Al Fell Again and Still I Was Not Called Right A Way

The Cleanest Floor You Will Ever See

I haven’t posted since earlier this morning for two reasons, maybe I should say three. 1. To give you all a break from my frequent posting. (I’m sorry, I can’t help myself. I guess I am a chatterbox.)

2. I did some remodeling in my living room and that took the bigger part of the day.

3. I received a phone call this morning from a nurse at Al‘s facility. This call has been on my mind all day. Let me tell you something, there is no rest on the weekends for the wicked. Except I am not wicked.

At 1am in the morning someone noticed Al was not in his bed. They went to his bathroom and he was on the floor. The report was that he was on hands and knees so they didn’t consider this a true fall. They said he was fine. She told me he had a small rug burn on him.

I am thinking small as in the small bruises that he received two weekends ago when he fell. Those bruises were the size of peaches. I kept fussing with myself whether to go in or not to see him. I was wrapped up in my home project and they told me he was fine.

I did not end up going but there is part of me that wishes I did. Tomorrow I will be in there for sure. The nurse told me that Al got rude with her. I hear this word quite often, rude. Al’s mood and personality has seemed to change these past weeks. He smarts off they say. He is rude I hear from them.

I called a good friend of mine who has a family member who has Parkinson’s farther along than even Al. I asked her if this could happen, the personality change. She said absolutely yes. Caused from PDD, Parkinson’s Disease and Dementia.

She said that he may have said it and then possible later he wouldn’t even remember it. I know different times I have scolded him for his rudeness and he starts crying immediately stating he never said anything like that at all. I back off because I have no proof one way or another.

The strange thing to me about the call is I don’t like being called 8 hours after the fact. I have told them repeatedly to call me as soon as they know he is stable. I don’t give a hoot if it is in the wee hours of the morning or not. I want to be notified. I want the choice to either go in or not to check it out. This is not the first time this has happened.

His last fall they told me almost 48 hours later. The other thing that bugs me is how in the world did he get a rug burn? The only rug or carpet in the whole building is in the hall. This has me puzzled if he was on his hands and knees. Did he fall and was trying to get up? Did he go head first like he usually does? But still, how did a burn come on him.

The nurse told me that he told her he wasn’t going to  use his call light anymore because he waits so long for staff to help him that he pees his pants, and he gets very embarrassed when he wets himself. The wetting himself is happening more and more often. I don’t think it has anything to do with Al holding it or not. I think it is the PD.

I have asked before about putting a Bed Alarm on his bed and his recliner. They declined my suggestion stating Al doesn’t want it. They think he will become agitated and cause more rudeness or attitude for them. I say get the alarms and use it. The loud noise may scare him enough and remind him to put the call light on. He does forget to use the light. This has been an ongoing issue for some time.

I asked his neurologist about it last week and he said Al doesn’t want to fall intentionally. His Dementia is causing him to forget. In Al’s mind he just assumes he can walk so he gets up and tries.

Monday morning first thing, I am calling Al’s doctor and telling him about the falls that are happening more and more. I am going to ask him to write a doctor’s order for bed alarms. I have no doubt he will do this for me and Al’s safety.

Why did they wait so long to let me know…………Sorry friends, I am still upset over this. Tomorrow a new day, a new challenge, and a promise of hope.

60 thoughts on “Al Fell Again and Still I Was Not Called Right A Way

  1. Do they place a fall mat beside Al’s bed when he goes to bed? They did this with my mother, and with many other residents, and if they do this with Al, maybe that’s where he got the carpet burn. Just a thought. I’m sorry they didn’t call you right away, because they should have. Tell them to make note on his chart that you are to be called within one hour of a fall. That should give them plenty of time to stabilize Al, and chart it and get to the phone. If it is noted in the chart, then perhaps they will remember it. I would also tell the DON and the ED that you want this done… perhaps put it in writing that they are to call you within the hour.

    I’ll keep you and Al in my prayers.



