My Brother’s LIfe Journey Chapter 2


Trains and tracks HDR

Al and I were introduced to our step-grandparents and these were very good times of our lives. Our Granddaddy as we called them lived in town in a big white cement brick house. It seemed like it took up the whole block.

It had a wrap a round porch and I can remember sitting out there with Granddad many afternoons when he was home. He was a furnace man. He installed new furnaces for customers and many nights during the winter he had to go out late at nigh to fix some person’s heat.

Granddaddy had floppy ears and big brown droopy eyes. Al and I would crawl on his lap and he would always let us without hesitation. He talked to us and played with us. It brings me smiles now just thinking about him.

I remember seeing Al happy too. Grandma and Granddaddy took great care of us and spoiled us with lots of good food. I remember one time I waited on a white rickety square stool and watched my Grandma making a Black Raspberry pie. She took the left over crust and rolled cinnamon and sugar in it and baked them right along with the pie.

I couldn’t wait to eat a slice of that pie. Even when it came out of the oven I could barely sit still waiting for my own piece. I remember Al was four and I was five now. Waiting for a piece of pie with ice-cream on top was pretty hard to do.

When I finally bit into the first piece I can still remember starting to cry as I told Grandma that there were bones in it. You should have seen her. Her belly shook as she laughed so hard. She told me those were seeds and not bones. That pie still remains my favorite today.

We lived within the same block that they did. We lived in an even bigger house than Grandma and Granddaddy. I remember being scared every night when I went to bed. There were four bedrooms upstairs. I was the only one who slept up there. Al slept downstairs as he needed more watching over than I did, and yet I was the biggest baby of the two of us.

I laid up there many nights afraid of the trees casting shadows on the walls. I dreamed of people being in my room. I seemed to always be afraid of the night and darkness. The only thing that I really recall that was funny about that house is watching Dad use one of those old push style mowers. They were hard to work and he sweated a lot when he sat beside me on the porch steps to rest. One particular day when he and I were talking after he mowed a big old nasty bird pooped on my dad’s bare back.

I know that I laughed and laughed so hard. Dad said some kind of cuss word that I didn’t recognize but I didn’t care. I was sitting with my Daddy, just him and me. I idolized my Daddy. He was God to me and never did anything wrong.

The other thing I recall is sitting in that small back bathroom that was behind the kitchen. Mom always thought sturdy. She had bought me black and white saddle shoes. I hated them with a passion. So when I was using the potty I would swing my feet back and forth. As soon as my shoes came into target range, I would spit on them. I told my step-mom about it when I grew up and she laughed with me.

Al always struggled walking. He had skinny little legs. He didn’t run and play too much. He liked laying on the floor and lining up those little hot wheel cars. For a few years Al wore Buster Brown shoes for toddlers. Mom always told me they helped his balance. I thought they were silly because he wasn’t a baby anymore. He needed red Keds like I had on.

I tried to teach Al how to use the hoola hoop but he never did get the hang of it. Al and I played a lot together. There was always some type of bond that I didn’t have a name for but it was like we understood each other.

I began to realize at a young age that I didn’t need as much help as Al. I could do more on my own, so I became his big sister and pulled him in our big red wagon. I pedaled our big trike and Al stood on the back so he could ride too.

Al cried every time he had to have a hair cut. In fact cried isn’t an accurate word. Scream is more like it. I don’t know today what the connection was but when he saw and heard the clippers he screamed bloody murder. I was always along and I bribed him with one cent bubble gum pieces but Mom always said no. I guess he always swallowed the gum.

He also screamed bloody high pitches when we were sitting waiting at the train tracks for the train to pass by. I can remember Dad always yelling at him to knock it off. It’s only a train. I can still see remember trying  to figure out why Dad would yell at Al when he was scared. I would wrap my arm around Al and tell him, it will be alright baby brother. It is almost gone. Al sucked on one of those pacifiers and he used to offer me a suck off
of it when I made him feel better. Some how even back in those days Al
knew I was there for him.

 

38 thoughts on “My Brother’s LIfe Journey Chapter 2

  1. Praise God Terry. Do you know that God chose you to be Al’s sister? The Lord knew that the parents He had chosen to create Al wouldn’t know how to love him properly. He knew that the kind of love and patience that Al needed would never come from them, so He gave Al a big sister who would always love him and protect him. My friend, you have been chosen, and that is quite an honor. Do you see it?

    When that spirit of rejection and abandonment raise their ugly heads against you and try to tell you that nobody wants you, know this. Before the foundations of the earth were even laid, God chose you out of every other person that would ever be born, to love and care for Al. It’s been a big responsibility for you to shoulder, and sometimes it has felt more like a burden than a blessing, but know this… out of everyone else He could have chosen for this job, you were the one that He chose. You were the one He gifted with a motherly spirit towards her little brother. You were the one that He trusted to take care of that little boy with special needs, who was rejected by his birth mother and by his daddy, and his other grandparents. You were the one who refused to reject her little brother. You were the one that God entrusted to care for Al.

    When low self-esteem comes against you, and feelings of worthlessness come upon you, as you remember the pain of your past, remember this too, so that you can reject those feelings of worthlessness. It takes a very special person to love and understand and care for someone with special needs, and out of every other special person on earth, God chose YOU. What great value He places on you, Terry. Think about those things and pray about that…

    And have mercy on those who have abandoned and rejected you for your entire life, because they didn’t recognize that they too had been blessed by your presence, and they threw that blessing away. Your mother’s abandonment was her loss much more than it was yours. Your ex-husband’s abandonment was his great loss, much more than yours… Think and pray about those things, Terry, and remember, as you travel back in time to share Al’s Life Journey, and yours as well, that you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free… and whom the Son sets free, is free indeed. Terry, you are on the road to freedom!

    God bless you,
    Cheryl

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  2. Pingback: My Brother’s Life Journey Chapter 3 | terry1954

  3. I’m so glad you have happy memories and fun memories. Though it in no way compensates for the abuse, I’m sure it helps you forget the bad momentarily when you think about the good. God can heal your memories, and I believe this writing is part of the process. The Lord is going to bless you with things that will surprise you.

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