Walking In Faith


洗髮精 Johnsons' baby shampoo.

I know it isn’t the prettiest subject, but my life is not always pretty. You want to know the good and the bad in my days right? I always said life is not really a bed of roses.

Right after supper last evening I got this tiny sharp pain beside my eye. No, it wasn’t from my throw together meal. LOL. I heard you thinking. It didn’t go a way, and by bedtime, I wasn’t in any crucial pain, but that stab was still there.

I went to use the lady’s room prior to jumping in my nice warm flannels sheets and I saw the culprit staring back at me in the mirror. I panicked a bit My one eye lid was pretty swollen. Oh no, I am supposed to stand in front of people on Thursday and give a verbal reading of my poem. What am I going to do now. I don’t want to miss this opportunity and I also don’t want to be questioned.

For the past two years the doctors are letting me know that I am getting older. Me? Getting older? Well, when the doctor says it, I guess I will believe it also.

My eyes are showing their age also. This is about the fourth time I have gotten another infection in my eye. A tear duct gets plugged. It doesn’t stick with just one eye, it goes to either one, but I have never had it in both at the same time. My eye lid gets swollen and tears run down my face. I have to use this gel type medicine and put it on my eye lid and hope I did a good enough job that it will saturate up under the lid. The antibiotic in it then heals the tear duct, unplugging it.

I put the gel on at bedtime but when I got up this morning it was in full force to the naked eye. I need to use this gel three times a day and it had been used once in several sleeping hours. I did as the doctor said. I washed my eye with Johnson’s baby shampoo and then applied the gel. It is almost time to use it again and now the redness is mainly gone. I am just stuck with the eye that looks like someone punched me.

I am going to go to the book reading tomorrow. I am not contagious, and I really don’t want to lose the opportunity to do this. Maybe a door has been opened for me, who knows. I did not see Al today because it is an infection and all kinds of germs run rampant through nursing homes. I haven’t seen him since Sunday in fact because of the frigid temperatures. I did call him but he could not talk as he was playing bingo. I told the nurse to tell him that I would be in tomorrow afternoon. The weather will be better and I also don’t want him to think I don’t care. My eye should be much better as the medicine works quickly.

Now to the last topic. You all know I have been praying without hearing anything about needing to work. For weeks I heard nothing. I placed ads without anything positive coming from it.

Two days a go I had this idea come into my mind but I brushed it off. I was afraid. Afraid of not being able to write anymore. Afraid of losing my friends on here and afraid of not being able to do any type of work because of my bad feet. I can’t stand very long and I can’t sit very long.

Well after the second day of swatting this fly a way, he kept returning. It was getting on my nerves to be quite honest. Have you ever had something on your mind that no matter how you tried to dismiss it, it would not leave until you dealt with it?

I made a couple of calls that my mind kept telling me to do. I have no answers but there is a chance that a program will assess my damages from my diabetes and they may be able to find a match for me that fits my health.

I still  want to worry about not being able to write. Writing has become such an important part of my life. It represents who I am. I have a sneaky feeling that God is behind this. He is answering. If it is him, he already knows my dreams. He will guide me through each door and put me right where I am supposed to be. I believe this is called faith, and I am going to walk in faith that this will turn out alright. I probably won’t have answers yet Friday. From what I was told there is many steps to this.

I feel and did feel calm after I made the phone calls. So now I will not worry or bite my nails or eat everything in my cupboards. I will trust, just plain trust and go to the scheduled meeting Friday afternoon.

29 thoughts on “Walking In Faith

  1. I hope the eye has come down ???!!!
    Glad that you look realistic on the meeting and – just take it comes, there is nothing you can now anyhow. Think it’s great news that Al can’t talk to you because he play Bingo. Where have you got that from that you should lose us here .. because you don’t post so much or replay ??? Blogging isn’t a MUST – it’s something we do when we feel for it .. have something to write about .. and when we are motivated – and if friends will be here. And we don’t have to comment on everything .. we read.

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    • I think because blogging has meant more to me more than I thought. It has meant healing for my soul. It has meant being able to stand on my own two feet for the first time and not do what others think I should be doing. I was always a people pleaser. I thought of me last, and I don’t want to lose that. I need this writing blog. you are right though on the other aspect. no one will leave me. I may not be able to write as often, but it has taken many months for others to get to know who i am and starting to work with strangers who don’t know me, don’t understand why i have sad days scares me

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      • Understandable what you’re saying – but your friends will not leave because you don’t blog or doesn’t commenting every time. Look at me .. I was away for 28 days and only 3 visits to my blog and some few comments.
        This is only a fantastic extension of our real life.
        We, your friends understand and we are faithful, promise you. Terry, we can’t only excite through our blog.

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  2. let me know what is revealed for you… loved this story, you hooked me and I love your writing style… kept me captivated! Hows the eye?

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    • HI Patricia!! So nice to sit and chat with you a moment. thanks for a wonderful comment. My eye is still puffy but is feeling better. At least I can keep it open now. LOL. I will let you know what happens…………….hugs

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  3. No!!! Stay away from the fridge, it’s a killer!
    As for your eye… My daughter in law gets it and her son was born with it too. She’s 25 and it embarrasses her at the same time…drives her crazy! She’s very pretty but when it’s swollen? Not very pretty, poor girl. 🙂 hugs Paula x

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  4. Keep reaching out to the different supports out there, even counselling (shop around for the right one) so that you’re going about this alone. There’s nothing wrong with receiving support, in whatever form that is prescribed, as long as you’re doing what’s necessary to ensure you’re not deteriorating both emotionally and physically. Hugsss….

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    • I am doing pretty good. fighting for Al’s rights when I can get out of this house. the weather has been horrid. single digits during day and nights. today is the first day i have been out. wasn’t too much fun driving with one blurry eye, but did go see Al

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  5. Today is your reading!! I am cheering you on!!
    Sorry about the eye…hope it has gone down.
    Hope the meeting tomorrow goes well.

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    • I have no choice but to let God lead me. There is no one on earth that looks out for my best interest other than God. Friends are great, as you are, but God, now that is another whole topic

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