    • there is no mat beside his bed. I know which ones you are talking about. I will ask and I will put the request in writing also about his falls. Evidently telling them isn’t good enough. Thanks Cheryl for some more great advice! I am taking my camera in tomorrow to see the burn mark


  2. Don’t forget to get pics of his injuries. This place sounds brutal. You’re trained if your working in there to deal with people being “rude” these people are suffering, why are the staff taking things so seemingly personally? Yeash.


    • you know Buck, this gets me too. They must think that each day they are working with non ill patients to not expect things like rudeness. For heaven’s sake these people are old, sick, wanting to die, depressed, lonely and hurting emotionally and physically


  3. grrrrrrr… good suggestions all, I am not so sure you shouldn’t contact the state licensing board for these type of facilities and tell them our suspicions of abuse physical, and mental. If this is how they do with Al aKnowing he has a strong advocate in you how do you suppose those that have no one are being treated? I am pretty sure you can report anon,so there is no reprecussions to Al. seems with the chest bruising (I know the tremors) but still with that type of bruising and the falls and all it should be reported. Love, hugs and prayers~Len


      • Terry I found this on a site for Indiana can’t remmeber which state you live i but this I would think would be for all states just type in your then look for longterm care facilty licensing to get the info on reporting Any suspicion:~~. Report a reasonable suspicion of a crime against a long term care resident
        Federal law requires “covered individuals” to report a reasonable suspicion of a crime against a long term care resident to the ISDH and a local law enforcement entity. Covered individuals include an owner, operator, employee, manager, agent, or contractor of the facility. The included facilities include a nursing home, hospice, or intermediate care facility for individuals with intellectual disabilities (ICF-IID). The above link is to a page that provides information for long term care providers about the crime reporting requirements and how to report a reasonable suspicion of a crime against a resident. A Reporting a crime form is provided for individuals to report suspected crimes to the ISDH.


  4. *big giant bear hugs* don’t worry about rambling. You are letting your thoughts out and its better than holding them in. I am curious to know how does someone get rug burn when there are no rugs? That is very odd.


  5. There are more people than you know praying for you and Al’s situation. God’s grace is all that separates any of us from adversity. Peace be unto you and Al as you continue your arduous journey!


  6. Of course he’s rude — not only does he have a disabling condition for which a hallmark symptom is periodic agitation and belligerence, but he doesn’t like those people! They’re mean to him. I’d be rude too.
    Sheesh, Terry, my heart and prayers go out to you and Al. How much longer does he have to be there in order to qualify for the Day Program?


  7. As an ex care assistant I find this to be intolerable. A care assistant can do no more than report the incident and write it down in Al’s care plan, but a nurse can – and should – notify you immediately if that is what you’ve requested.

    Obviously they understand very little about PD and dementia; it’s not their place to complain to you; rather they should be asking themselves what they can do to improve Al’s attitude towards them. I used to look after residents that became aggressive or as nervous as a skittish horse, but if you find a way to get through to them they look forward to a specific carer coming to see them.

    Also, why isn’t Al wearing continence pads if his bladder is erratic? I think you should ask these questions.


    • I have learned through the years that the way I talk, my tone and approach is what wins him over. They talk to him like a normal person asking direct questions which he doesn’t understand and then gets embarrassed and upset. the briefs were worn here at home because of constant dribbling that has now turned into more accidents. It is for his protection and his pride to not wear wet clothes. He can’t make it to the bathroom in time. It is hard for me to understand but evidently there is no control on holding his urine. He realizes he has to go but it is too late


      • Are the home providing him with these briefs? If so then perhaps they ought to consider finding stronger ones?

        Definitely have a word as to how they speak to Al; there’s a fine line between making conversation easy for him and being condescending, but any good carer will know instinctively how to put him at ease.

        As for the falls: when one of residents fell whilst alone in the toilet for the first time, her daughter (who was due to visit that evening) was notified as soon as she arrived. I would really come down on the home about this, especially as the carpet burn has no explanation.

