Agitated


Cereal, Bananas and Strawberry

This is one strange day. I am agitated and not really sure why. I have decided to dissect my attitude here on the white board. Then I can go through the day.

I woke up bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Fixed my coffee and played a quick game on Facebook. I am so addicted to Candy Crush Saga. It is a free game that you move through levels. You beat a variety of schemes and I just love the challenge. It was not a downloaded game. It is free to play. If anyone of you play, we can become friends and play it together.

I drank my coffee and was starving so I ate breakfast early. I don’t usually eat breakfast for a couple of hours after I wake up. Last night I had fried sausage and sauerkraut so I don’t know if that did something to push my hunger buttons or what, but my tummy was growling.

I ate and then for some unknown reason I laid back down and went to sleep. I knew I was planning on going to see Al so I don’t know why I did that. I think part of me feels left out.

Although I am no longer married to the mother-in-law’s family, I still carry the pain and hurt of losing someone I loved so much. Because of frictions within the walls of family members I am not at the viewing of this beautiful lady. Of course I would not with good conscience attend the funeral. I am no longer a part of the family because of divorce.

I think it just makes me so sad but maybe I should not feel this way. The divorce was many moons ago but she forever remained in my heart.

I went to see Al after I woke up from my cat nap. He was in a mood. The program that takes him out twice a week cancelled  due to winds and cold weather. He was all over me about he didn’t understand why they weren’t taking him. He was so confused about the temperatures. He was just plain disappointed. So he and I both were having a sad day.

I stayed with him while he ate lunch and had a cup of coffee. He is on his new pain medication which started at 4am this morning. He told me he wasn’t feeling quite as much pain. I thought this was good, but I wish once I would hear NO PAIN SIS. Maybe this is too much to ever hope for with this Parkinson’s Disease.

He kept drifting in and out of sleep. I think his body has to get used to this stronger medication. He told me his pain was so bad through the  night that it ended up making his stomach hurt real bad. He said he was a wake a lot and kept asking the nurse if it was 4am so he could have his new patch for pain. I felt bad for him.

I personally don’t ever remember me having so much pain I vomited, but then again the doctor’s say PD pain is stronger than any medication on the market.

After leaving him from my visit I stopped at the grocery store. I swear I went into shock. I could literally see the jump in prices of regular things I buy higher this week than last time I went to the store.

What are we people supposed to do about food? If you buy organic and good foods they are double in prices. A package of hamburger was almost $4.00. A roast was over $10.00. Forget eating high on the hog and eating a steak. It is no longer in my food budget. A can of salmon was $3.50. I had started giving up red meat around Thanksgiving and I guess this is a good thing.

A jar of my peanut butter was $3.79. Obviously, I wasn’t sure what to buy. I scanned for sale items only. I felt like I came home with nothing for $50.00

After I returned home and unpacked my empty bags. I went through the mail. I then decided to call my old Part D insurance company to see if I was going to receive my refund.

They owe me a whopping $34.00 for a payment I made in Dec. 2012. I have yet to receive it. I have called once per month. Today they told me it is being processed and will take 60-90 days to receive it.

I blew my stack and I am sure she could see my smoke. I asked her,” Um, the next time I have a bill due from a business can I tell them I will send it out in the next 60-90 days? Do you think they would accept that?”

She said, “They would get very upset.”

I said, “Well now you know how I feel. You are keeping my money for a service you did not perform. I will call my lawyer and I will make a complaint in the New York Times paper. I want my money”.

She told me to hang on. tick-tick tick-tick. She came back with, ” We are going to try to send it out in one week. Write this reference number down per the conversation. If you do not get your refund call back and give the number”.

I thanked her for her help and hung up. Now it is 4pm and I am exhausted. I don’t even want to write any short stories or poetry or my Daily Prompts. Maybe I will feel better later on and change my mind.

