The Gift and The Miracle


I know that it is very important to find the little things in life that are good. I also realize that there are days that I find this difficult to do. I would almost say out loud that I have a mild case of depression.

I hate the taste of those words  on my tongue when I say that but I miss my brother and I think I miss the life I once had. Although looking back the things that made me so happy are no longer here. My Dad and Mom and my family.

Sometimes I wonder why I am so different from others. While others are out drinking on Friday and Saturday nights, I am home. While others have so many dates I have none. So I look very hard for those small miracles and gifts from God. When I find them it can actually make an entire difference in my day.

I had one particular gift last week. As you all know my children’s Grandma passed a way. I was very saddened by her loss and so was surprised when I opened the door to let my family in, there was a bouquet of flowers from the funeral for me.grandma's flowers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is so nice to have a piece of the funeral here with me to watch over and water each day. I love them.

Then on last Wednesday I had to have my three-month A-1-C test done for my Diabetes. I will go back this Wednesday for the results. They have never called me in between these two visits, but this time they called Thursday morning.

I was told that I needed to come back in on Friday and have one of the test redone. The doctor was concerned about my Potassium levels. They explained how normal levels were between 3.4 and 4.3. My level was 5.7.

I was instantly scared. I didn’t know much about Potassium except that bananas were full of them. To eat more than one banana a day is not a good thing. I began an internet search trying to discover what I had done to my eating habits that had made this raise so high.

What I learned was little. The search didn’t really say too much on foods. The ones that it did mention the P word I didn’t eat. I was I would say doing what I usually do. Leaning on me for answers instead of God.

Years ago I used to suffer bad Panic Attacks. It was so awful. I think people thought I was a nut case. I think I even believed them too. With the help of a Christian counselor I was able to overcome the worst of it. Now when I am afraid or very tired a Panic Attack can show its ugly teeth.

The nurse who drew my blood on Friday morning sort of laughed at me because when I went in to have the second draw the first words out of my mouth were,” Am I going to die?” She laughed and said no. She told me,” Ever since you have started coming here your P levels have always been on the high side. The doctor believes this may just be a part of your genes. Your levels are always at number 5.”

I got the blood draw but sweated it out all weekend long. You have to understand that the one sentence that stuck in my head during my research was death. The articles I read said that if your P levels go above 6 it can cause your heart to go nuts and cause a heart attack. Understand here that my worst fear is dying before my brother. I don’t know how I could rest peacefully knowing that he needs me and I am not here for him. So all weekend I smiled when I was around others but inside I was a wreck.

Finally last night I turned to God. I was sitting on my bed. It was around midnight. I was going through my Bible and the thought hit me out of nowhere. Pray to me for what you need.

I very seldom pray for myself. I will pray for my blogger friends who are in need. I pray for my brother constantly. I pray for my children and anyone but myself. I turned my TV off and sat in bed silent for a few minutes thinking, should I really pray for me? Isn’t that selfish?

I decided to go forward with it and so in darkness and silence I prayed for God to heal me of this P level. This morning about 9am the phone rang. I saw on the caller ID that it was the doctor’s office. I picked it up and this was the conversation.

Me,”Hello”

Nurse, ” Good morning. Is this Terry?”

Me, “Yes

Nurse,” I have your lab results. You are fine. I don’t know what happened last week with your test results but this test showed normal levels. They were 4.3. You are going to be fine.”

Me, ” Oh thank-you Jesus. You don’t know how I have worried about this all weekend. I am so relieved. Thank-you so much for calling. Thank-you for the good news.”

Nurse,” You are welcome. See you on Wednesday. Bye.”

I hung up the phone and looked at the skies and said to myself, Thank-you Jesus. You are the one who told me to pray to you. I did as you asked and you answered.

61 thoughts on “The Gift and The Miracle

  1. What a fantastic result.

    It is not selfish to pray for yourself, though when I prayed for little Anthony I did realise that asking for yourself is hard. Even concern for yourself is based in concern for Al though,

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  2. This is actually a pretty common problem and Dr. should explain it to people, one thing is that when blood is drawn too slowly or sits a bit too long before it is tested, it makes the potassium level read high. I have had this happen and so has my husband, and know many people who have. It is scary though, as a nurse the first time it happened to me I worried until I got the results of the next test. God bless you Terry!

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    • it is nice to know this information. I still want to praise God for his part in my prayer. I don’t like it that this is a common problem. I worried myself sick when if I only knew it was so common. Thanks for helping me to understand Loopy!

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      • You are most welcome my friend, I remember how worried that I was and how worried I was about my husband because he was having chest pains and on nitro. Drs should explain this!

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      • you are so right, this is why I have always believed the doctors may have the extra years of college but it is the nurse who knows most of everything!

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  3. So happy for you and for that the tests come out good …. wonderful news, but it’s all down to you .. you look after yourself with what you eat. Fantastic news. it was the same with me during my treatments that my blood tests was all over the place for any reasons, You have been working hard with getting your home ready for Al. So happy for you.

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    • I have worked hard at watching what I eat and fixing the house. I have lost more weight and the house is ready for Al. The only thing missing is the hospital bed, which I will get once I know his return date and the other is Al!!!! Thanks for a great comment Viveka!

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      • Weight lost is great to keep the diabetes, I think you are doing a fantastic job with your self and for Al, but don’t over do it … please don’t be so upset and sad, when Al isn’t happy and not feeling well everyday. Promise. Now you have distance to it .. but when he are back with you and you have to face it every day.

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  4. I love that you received one of the flower arrangements from your former mother-in-law’s funeral. What a gift that was during a time when perhaps receiving gifts hasn’t been a common occurrence in your day-to-day life. I think it’s so important to celebrate every victory that comes our way. if we wait for the big celebrations – we’ll be waiting far too long.

