Come Back Butterfly


English: Monarch butterflies

I am a blessed woman. Not the kind of blessing that would make you say wow look at her, doesn’t she look different? No my blessings are not visible when you look at me. They are in the miracles where  God does all the work.

Since yesterday it has been sort of a whirl wind. A mini tornado. First there seemed to be no one that understood what I was trying to say and now everyone gets it.  Many people are involved with Al and my life. Coming together as a basketball team, each one linking with another group. Holding hands and rooting for Al.

This is a miracle to me. To see at least five people involved that I can  think of immediately is awesome. This isn’t including the ones behind the scenes waiting for this form or that nod of approval.

Today I have another meeting with a brand new lady. I am selfish I admit. It is frigid temps here and I wish I could stay huddled in my four walls but I must do this for Al. Do you have any idea how excited my insides are?

As  I woke up this morning I found myself smiling at the thoughts of seeing Al smiling again. Watching him interact with others that are on his level of thinking. Hearing him tell all of his new friends about his coca cola collection.

Maybe I should not voice my thoughts here but I am going to take a risk. I am going to hope that you understand what I am about to say. Come close, closer. I am going to whisper my words. I don’t want anyone to think for one moment that I am not thankful for the good deeds that have been provided to make Al safer.

But there is a difference. It breaks my heart when most of the time I walk in to see Al I see what I would describe as a depressed state of mind. I see Al just about every other day. I see the aids coming into Al’s room but there is a reason. To help in a bathroom situation or take Al or his roommate down to a meal.

I am talking about the communication here. The interaction from one soul to another soul. The part of conversation that makes us feel special and loved. Don’t you and I all want to feel special and loved? Like a birthday every day?

Of course we can’t really have that feeling every day. I realize this, but wouldn’t it be great to wake up each morning knowing without doubt that somewhere in our day someone was going to touch our life in a good way?

Al doesn’t get this where he is. As many years as I have worked in nursing homes, hospitals and private homes I for the first time see the difference. In a nursing home it is our duty to make sure the patient is safe. To have the basic needs and to be given medications at the proper times.

In a group home setting the goal is the same but there is an added ingredient. To make the patient feel worthy. This comes in many forms throughout the 24 hour day and it works. This is the difference that I observe in the nursing homes and group homes.

This is why when I walk in to Al’s room I see the depressed face. He has the basic standard of care without the added ingredient. I don’t want his life to be this way. So having this team working behind the scenes and with me is a miracle from God.

Together we are going to put Al back into a more familiar situation of being in his own home. But instead he will be living in a different home with friends of his own and more help with needs he has.

I ask for prayer even though I know the team is all working together. I pray for a smooth and timely fashion for this to be all done. It is normal here that when you work with the State and government, things can take a very long time, months. So even though I am very thankful I am asking for these extras. I want to replace the sadness with smiles and the quietness with chatter. I know that Al’s Parkinson’s Disease is taking its toll on Al. This is the reason I ask for the prayers. Every month I see the changes taking place.

I don’t know  how long Al will live. I am more concerned with the quality of living Al has until he can no longer realize what day it is. I love him and I want him to have the happiness that all the rest of us have and desire.

Thanks everyone for reading this and taking the moment out of your life to say a special prayer for all of us involved in preparing a new home for Al.

22 thoughts on “Come Back Butterfly

  1. Terry, you’re so right …. it’s not a matter about how long Al will be around – it’s that he gets a quality life there he are not just a number down the corridor .. so so true.
    It’s the same issue nearly everywhere .. and the biggest issue is that there isn’t enough staff to give the care needed. I hope of all my heart that you will be able to move Al so soon as possible, but he wants to move … and he feel comfortable now to do it. I think that the personal connections are so important for all of us .. and especially when we are away from our loved ones.

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    • It makes me feel good that you also agree with me. It is definitely the quality of life. You made a point about the number down the hall. That is what Al is to nursing home. I can’t blame them entirely. All of nursing homes are short staffed. it is common knowledge that most residents in a nursing home realize they will never go home again, but for Al he is not the same, so I want for him what he can still feel and have in his life. Thanks Viveka

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      • Terry, you are thinking in the right way – and your heart is in your judgment of Al’s situation – of course he should feel and have a life.
        It’s not just to put somebody at a home and hope for the best – they have to have a good life too – and if they don’t we have to change it .. in the best way we can. You have your heart and soul at the right place.

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  2. You will and have had my prayers for you and Al, I shall bring the need for a swift and easy move to a good group home to our prayer service tonight. I agree with you as well on quality versus quantity. May a home be found quickly!! God Bless you both!

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  3. We are excited with you and for you and praying too! This will make a difference Terry. You are going in the right direction. I am so happy you have others on your team .. thanking God for them and for you! God bless you!

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  4. when i worked in the state facility our goal on discharge was to find the least restrictive environment. of course safety and care are primary concerns but we have to remember at all times we are talking about a living, breathing, being with the right to happiness. sounds like you are on the right road. happy for you both!

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    • I will be honest with you Diane. When the therapist said Al’s days of walking are almost complete, it broke my heart in several pieces. If I can get him to a better place I am hoping that he will enjoy the more intimate friendship levels than he has now. Therefore he will look past his pain a bit better.

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