Daily Archives: January 26, 2013

Hottie Walks Into a Bar

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Fierce, flawless

Laying in bed all covered up. 9pm and watching Bad News Bears. Seeing the faces of these little kids wanting to play ball so badly with a drunk coach that cares more about the can than the kids.

The kids lose all respect for the drunken coach. They take a vote and decide to quit. They had been teased enough by classmates. As I am watching this show something in me is beginning to connect with these kids who are starting to believe they are losers.

Are they really losers or do they just need a push and words of praise? I believe the latter. I find that this is true for all of us who walk this earth. Believing we are nothing and worthless doesn’t make life a great place to walk among other human life.

I started to see my own self as a could be loser. I was having a good beginning to a nice big pity party. I thought about my swim class and how I have missed this week because of appointments for my brother and the known fact that I am too big of a scardy cat  to drive on the snow and in the frigid temperatures.

I began to place myself in make-believe places. I envisioned myself fixing up my face. Using my make-up to make others believe that I was a hottie. I made my eyes pop. I had nice pouty red lips. Flawless skin with nice peachy colored cheeks. I would slide into my tightest fitting pants. Put on a push-up bra and slip a silky top over my chest. Spraying perfume that would drive the guys crazy, I agonized the pain as I squeezed my big feet into four-inch spikes.

There I did it. I looked like Olivia Newton John in the movie Grease. A real looker. I got in my car and drove to the busiest bar and parked. Standing outside the double doors I lit a cigarette and opened the doors making sure to stay there long enough to get the looks coming my way.

Reality smacked me right in the face as some big smart ass made a crack,look at granny there thinking she’s all that and more. Darn, she must be hard up for sex guys. Which one of you is going to be her first?

The smack was hard and I dropped the smoke from my lips and it burnt my perky little blouse as it fell to the ground in ashes. Stepping on it with my heels, I flipped my hair and gave them the bird and turned around and walked a way. I was not going to give them the satisfaction of knowing they had broken this heart.

After letting that vision fall to the floor, I flipped the stations while a commercial was on. Ice-skaters were skating for competition. My visions picked back up as I saw myself standing in front of my dressing room. I had beautiful brown hair that was pulled up tightly into braids on top of my head. My eyes were deep brown and my brows were perfectly lined. Carefully painted red lips adorned my face.

As I smoothed my costume I ran my hands down the curves of my body. I had done good. There was not even an inch to pinch. Hard work outs and starving myself had paid off. I was beautiful. I could hear the crowds cheering. They were calling my name. They wanted to see me skate. I was tagged as a favorite for this years competition.

I walked out of my dressing room and put on my skates and laced them up. I stood at the edge of the rink and saw dozens of roses falling over the floor. All of a sudden I saw myself as the girl who stared in the movie with Rob Lowe. Was her name Lindsey? I can’t remember. She was blind but beautiful and a fabulous skater. She did her routine and then fell over the roses.

For me I walked out with an attitude of beauty and desire and tripped right over the roses. I fell onto the ice head first breaking my nose. Well, there goes that dream. Poof it was gone. The commercial is over so back to the movie.

Because of low esteem and anger towards the coach the kids were acting out. They were punishing the coach for letting them down. The manager had recognized his faults and came back to where he should have been all along. He wanted a second chance. How many times do we as adults give second chances? For kids I think this comes easier. They trust quicker than adults do. After a couple of practices they are all coming together as a team.

I looked at myself. I stripped myself down to nothing. All that was left was the heart and soul that the skin was holding in place. Having given birth three times was the first thing that was sticking out to me. Thank goodness for tummy huggers. We can hide what we don’t want shown.

Growing older is definitely a reason for the sagging to start showing. Boobs that once stood on their own now need a little help from a Madonna bra. The droopy butt needed a pair of panties with a lift for the behind.

Somewhere out there I know there is a woman who has been exactly where I am at today. To have created these wonderful allusions to make us go back to a time when we were younger and with skin much firmer is definitely a dream come true.

It was fun to play make-believe It made me laugh. It lightened my mood, and  I learned a good lesson that I didn’t even realize until it was over. We live  and we play hard in life. We are where we are today because of the paths we have chosen. I may not have that bar look, and I am definitely not one whose name is mentioned often. But I am me, proud of who I am. I have lived, had beautiful babies, taken care of sick, made others feel better. I write, I have what I am supposed to be having for the moment. Who knows what the next door holds that I will walk through.