I just finished off a bowl of Special-K Strawberries and Chocolate cereal and a small cup of egg drop soup. Now I have messed up my eating schedule. I  have to take more diabetic medication at 6pm and I won’t be hungry.  Oh well, I think I will hold off until 7pm and maybe have some eggs and toast for supper with a couple of Turkey links, oh and of course my cup of coffee.

Well I am done dissecting. I guess I feel a sense of loss and frustration today. I think this feeling allows me to go to the couch put my feet up and cover my with my blanket and watch TV. Talk later.

35 thoughts on “Agitated

  1. I can identify with your frustration. Peace be unto you! It helps me when I set the “reset” button with praise music, a short devotional and prayer. It gives me a fresh start. I hope it works for you.

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  2. Prop up the feet watch the tele and then when mind is calm, thank God for your day- it may not have been ideal and the frustration I could feel through the writing but you woke up, breathing, were able to eat, had funds to spend at market, got to see your brother, etc. so many blessings and such small frustration my friend. praise God for it and he will continue to supply your needs.
    btw love candy crush I am stuck on level 35 but I shall prevail…I don’t buy the powerups etc.

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  3. Tomorrow will be better. I know what you mean about the price of groceries. I have found that if I want to buy meat the best time is early in the morning. They mark down all the meat that is getting close to the sell buy date and if you are early you can get it before it gets picked over. I hope Al does better with his new meds.

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    • I think of that often. I really need to get out of these four walls, open the windows and smell the fresh air. it really is a natural healer. maybe this weekend according to the weather man. Thanks for understanding me Marilyn

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  4. *hugs* don’t worry I have days like that too where you feel good and something just turns it into the sads. Poor al, glad he’s getting some pain relief. As for the death in the no longer in laws. Do you know where she will be buried? I ask so that you can visit after the funeral to make your peace with her and explain. Though I’m sure she knows it always helps to just be in the presence and explain. I’m sure she understands. 🙂 don’t be too hard on yourself. As for the groceries, unfortunately it seems to be the case where the prices do go up almost overnight.

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  5. I have always seen US as cheap for food … and same in UK, but when I moved home I notice that Sweden give good value, but prices raises everywhere and still they through away food – over productions and to keep the prices stable. Glad you felt a bit better in the evening and I hope you had a better day today. I have been out taking photo and waving to OUR KING today. Very handsome man, but a bit too short. *smile

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  6. I’m glad today has been better for you. I know what you mean about the groceries. I used to by a particular brand of organic carrot juice. A big bottle was $4.99. Then suddenly it was $5.99. I don’t know if you can do this in the US, but here we can do price matching in certain grocery chains. We can take the flyers from other stores and if their prices are lower the store gives them to us at that price. Sometimes I save several dollars that way and I don’t have to travel from one store to another. I just take the flyers. Last week my grocery bill was too high because my flyers weren’t delivered on Thursday as they are supposed to be. On Sunday the company that distributes them called me to see if I had got them. I said no and they said they would look into it. Monday I got my flyers. So tonight after prayer meeting I went to my regular store (which is open until 11:00) to get some of the sale things, but unfortunately they didn’t have most of them in stock. The strawberries were advertised in one store at $2.00 for 2 1-quart boxes. They are often $2.98 or more. Unfortunately theirs did not look good, so I didn’t buy them. Avocados were $2.00 per bag of 5. They are usually $2.98 – 3.98. Unfortunately they only had 2 bags of 3 organic avocados at $3.98. I spoke to one of the staff and he offered them to me for 1/2 price! Seedless green grapes were advertised in one flyer for 95 cents/pound. They can be up to $3.98, but they didn’t have any in stock. So I missed some good deals this week. They did have my brand of yogurt for $1.97 for the large container (normally $2.97) so I got 3 of them. I use about 2/week. I don’t buy much meat – usually just 2 fresh salmon filets every week at a Portuguese deli for between $5.00 and $6.00. They usually do me for 3 meals.

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    • I think I saw an ad for Walmart that does the flyer thing. I just noticed it this weekend. I may have to start trying this. Groceries are just outrageous and it seems that food comes in smaller containers and some is off brand just to get an older price

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