A Bit of Bad News and a Small Blessing From God


Wheelchair seating in a theater (i.e. giving a...

I just received a call from where Al is staying. I didn’t really know whether to cry or just do what I usually do, go numb.

We all go through things in life for sure. Some we know are going to happen down the road, but we play with the idea and then when the road stops, we are blown apart.

Can we really plan on how we are going to react to scenarios that come across our paths?

I had been expecting this call, but I guess not so soon. Al has been in therapy for one week for wheelchair training. The key to the pot of gold is to have him get from a chair or bed to a wheelchair all by himself.

The week went fast and the results were not so good. They tell me that Al’s Parkinson’s Disease is just progressing too quick. He is very stiff and slower than the world’s slowest snail.

I know what they are saying, I just don’t want to face the ugly mask. I tried lifting Al’s leg once a week ago and it felt like it had rigimortis. I know that sounds awful but that is what it reminded me of.

They said there is nothing else they can do to help stop this disease. He is about 85% wheelchair bound now. When he tries to walk he stumbles or falls. I guess I have to take the numbing gel off and realize he won’t walk much longer.

I know to some of you walking a distance of a yard is good, but to me it is so much like watching your child take his or hers first steps in life. I want him to walk all the time. I am not ready to accept this.

My biggest anger comes from the fact he will be 58 in May. 58 and confined to a wheelchair before 59. I know it could be worse. There are other people who have life much rougher.

But please, understand this is my baby brother. He is all I have left in the world a part from my own children. I guess I mean to say he is all I have left from my own original family. The Lord helped Al today. Al also found out the news that therapy was over. As soon as he was given notice of no more therapy, God stepped in and made the phone ring at the facility.

The gentleman that usually goes out on Wednesdays to the day program and a small outing was ill. Did Al want to go in his place? The facility called me to see if it was alright. I asked, ” Did you ask Al yet?”

“Yes, and he said yes”, they replied.

“Then give him what he wants. Let him go! Let him forget this for just a little while longer” I said.

Thank-you God for doing the little things. Others may have not noticed, but I did Lord.

73 thoughts on “A Bit of Bad News and a Small Blessing From God

  1. One step at a time, Terry. God is still in control. We keep praying for your brother. I have three sibs, and believe me, I know what it is to love them, as you do yours. I pray for total healing, and renewed strength for you, and your loved ones. Keep the faith. God is just around the corner. Blessings.

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  2. You can only compare Al to Al. It must be terrible to watch as movement is taken away bit by bit. Do whatever YOU need to do to cope with this. There are no rules or instructions.
    Take care of yourself.

    Cheryl

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  3. Terry my heart goes out to you. I know just how difficult this is and unless you have been there you can’t really understand the pain and the mixture of emotions. My prayers and thoughts are with you both.

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  4. Thank you Lord for the little things that are so big. Amen β™₯β™₯β™₯ As always He is watching out for you and your baby brother, and He understands and guides those things around that can seem so insignificant at times. I do hopr you have a good night’s rest, Terry. Take careβ™₯β™₯β™₯

    Sent from Samsung Mobile

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  5. Will this latest news about being for the most part in a wheelchair have any effect on him going home. Is your house going to be okay for him to easily get around in it? And what about you still for the most part responsible for his care at times when the other helpers aren’t around…Is it going to be okay? Diane

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      • I thought it had narrowed down to that but then I was trying to remember if there was another choice….a group home.. You’re right …if you don’t have a choice you don’t I know you love Al dearly and want only the best for him. I hope all the renos necessary get done to make things as easy as possible…Diane

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      • there is a chance he can go to a group home but everything has to be done in order. first he will have to come home, it seems strange to me but it’s they system

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  6. I’m sorry Terry. I know how deeply you love your brother, and I’m sure Al knows too. Part of Parkinson’s is dementia, as well as the physical onslaught to the body, and until my mother had dementia, I always thought dementia was a terrible thing. But when my mother had dementia, the Lord revealed to me what a blessing it was, because she never understood that she couldn’t walk. In her mind, she was still capable of walking and driving and doing all that she used to do. Whenever she would talk about getting her car, I wouldn’t argue with her, because that would just upset her. Instead, I let her talk, because I knew she wasn’t going to get up and drive, and if it made her feel good to talk about doing it, what did it hurt?

    When she would talk about getting up and walking, that was a little harder, but I would just encourage her to wait to get up until she felt a little better. It is so hard for family to watch their loved ones deteriorate, but the blessing is that maybe Al won’t realize that therapy was discontinued because he won’t get better. Maybe, like my mother, he will just be relieved not to have to go there every day and be confronted with the fact that he can’t do the things he’s being asked to do. While it’s hard on you, maybe, this is a blessing for Al, and if you treat it like that, he may see it that way too. I learned that Mom reacted to things depending on how my sister and I reacted. If we didn’t let her know how bad it was, she didn’t worry.

    I’ll be praying that the Lord gives you wisdom for how to handle this with Al, and perhaps, He can show you how to enjoy the time that you have left with Al. I am so grateful for the time the Lord gave me with my mom, and I learned to see the blessings in her dementia. She used to worry about what others thought of her, but as the dementia progressed, she didn’t worry about that anymore, and she was able to relax for the first time in her life. Maybe it sounds crazy, but it blessed me to see my mom like that, without all of the worries and insecurities that used to bind her.

    Many blessings and much love to you, my friend, and I pray this was helpful.

    Love,
    Cheryl

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    • you have a way of helping me to see things in a different light. Instead of looking at this through my eyes, I need to look at it through what Al sees. Thank you so much Cheryl. I always love it when you stop by and chat with me. God bless and big hugs

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  7. Pingback: Tag! I’m It! And Now You Too! | The Ranting Papizilla

  8. Terry I am crying right along with you – my prayers will continue with you and Al, may both of you feel His loving embrace at this time and bring peace to your heart. I know it is difficult for you right now but remember we are all here to support to you and keep you lifted up, you and Al are not alone. Hugs….

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  9. You are such an amazingly strong person who handles everything with dignity. You and Al are in my prayers, I just hope they find something for him soon. I don’t know what, but I will pray for it anyways πŸ™‚

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    • the prayer now is for the level of care paper work to be finished. it is laying in a pile with other applicants. Let’s pray to have Al’s stand out to their eyes!

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