Inside The Marble


Glass marbles

Standing inside the glass

Ribbons of color blind me

I place my hands against

Trying to push my way out

But I feel trapped

Each way I look

Is all the same

The same feel

The same touch

The same emotion

Running through my soul

Pressed hard against

With my head leaning in

But I see no way out

No softness calling

To me I will

Remain here

For the rest of

My days waiting

For an exit

To run through.

Terry Shepherd

04/11/2013

38 thoughts on “Inside The Marble

  1. When I read this I was feeling a little sad, and wondered what exactly your train of thoughts were when you wrote it (I’m sure Al entered in there somewhere). Then I read Alastair’s comment and laughed out loud! Precious lady, still keeping you and Al in my thoughts and prayers.

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      • It is hard to overcome that helpless feeling in this circumstance — I feel for you and pray for peace for you. When this feeling came over me all I could do was be there for him and hope he knew I would have given up anything and everything to help him. There is nothing you can do about what you can’t help — in the long run the most important thing is for Al to know you are there for him.

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      • some days I can accept that one day he will not be here, and then other days I fight and cling to everything I can. thanks for being so understanding my friend

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  2. Thanks for posting that Terry, that was sad … but perfect for me – it describes exactly how I’m feeling right now. I’m so sorry I’ve not been in touch lately but I’ve had two shock bereavements (the last one we were expecting but it went from weeks to days – to less than an hour – to I MISSED IT in less than a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So in that way it was a shock. We buried my uncle John 2 weeks ago and when we were at the funeral my dad said in a loud voice “Wally’ll be next, in a week or so!” I wanted to HIT HIM! Especially as he was having a good day – he had alzheimer’s but remembered John (who was his brother-in-law and friend), and remembered my nan … he actually asked to go to the funeral with us!!!!!!!!!!! That day, we got a video of him whistling and nan thought hte doctors were wrong … 2 weeks later he went peacefully but sadly he wasn’t asleep. I believe you can plan what circumstances you go in (if you want to be alone) and this seemed planned from his part. He was with mum and nan, then I came seconds later (I had always said I wouldn’t see him but I’m glad I did – THEN). Uncle Richard found out when he was out (dad stopped and told him, against our wishes) and Julia turned about 20 minutes later. She had been on her way with my nephew and had to cancel because he’d already gone. So I’ve kind of gone into myself and barely been on the internet. I’m struggling right now – then you wrote that poem … I feel as though I’m inside that marble! Your poems are amazing – you should get them published. Better go … I lit a candle for Al the other day and I’ll do it again when Igo to the Cathedral next week. I always go there for comfort. Sorry for a long note – all I wanted to do was explain why that is perfect for me!!!!! – and that its all in a block. My hand isn’t working properly (probably cold and pain together.

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    • Hi my dear friend. What a tragic few days you have been through. It is strange how the minutes turn into hours and life passes you on the outside as if nothing has happened isn’t it? I am so sorry for your losses. For me I have days where I feel I am inside the marble. I see everything clearly but I can make no moves. I feel trapped. There are days I feel like I am so cared about and there are others when I feel totally alone. Decisions I have no answers for and questions I can not answer. I think part of my problem is this crazy cloudy weather. Chilly temps and no sun play havoc on my mood. It has been days since I saw sun. You take care and come back when you feel better. big hugs

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      • So sad to hear… writing is great therapy and a healthy way to vent your frustration. Having the insight that you have in the beautiful metaphor that you have written says a lot about how you understand him and are there for him. He is very blessed to have you.

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      • thank you so much my friend. I pray for peace for my brother and for me I carry hope for a brighter day with less clouds and a glimpse of a sun hiding behind the layers of gloom. It seems the weather can penetrate the layers of our or at least my mood. Sometimes I wish I had never left Florida

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  3. To lost the marbles … feels so good – doesn’t it … understand your frustration and you hopeless … can understand your anger .. can understand your worries …. and your fight.

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