Today’s Visit With Al

crying emoticone

If fear wasn’t so strong

I think I would take off

For a little trip

On an island somewhere

All alone away from all

The visit with Al

Was too much to bear

His pain was at an all

Time high his cries

Never stopped and it

Was breaking my heart

I was told he has

Lost seven pounds this week

And  this caused

My heart to race

And it felt like it skipped beats

I helped him all I could

But I ended up doing no good

I cried with him for

The first time today

Our hearts were joined

In searing pain holding

Onto life with trembling hope

I helped him to lie down

After lunch and then the potty

His crying never stopped

As he told me words

That I understood

Please Terry take me home

I want to be with you

I choked and trembled

As he shook my roots of strength

I sat down on the bed

Beside him and grabbed

His hands placing them in mine

I told him that I promised

I was working as fast as I can

That I would have him back

Where he belonged

Then he looked at me one more time

And I could barely hear

The words he strained to tell me

Please don’t let me die in here………….

Terry Shepherd


66 thoughts on “Today’s Visit With Al

  1. I know that I, and most likely everyone who follows your Blog, will disagree with your statement that said “I helped him all I could but I ended up doing no good.” Terry – you have done much, and no one else could have done better. I sincerely believe that your brother is of the opinion that you have been a wonderful sister and advocate for him. Let that belief go from your head, and into your heart, so that you can have peace that you have helped your brother immensely.


    • I couldn’t stop the tears Cheryl. I just had to stand by and do nothing……………I understand what you are saying though. ONce again I knew he didn’t want me to go home without him so I know even though he can’t express it in words much he does love me


  2. Oh Lord, please ease Al’s pain some, and Terry’s too! Give her strength Lord, let her see she is doing more than she thinks that she is. Let her see what testament to love she is.


  3. Terry, maybe you can help him as such just now … be you’re there with him and that is all you can do – and I know he feel safe and comforter when you’re beside him. You did a lot more than “doing no good” – such a tough situation. This with him losing 7 pound – they have get some nutrition into him. Is he drinking ??? – because otherwise .. it could be come dangerous. My heart and my soul goes out to you, Terry … I wouldn’t for anything to be in your seat. Hopefully you will get a good nights sleep.


    • I can’t figure out why he lost so much weight so quickly. I thought once this week when I was pushing him in his wheel chair he felt lighter. I will be watching for next weeks weight results for sure. I feel so helpless when I can’t fix his pain


      • No, you can fix his pain .. but you are there for his soul.
        Keep an eye on his weight and make sure that he drinks properly.


      • I know he has missed one or two dinner meals but I wonder if he is missing more that I don’t know of. that place never tells me if he misses a meal. Al does himself. I am going to ask them to weigh him in a few days. thanks Vivi


    • it would be wonderful Charles but at this stage of his disease the only thing that will make him better is God coming to get him. I hate saying this but in my heart I know it is true


  4. Oh, Terry, I am so sorry the visit with Al was so hard on you. If bringing him home is what you truly want, I hope it happens soon. Praying for you both.


  5. Breaks my heart…. Having been in your shoes in some respects…. mine was the evils of cancer. Helped take 3 so far in my life home to pass the time they had left… I felt your words and know both your wish that you could flee and the loyalty in your heart that would never let you. Hugs.


  6. I couldn’t help the thoughts, and time that you put into this post, I couldn’t help but share this with my gmail friends with credit going back to you of course. I am very greatful that you added a link to my post. But I also have to say that the words from this poem have a true meaning and very heart felt.


  7. Terry, I am crying with you,you can lean on my shoulder any time and get a tight hug and somfort as much as I can give you. Let us pray that it will work the right way! I am with you !


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