84 thoughts on “Sick at Heart

  1. I don’t know if you have access to “Legal Aid” near you or something likethat, but it looks t me like you need a lawyer. Perhaps someone else who reads this list can help you find some free legal resources. I don’t know enough about it, but near some larger cities, there used to be low cost lawyerss for people who couldn’t afford to pay. Maybe ask your county agency on aging.

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    • it just makes me sick at heart. I don’t want him to die in that nursing home and they know he has no money…….thanks for the advice. I keep thinking about how people raise money on Facebook for surgeries etc, but this isn’t an emergency of life and death, so I hestitate

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    • that’s all I feel we have left is prayer. it just makes me feel so sad. i feel like they don’t care anything about Al. they even refuse to let him have his funeral payment. they are heartless and I want to lash out

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  2. It is time to talk to an attorney Terry, you need professional advice and perhaps a letter from your attorney would make the nursing home rethink their position. God bless you, it seems as if it is always a battle doesn’t it? Don’t let them break you down my friend, sometimes you have to go on the offence.

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  3. Aw Terry I am so saddened by this. I wish there was something I could do to help. Every time I read about the trials you are going through I pray you have the strength to get through them 😦 Hugs to you and your brother x

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  4. This goes over my head …. Why should you pay them if he stays at home, but you have to seek help like as your friends had said here. You need professional help here. This doesn’t make sense in my book. Don’t you have legal aid cover in your home insurance? There is legal aid that works for free – that you can ask for advice. So sorry, for your situation. You have to sort this out first; before you get stressed over that you’re not able to take Al home or not. One step at the time. You have to find out what options .

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  5. Terry, I agree you need a lawyer. Do you have a church you go to regularly? Churches often have lawyers that attend there. Maybe you could contact them and see if there is one. Your circumstances may aid in their legal counsel.

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  6. Not to be redundant but just to say I agree about the legal aid. This is an overwhelming decision to make and you deserve to have some help so that you understand clearly your options. I would go to the computer and type in Legal Aid and see what comes up in your area. Also Angie’s List might have some suggestions.

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  7. More ideas Terry. Call your local agency for disabilities. Call Medicaid office. Call your congressional representative’s office. This comes under constituent services. Similarly, call your governor’s office and see if they can help you. Spread a wide net and see what you can find. Was it the nursing home or Medicaid who told you that you were $8 over the limit to qualify? If it was the nursing home, then try the Medicaid office or even the welfare office. Someone has to be willing to help! But most of all, finding a lawyer is key, and the churchs is a good idea as maybe the church office has contacts for you to call.

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  8. Terry this # will give you what you need for legal aide 1-800-952-1822. Also check out http://www.probonolawyers.org/ this covers every state. I sure hope this helps. know in most states if the facility is covered by Medicaire or Medicaide they accept under contract with those governmental agencies what ever is paid by them with NO charge to the patient. I think you might be being scammed. Better check this out as I think the fish in this barrel is beginning to stink more everyday!

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    • ok I wrote the number down and I have the link. One thing that keeps going over and over in my mind, is why didn’t they take the last two or three payments and put it on that back amount they say he owes? why did they just keep it when they were being paid? or at least this is what it seems to me. thank u so much. I will call tomorrow morning.

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  9. It’s probably not a possibility but do you think the Parkinson Society could give you some advice… or your representative in your area of the government…That’s where I would go but I am in Canada and not the U.S. You can only do what you can… and if Al hasn’t been given a date when he’s coming you’ll just have to tell him there are complications getting the house ready…that you want it to be just right for him… orrrrrr what about a news story? though you probably don’t want to go there….It just popped into my mind because sometimes on our news they will carry a story of someone who has been caught in the middle of a ‘system’….Diane

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  10. Oh Terry, *hugs* I would agree with the comments on legal consul. I also would suggest raising some funds online. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I asked people to help me cover the cost of my cat’s surgery (he has some teeth removed) everyone has unexpected bills and needs help from time to time. I would highly recommend using youcaring.com. They are a free website you can make a profile on and manage a fundraiser to collect funds to help pay for the bills. People can pay through their paypal accounts (another free service). I’ve helped people who have cats and dogs in need as well as I’ve gotten funds. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. *hugs*

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  11. ahh…. i hate this for you. here is the problem, when you filled out the paperwork for the nursing home it should have been explained to you that all accounts with his name be reported. i worked with this program for about 2 yrs. and i understand why the rule is there but i understand why you didn’t report it. all the worker can do is follow the policy. the worker has absolutely no power to change policy. i used to spend my days trying to explain policy to those in need but just like you it wasn’t intentional.

    the nursing home can say whatever they want but you are not responsible for this and no matter what they say don’t let them bully you. the worker had to deny you due to the acct. but the nursing home has not behaved with good intentions. Al has no money so they are going to work on you.

    i am so sorry this happened and wish somehow this could all go away. just try to gather your thoughts and don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. easy to say right? you can do this girl, you have made it this far and you can do this. i know this sounds counter-intuitive but do something for yourself now. if you aren’t taking care of yourself you can’t expect to think clearly and take care of everyone else.

    sending hugs and wishes for peace of heart

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  12. This is an area I don’t comprehend — finances have always been a mystery to me, except the very basic stuff. It sounds so much like the facility is doing something wrong, but again, I don’t know much about this sort of thing. The other ideas on here have all sounded good, and I hope some of them are of help to you — it sounds very much like you are being scammed by the facility.

