzicalitatea si fantezia cuvintelor minunate in povesti imbratisate.

Condeiul va fi cununa ce va uni inima mea de inima voastra, iar tot ce va lasa in urma, va fi o flacara albastra.

Sper ca va placut si cu aceasta inchei scurta mea prezentare. Sper sa nu va dezamagesc si cat sunteti voi alaturi de mine / de noi, totul o sa fie bine.

Va pup si va imbratisez cu drag, a voastra si pentru totdeauna, Victoria G.


Thank you so much for this wonderful award!!!!

Blog of the Year Award banner 600

Who Am I? I Am Learning

After the Christmas Day was here and gone, I sat back and went over it. With some nice things I saw were also mixed with sadness, tears and smiles from my brother. Others I remembered comments that were good and some left me hurt.

I tried my best. I consider it slaving when I spent four days in the kitchen making foods that looked merry and bright. Some tried them, others would not, and some liked. I am learning very quickly after I have wiped the starry eyes, that life is not what I wish it to be. Life is what it is. I can choose to do what I used to do; which was to carry the hurt with me, or I can choose to stop and move forth.

I have chosen the latter. Acceptance that things will never be as they were when I was young is something I am strongly working on for 2013. Closing the gates around my heart is one more thing that I want to work on. I don’t want to close my heart totally. There is too much to see, love and laugh about in life. I do however, need to pull the corral in just a bit more, to remind me that when things are not as you think they should be, you feel it, mourn it just a wee bit, and then move on.

I think that this will work out for me much better. I have two dear friends that seem to go through some of the similar events that I do and they are not living in dream land anymore. Dreams are nice but not when you can ever see the reality of them.

Yesterday, I went to a store in Fort Wayne that I had never stepped feet or eyes in. I walked through the doors and my eyes became big like a kid looking at all the Christmas gifts under the glittery tree. It wasn’t a clothing store, or a health food store. It was Hobby Land.

I had a ball. Even with my aching back and burning feet, I made it through several aisles. I started my New Year’s Eve resolution a tad bit early. I thought of me first. Do you have any idea how difficult a task it is to think of me first? It felt awkward, tongue-tied, and rough around the edges, but I forced myself.

I have always thought of others before me, and it is not always a good idea, because you can lose respect for yourself as well as others can take it for granted that you will always be there, so you let yourself be set-up to a point for pain.

So in ending this post, I have posted what I did for me yesterday. I want my home to reflect who I am. When I come home from seeing Al, or I need comforting, I want to feel it wrap its arms around me here in my four walls. Here is what I did to begin.

I bought some Victorian ceramic drawer pulls for my bathroom vanity in black and white marble.door knobs

min christmas tree










I took my big Christmas tree down and left these two pretty smaller ones up in opposite corners of my living room. They bring me peace and calmness.minature xmas tree


















I placed this antique wall shelf with prisms. I put a loaf of French bread, a bunch of grapes and a candle on top. In the evenings the lights from the Christmas tree reflect from the prisms and create a nice light show.wall shelf










I had this large vase so I redid the entire thing, giving it a wispy soft look, which invites me to be in a peaceful environment.flowers










Already, I am feeling more calm, confident, and allowing all things behind me to remain in the memory storage box.