        Much love to you Terry xxx


      • the briefs are generic but maybe I can see if they have stronger ones. good idea. they will never make me believe that Al didn’t fall in the bathroom no matter what they say. There is nothing on the floor Al would crawl out of his wheelchair to get, especially in the bathroom


    • not if I want him to be able to attend the Adult Day Program. I think this program will benefit him greatly. I am hoping the wait is worth it. The office that holds his file for this waiver has put an emergency rush on it so he can get out of the facility


      • the first part has been approved. we are now heading quickly to the finish line. Now that I know more about what is going on if Al gets to the place he can no longer attend the Day Program I will call Hospice


  8. I am terribly sorry for this to have happened to you, I can feel tears swelling in my eyes. I use to work in an aged care facility and I can not say how many times other workers would ignore things that happened to the residents for example finding someone on their hands and knees, they would always say ‘oh its not a fall’ it use to annoy me so much that I would then go and assess the resident and 8 times out of 10 they had a skin tear or a bruise or would wince when I touched them where they had fallen. I am so sorry that some nurses seem to have lost their empathy and their care of duty. I hope this doesn’t happen again.


    • he has a really long rug burn starting at the corner of his eye and it runs up to the upper edge of his forehead. I am not quite sure how he got a rug burn on a tiled floor. I want them to call me immediately. I understand to a point about sleeping hours and waking me up, but I can’t guarantee his future, so I always want to be notified at all times.


  9. Terry, it’s good for you to get it out. I worked in the long term care industry for about 15 years, and while sometimes it is their fault, and it is good to err on the side of caution, many times it is not. The staffing is always an issue. Be there for him when you can and develop good relationships with the care staff. I believe they really try. My prayers are with you and Al.


  10. Phone numbers for you:
    Again, the LTC Ombudsman main number: 800-622-4484
    Certification and Licensing: 317-233-7022
    Adult Protective Services: 317-232-0135
    Office on Aging: 317-232-7123

    And I just have to say again, employees of a long-term care (LTC) facility who call residents rude, do not understand the clientele whose care has been entrusted to them. To echo the phrase from the movie Network, here’s the attitude you can stand by for yourself: “We’re as mad as hell, and we’re not going to take this anymore.”


    • I love that remark!!!!!!! He is in the hospital now so I am waiting to see what happens. i have written these numbers down and I do appreciate what you are doing for him and me. He does have a rug burn on his eye to his forehead from his last fall


  11. my mum has her alarm around her neck … like a necklace, don’t they have something like that.
    Because what happens if he will fall in the bathroom again. Very upsetting to read that he had to lay there for hours and pee .. himself. If he has it around his neck it will be with him everywhere in home.
    I can understand that they didn’t call you straight away .. that wouldn’t happen over here neither. They sort the problem out and call in the morning, because to make you upset in the middle of the night .. and your then not able to sleep. If there had happen something serious from the whole accident they would have called, I’m sure .. but in my book they did the right thing to phone in the morning, he hadn’t come to any mayor harm. Can you image what state you would have been in the middle of the night. You got a lot of help here .. with phone numbers … use them .. ask questions and ask for help.


  12. Many diseases can lead to changed in personalty, such as Alzheimer’s. These people should be trained to understand this and I believe they are. I am wondering if this comes down to basic economics, like so much in the US. My p. grandfather, who got Alzheimer’s in his 80s, had owned a successful business and had long-term care insurance and went to the Ritz-Carlton of assisted living centers w/an Alzheimer’s wing. We never dealt with any of this and the staff were very good. I’ve never lived anywhere that nice! The other side of my family who dealt with Medicaid nursing homes–well, that was a different story. One shouldn’t have to be wealthy to be treated like a human being and with dignity! Feeling so much for Al…


  13. It’s obvious that he frequently falls. I would think that they would be doing everything they could to prevent the incidents. I am praying that God gives you favor and Al’s return to your home will be without delay! I am also praying that God gives you the right words to say and the wise steps to take. Thank God for the community of friends who have already armed you with good information and contact telephone numbers! May God be your strength; He’s looking out for you!


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