Daily Prompt; Trading Places

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex for a day? What do you think life would be like?

I needed this prompt this morning. The past two nights I have had terrible, ugly nightmares. So this is very funny to me.

The first thing I would do is see what it is like to have that patch of hair growing under my nose. Does it tickle me as much as it does your tender lips when I kiss you.

I would throw those darn razors right out the bathroom window. No more razor burns. No more sleek-looking legs. Let the hair growth under my smelly man pits began to fester.

In the summer when I am hotter than crap, let me rip my shirt off and toss it over the arm of the couch like men do. Let me feel the breezes blowing gently in the hairs of my chest. Let my nipples rise to the feeling of freedom.

Let me walk in the front door from a hard day’s work and let me go to the fridge for that first thirst-quenching cold beer. Let me tell you how good it satisfies the pallet by letting out a large unruly burp.

Let me lay my head down on the couch and take a quick nap. The shower calling my name can wait a few minutes more, right? After my nap I could stand up and scratch my you know whats and then move slowly up to scratching my chest and then my head. If I sweated I may add an extra scratch to my butt.

The list that you hold out to me on my weekend off I would glance at it and tell you I will get to it when I have a chance. The first thing I would do is watch cartoons with the kids. Then I will show you how much I love you dear by going to the kitchen and frying up some taters, bacon and eggs.

Oh I will get to that splattered mess on the stove in just a few minutes. I have to run out to the garage for a minute. I promise I will be back just as soon as I check on something. But of course I forget about it and she ends up cleaning it up for me. Isn’t she a dear? I did pick the best when I popped that question.

All in all for one day I would live it up. I would drop the suit and tie for shirtless. I would get around to things when I want and when I go to bed at nights I would have the freedom to snore, burp and fart when ever I freakin feel like it.

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