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  13. Terry,

    I just recently got out of the hospital, and I was very up front with them, and told them I don’t have the money to pay the debt. They gave me some paperwork to fill out, and after reviewing it, they wrote my bill off.

    I’m not trying to be nosy. I just want to help, so without knowing details, if Al has no money, you, as his sister, are not responsible for paying his debts. Also, any income that Al has from Social Security, or whatever, must first be applied to his immediate healthcare needs, and if there is anything left over after that, then you could make installments to the facility. This should not deter you from bringing Al home, if you are able to handle his daily needs.

    I had a physician’s office call me today, and I was up front with her, explaining that due to health issues, I have been out of work since Sept. Therefore, she agreed to accept $10 monthly, until my debt is paid, and if I am unable to afford that, please call and let them know, and they will waive my monthly payment until I am able to begin paying it again… It is work, but you should be able to work something out, and again, if you and Al believe that he is better off at home, then bring him home.

    The facility cannot force you to pay Al’s bills, nor can they take more from him than he is able to live off of. After you are settled in your spirit, call the billing office at the facility, and make arrangements that Al can afford. If he can only afford $10 monthly, then tell them so, and do not let them force you to agree to anything more than you are able to pay. After you have finished talking to them, write a letter to whomever it was you spoke to in the billing office, and cc the Administrator and the social worker. Again, they will try to talk you into paying $50, or $100 or whatever amount each month. If this is not feasible, DO NOT agree to it. State what Al is able to afford, and agree to no more.

    Plan to bring Al home as before, if this is what you and he want. They can’t force you to make him stay there.

    Much love, and I hope this was helpful!
    Cheryl

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  14. I woke up thinking about you this morning. I am wondering if this is Medicare or Medicaid as you mention both in your post. They are two separate programs. Medicare had to give us a WRITTEN notice in advance when they refused to cover dad in his nursing home after a 5 days. And dad was entitled to file a protest to which they only had a few days to respond. Did you get written notice that Medicare wouldn’t cover Al and why? Seems like they are neglecting to tell Al all his rights. And yes, you are NOT responsible for Al’s debts unless you signed saying you would be. Good Luck!

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  15. Lifting you up in prayer, Terry. I’m not the brightest on this financial stuff so I’d love to give you some awesome answer but I am not educated on it. It looks like you’ve received a lot of good advice from other comments here. All I would add is what you already know, but just a reminder…that God does supernatural things, when natural things aren’t enough. He does make miracles happen. I pray for your miracle, that a path will open up for you and Al that is peaceful and good for both of you. God bless, my friend.

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  16. The entire Medicaid/Social Security System is so complicated; it is not up to you to figure out what’s up or what’s down. DON’T BE AT THE MERCY OF WHAT THE NURSING HOME IS TELLING YOU. Try the legal aid phone number(s) provided from an earlier response and/or call the Indiana citizen advocacy group called: United Senior Action 317-687-3659.

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  17. I don’t understand all the American system with health etc, it seems so difficult and expensive. I agree with everyone else, see if you can get help from alawyer they might know a way out. The whole thing totally sucks! Terry I wished I could help you in a way! hugs

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  18. All the advice sounds good to me. I think that you should also try to talk to a news reporter, if nothing else, hopefully some people will be informed. I know how you feel about sharing your bill concerns, but it is good that you did. As you share your concerns, you are also sharing some valuable information. Some of the comments indicate that several of us had no idea of certain procedures and pitfalls in the nursing home industry.
    One year I had an issue that I took to an attorney which I got out of the yellow pages. He drafted a letter to the people with whom I had the dispute. It only cost a $100. By the time I got home, the people my attorney contacted were calling and offering to pay me. I don’t know if your situation will be that simple, but I don’t believe that it will be expensive to obtain legal advice.
    Please keep us informed as God works it out in your favor. Praying for you…

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    • Wow! that is awesome how that was taken care of. I have reached out through phone calls to certain authorities. Now I am waiting for call backs. If I hear nothing by Monday afternoon, I will call back

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  19. I am praying the Lord works this out in the best way possible for you. Anything I can think of has already been covered in the above comments. Just remember, you are not the one responsible for Al’s bills. Most hospitals and nursing homes have special “write off” funds available through the government to help them with the bills that patients cannot pay.

    May the Lord bless you and continue to give you wisdom as you check these other sources for information and guidance.

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  20. Prayers that God will work this out for you. An attorney is definitely called for. Most entities do not like to deal with them and will ease up if not actually back down.

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    • I have begun making a start on this, and will continue tomorrow on Monday. I pray a lot that miracles will happen but in the mean time I will do whatever I can to help Al out

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