Daily Archives: May 5, 2013

People Watcher

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English: Join the movement to end child abuse:...

English: Join the movement to end child abuse: http://www.1stand.org

I didn’t want to get you sidetracked on my last post. I was talking about Al and wanted to stick to it.

While we were at Culver’s it was about 12:30. A good time on a Sunday to people watch. It was very crowded and I was thankful for the staff and visitors who helped open doors to get his wheel chair in and out. Also for checking out the Men’s restroom to make sure the coast was clear before barging in on some guy and scaring him so he couldn’t pee.

I love to people watch. If I can go to a mall and shop for a bit and spend more time sitting and people watching, this is what I would do. Today there were many people who had left church and headed here to eat.

It was so cute to see little girls in pretty dresses and white lacy anklets. Sort of reminded me of myself when I was little. There were ladies in dresses and men in suits. There were the relaxing folks with shorts and tank tops on.

I was really enjoying myself between keeping an eye on Al’s chewing. There was this one couple though that I found it hard to mind my manners.  I wanted to stare but I had to do it politely. They had to be young, well to me young. They were probably in their late twenties. I could tell from their outfits that they also had just left church to come here to eat. They had one daughter who was probably around 7 and another baby in a car seat. This baby wasn’t old enough to sit up yet. Cute little kids.

What gave me mixed feelings was my mind was thinking, nice church folks, pretty clothes, family, togetherness, comforting.

Then the baby would cry. I could see from my view that the Mama was trying to console the baby without having to pick he/she up, but the baby didn’t stop fussing. This was the first glimpse I got of mixed emotions. This is when the mixed emotions started flaring up.

Each and every time the baby cried, the Mama’s eyes got huge and she stared at her husband‘s face. The little girl became very quiet and stayed frozen in her seat. Finally the mom picked up the baby and gave up her hot food to comfort the little one.

The whole time she kept her eyes glued to her husband. There were no smiles or laughter or chatter. The baby quieted down and she laid it back in its little seat. Once again it cried. Instantly her eyes went to her husband again.

There was something familiar to me in that look of hers. It reminded me of when I was married to my last husband and I was always afraid of doing the wrong thing. The heart races, the breathing becomes rapid, but silence falls all around them and fear takes over.

Finally after the husband had finished his meal he took the baby from Mom. She could now eat her cold lunch. After he got the baby quiet the Mom’s eyes returned to normal. The little girl started to speak once again.

I felt eerie inside. I wanted to go over and ask the Mom or the little girl if they were safe, but I didn’t. I let it sit inside of me and stir like red-hot embers. I didn’t have any evidence.

I watched them leave and put my full attention back on Al. I felt ugly inside for not doing anything. There was a part of me that needed proof before I stuck my neck out. The only proof I had was my own memories of when my husband was not a very nice man, which is why I divorced him.

Kids or no kids if you are in a relationship that you don’t feel safe at all times, for heaven’s sake, get out. Get out and save your life, your sanity, and your children, if there are any. If you can’t get out because of no funds, do what I did. Save money until you can get out. I told my kids what was going on and I felt better because I had more pairs of eyes watching my life go by. If worse situation comes, walk out the door, call the neighbor, or call the police. Don’t hang around for love or security, you won’t find it.

I felt like something was going on inside that family, and I asked God to watch over that wife, mother and children, because all I had to go on was instincts.

Remember, abuse can happen to anyone. Church going people, teachers, preacher’s kids, your next door neighbor, your boss’s family, anywhere and anytime always be a good people watcher.

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On a Sunday Afternoon

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English: Culver's frozen custard deserts at th...

English: Culver’s frozen custard deserts at the West Milwaukee, Wisconsin location.

I was just thrilled today, let me tell you. You would think by now the facility knows how picky I am on Al’s looks with cleanliness, even more so when I take him in public. Today I went and picked him up. We ate lunch at Culver’s so he could have ice-cream.

His tremors seemed fairly under control. He did pretty good eating without spilling too much. I was watching him eat and I  noticed his fingernails. On one hand all four fingers were lined in shall I say yellow-brown?

I thought back to when the staff member was helping him to get in his wheelchair. She said, I caught Al in the bathroom digging.

Alright, I thought, thanks for letting me know that. But watching him when he ate made me lose my own appetite as I realized what the colored nails were from. He had not been cleaned up.

Grrrr, I just wanted to scream. If I have told them once I have told them too many times to make sure his nails are always clean. I don’t know of there is really any truth to it but Mom used to tell me that if there was dirt under my nails when I was a kid that I could get pinworms.

As I sat there I noticed his fingernails not only had the crusties they were also turning dark gray, and then they would fade back to light gray. Maybe I shouldn’t be concerned, because the nurses aren’t, but I am. What is causing this to happen? It has been going on for a couple of months now.

Al’s speech was really hard to understand today. I think part of it is PD. Another part could be the increase of pain medications. His lips barely moved and even after I asked him a couple of times what he said, I gave up. I mostly didn’t know what he was saying. I just agreed with what he was saying but felt awful for not understanding and just playing the game.

He did have one point in our outing where he told me about a dream he had last night. He said he woke up and saw someone sitting in his recliner. He said he didn’t know who it was and then they got up and left.

After lunch we drove to the lake. I think he enjoyed it but it didn’t take long before he was falling asleep on me. He apologized when he woke up and I told him not to worry about it. He said he was tired, so I took him back. When I got him in his room I went to the nurse and spoke to her about the gray nails. She made no motion and said nothing. She just looked at me. I also told her about his dirty nails and how I wanted those cleaned up.

I think  Al had fun, or as much as he could. We did have some choking issues three times on eating french fries. Maybe he won’t be able to eat those anymore, I don’t know. I  would hate it because he loves them.

I left him sitting in his recliner where he wanted to watch some sports, but before five minutes went by he was asleep. I patted him on the arm and told him I was going to go so he could rest and he looked at me and said, I’m sorry, I just get too wore out.

Although I love to take him out, I can see it is a real hardship on him. I told him I loved him and would see him in a day or two, unless he wanted me there for him earlier. I asked him what is he supposed to do if he needs me, and he looked at me with a weak smile and said, have the nurse call you. I said “Great answer” and then left him as he closed his eyes again.

Here are some photos I took while we were out to the lake.

boatbeachcampgroundcemetaryfishingpink tree

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Daily Prompt; The Glass

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com ; Daily Prompt; DP

Is the glass half-full, or half-empty?

This is something I struggle with more than I care to admit. I want to look at the glassas half full. I try really hard to see it with an abundance of goodness…

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