I still have my dreams. I think it is very important to have dreams and goals. I don’t think it is silly to want to leave one mark on this earth. I am learning through experiences that laughter can be found in small places. I even laughed at myself and this is rare. Life is good isn’t it………

 

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Daily Prompt; Musical/ The Daily Post

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English: Dublin Philharmonic Orchestra in perf...

What role does music play in your life?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

When I was a teenager, it was normal to listen to music. To know every tune and every word was just a fact of life. We played it or at least I did from the time I turned the alarm off up until I set the alarm for the next morning.

Memories of mom and dad dance in my head as I go back in time and can still see mom coming into my room unannounced and yelling at me to turn that music down. Why did she yell? Because she loved me. She tried so very hard to put up with the bam bam bam for the sake of love but just could not endure it any longer.

When we would be in the car as a family I would be forced to listen to their slow music and then after my young nerves were shot I would ask them to turn the dial to a station I was familiar with. Dad always piped up with a straight no. There was no thought even put in it. Almost like a military NO. Mom would agree with him by putting her words of,who can even understand that garbage. Wow, it is awesome to sometimes go back in time and see the circle of life.

When I became a parent of a teen I didn’t have the struggle that my parents did. The music of the eighties was awesome. I could understand the words, and I loved the beat. But then the music went out and the nineties rolled in like thunder. This was a different story now.

No miss nice girl. It was I am turning that station. Quick, where is that remote? I turned to country while the rest of the hip peeps were listening to the garbage, well that is what I called it. Sounds like mom doesn’t it?

When rap came to town I was like get me the hell out of dodge. I could not stand it. I stayed with my country, and I incorporated the eighties and listened to the sixties and seventies. I still do listen to one rapper, Eminem because I love the stories he tells.

Now all that is behind me. I have raised my kids. I have been divorced, and I am older. Viveka has introduced me to symphonies and orchestra music. I have been listening to The Piano Guys. I listen to the sounds of the oceans.

Music today is not so I can fit in. I don’t care what others are listening to. For me and the life I live today, my stress runs high some times so I listen to music that relaxes my soul. I even have a web page here at WordPress for music lovers. If you have never visited please feel free. The link is; http://mymusicthatcalmsme.wordpress.com

Funny how the circle of life becomes complete. I was the child, the teen and the mommy and now I search for peace and quiet.

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Family of Bloggers Award

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family-of-bloggers-award

http://misbehavedwoman.wordpress.com

Here is a little bit about Misbehaved

I am just one stubborn woman watching the fall of a free nation…and the terrifying rise of the Corporate Police State. I share random stories about current events; there is no rhyme or reason to what I might post other than whatever it might be that has my hackles up on any particular day…

What do the letters stand for in the word family to me?

F- Freedom to write what I want to

A-  Ability to be able to move forth in the world. To try to make a difference in some one else’s life

M- Music can change my moods. Through bloggers I have been introduced to different worlds of music.

I- Individual is what I would describe the letter I with. I am learning it is alright to be myself. I do not need to be what others choose and then be miserable with myself

L- Love is something I have been so fortunate enough to receive freely. This family of bloggers has poured out love and support and most importantly, friendship

Y- Yearlong is what friendships and writing are all about. There is no temporary in the blogging family. It is for life

Thank-you once again Misbehaved.

Nominees are

wannabephotographer87
wannabephotographer87.wordpress.com

Viveka
gravatar.com/pusspudding

Mridubala
mridubala.wordpress.com

deanabo
mythoughtsonthesubjectareasfollows.wordpress.com

Arman
corporateskirts.wordpress.com

Pink Ninjabi
pinkninjabi.com

Kadeen
deenakdrowaln.wordpress.com

 

Can You Finish This?

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English: Modular Sleep System (MSS)

I went to bed too late

And woke up at six

I thought this isn’t right

Let’s sleep for kicks.

Fell back to sleep right a way

Dreamed heavily I know

For when I awoke my brain was charged

It was racing and on the go.

I could remember words that my mind had said

I was trying so hard to memorize them

I had no pen nothing to write them down

And now I’ve lost most of the gems.

The words I do remember

Are still stuck in my head

I can tell you what they were

Maybe you can figure out what was said.

As I lay here on the ground

And the guns are going off

I know that these people are trying

To silence me God don’t let me be found.

Well that is what I still remember, and the rest of the words were taken from my mind. I wish that I knew what the ending of this poem was and what I was actually trying to say. Maybe you can finish this. If you write something let me know so I can share with you.

 

 

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