    And now I offer some encouragement to you – actually, I’m offering a medal of honor to you Terry – I declare you to be a Hero. Heroes are ordinary people, doing the ordinary right thing, at an extraordinary time. That’s you in a nutshell. Your task is not an easy one – and during a time of stress when you were concerned about your health, your concern centered around your brother’s well-being. “My worst fear is dying before my brother. I don’t know how I could rest peacefully, knowing that he needs me and I am not here for him.”

    You exemplify selfless dedication by a true Hero.

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  5. This is a wonderful post but also a very sad one too. Sad that you think you are not worthy enough to pray for yourself, sad that you think it selfish to pray for yourself. For only you and our Father in Heaven can truly know what you need and if you ask with a sincere heart I believe he always answers our prayers. You are a daughter of your Father in Heaven and he will listen to you when you pray for yourself to him. If as you say you do, you pray for others then he will know that you have not come to him light heartedly asking for help for yourself. I used to think I could only pray to God at special times for special reasons and never for myself however, now I know that I can pray to him WHENEVER I need him for whatever I need him for, be it myself or others. He may not answer the way we want but he will always answer 🙂 *hugs*

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    • I always thought,,,,,,,there is someone much worse off than I, so save yourself for later…………….I see what you are saying though. Thank you for your wonderful comment

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      • There is quite probably someone much worse off than you but you should still never forget yourself 😀 However, that being said, if you ever need a prayer or thought sending up I shall be happy to oblige 🙂

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  6. I’ve always heard the expression “Don’t borrow troubles”…and I say that at times when I get overwhelmed…Sometimes our minds just go immediately to the worse scenerios…
    Not a good thing!…Try to think more positive Terry…I know it will be good for you!

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  7. Hi T,
    I’m back again if you recognize my eye over there. I have you bookmarked due to my vision issues and boatload of health problems and I know all about lost lives. I keep coming back to your site… Not all the time due to the above, but when I go through my bookmarks to check up on people and I see you, then here I am. Please take this as a compliment (fingers crossed). I’m not a Christian and haven’t done well with the uber-religious online (or in real life!), but what you write is so honest and non-preachy that It really touches me and doesn’t bother me one bit. I am Jewish (I said it!), but I wish we could all just be open and accept each other since most of us have more in common than not. I just felt compelled to let you know that your writing is quite special.

    Keep writing from your heart and I’ll keep reading what my eyes can! Another beautiful (yet sad and thoughtful) post. So glad you are OK and that you have your faith…

    A ❤

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    • thank you so much for sharing a part of your life with me. Of course I recognized the EYE. LOL. I wish I could write words in bigger print for you but I am thankful that at times you can read what I write. I have always felt a bond with you, so I am excited when I see your comments. I am always here for you, and you are in my prayers. As far as being Jewish I do not mind. We all want the same things in life. To be loved and cared about. To have health and safe havens. Thank you so much for your comment my dear friend. Big hugs

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      • Big hugs to you! So agree, but I just never get that same experience from the religious crowd, even on WordPress! I’d ask if their faith helped them accept their illness and they’d stop talking to me! So frustrating! I really wanted to know. I love that I’m in your prayers as I don’t do that for myself, either (and not too religious). Thank you! If I get that way, I’ll add you to mine! You’re on my mind, nonetheless.:-)

        A religious, Catholic woman was a nanny of sorts to my younger brothers (a real Mrs. Doubtfire, but Swiss!). When I got sick 12 yrs ago, she said she would pray for me. What do I care? Unless we come from the East, we are all children of Abraham as they say and those from the East can do their thing, too! Fine by me–I’m a liberal (another bad word). Lol. Well, maybe it really will change one day. Remember that we both have a copy of “Black Like Me”…

        Alisa x

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      • I like you for who you are and what you represent. I try very hard not to judge others. I am drawn to you by your words not your faith. Who are we to say which faith is right or wrong? No one will know until we pass on from here. Never be afraid to talk to me. I already like you!

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  8. Praise the Lord give Him the glory and the adoration Terry He truly worked a miracle for you !!
    Never be ashamed or think you are not worthy of asking Our wonderful creator for anything…does the Bible not say “ask and you shall receive” I will give you the desires of thy heart? Yes it does those are the words of our heavenly Father, we are His children He cares for and loves us will do anything for us if we just ask. He may not always give exactlyu what we want but he knows what we need He may not always give the answer or the gift in our time but in His time. Trust in Him always my friend and if you ever need personal prayer here is my email and my phone # just contact me and I will pray for and or with you …grammielen@gmail.com
    913-634-1738 anytime my friend anytime I am here for you. love and hugs (((xxx)))

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    • Len you are truly a good friend. You always notice the good things in me and our lives. For this I am very thankful. Great friends are hard to find, but God sent you in my direction. I am the one who is blessed. Hugs to you!!

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      • It is the Lords work and wonder my friend!! I am proud and honored to be your friend and speaking of such I cannot invite you on pet rescue maybe you could invite me to be ur fb frind from ur end then it might work. love and hugs (((xx)))

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  9. So happy for you that you received the flowers in remembrance of someone you loved. And I’m happy that your blood test is OK. Remember Hebrews 4:16 – God’s invitation for us to “come boldly before the throne to find grace to help in time of need”. You had a need and you obeyed the Lord’s command to come to Him and ask for His provision. And He answered. It is a beautiful relationship of trust between you and Him. When we realize how much He loves us, it only stands to reason that He wants us to have everything we need. And He wants us to trust Him enough to ask. God bless you, Terry.

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    • I don’t know why it is so hard to pray for me. I guess I always think God gave me a brain so I should use it. It is very easy for me to pray for others. After I saw he answered my prayer, I have loosened up a little and now maybe the next time I will pray for me again easier

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