http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt
Tell us about the most surprising helping hand you’ve ever received.
Photographers, show us HANDS.
As my mind ponders on when I was given a Helping Hand, I look around at people I have known for years. I have a wonderful family, and the small circle of friends I have are the best in the world.
But my own issues and insecurities were so deeply embedded. Some could see them, others I was able to fool for years.
Then I began to take care of my Dad when he became ill with bone cancer. As soon as we buried him Al had a heart attack. The struggles I felt were now suddenly thrown into the back coals, simmering and waiting to show their embers at any time.
I was a bigger mess than I am now. I struggled for years with the feelings of being unloved. I craved it, anyone who would show some interest, I became like a leech. It was pathetic. I was my own worst enemy.
One day sitting here at the computer I broke down. All the ill feelings I had for me came tumbling down around me. Tears shed and washed me but I was not holding that shiny look of re-birth yet.
I begged God to help me. I asked for forgiveness. I pleaded to feel worthy, to change my heart. I prayed this for months, and then God gave me a helping hand.
He showed and guided me through the blogging world. He taught me how to let out my feelings. He let a shining star lead me on the right path. He went to others hearts and asked if they could meet me.
In no time at all, I went to a few friends to hundreds of friends. I am able to most times see others pain and hopefully I have been a blessing in others lives. God knew that with caring for my brother I could not do justice outside of my home. So he used me through the computer.
I never saw this helping hand coming. It was months before I took notice what was happening and the gifts of friendship and many blessings were coming my way.
Today there is guilt mixed in me along with thankfulness. I know I am dead tired emotionally. My fight is not over keeping my brother safe from harm. I have doubted God and have been so angry at him that I refused to say his name.
Last night I cried out to him and this morning thanks to God’s helping hands and my many inspirational friends, I am climbing back out of that pit. I feel my weakness and yet I feel his hands…………..
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I am so glad to hear this. That you are seeing God hand. Reach and grab it. I was just praying again for you. May He wrap Himself around your heart so tightly today that His love is all you know.
I couldn’t have done this if it weren’t for your supportive words Heather. I am too tired to do it on my own. big hugs to you and thank you for the prayers
I know that kind of tired Terry. (I think maybe you may have read part of my life story?) It is a relentless drain. But trudge through it. And I mean trudge. Know that God is trudging along side. For there is some reason or reasons. A purpose greater than our human minds can understand. As I look back now – at the times I’d sit in the corner of my room hearing the evil and pulling my hair out literally in anguish from the depression – I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t. Because on this side I see the purpose from all that junk some 20 years ago.
It’s hard. Hard like hell. But I believe Terry that I will be hearing your Glory Story in all this soon.
And I take the Spirit’s nudge to pray seriously. My heart is swelling for you and Al. I am praying for a miracle through tears. Haven’t met you. Don’t need to meet you to pray and believe. And that is exactly what I do. Why I write and share.
Hugging you through the Internet – Heather
I have read some of your stories and we get tired. We need to stay strong, but sometimes it is so darn hard. I appreciate the prayers because I know they work Heather
Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
thank you so much my friend
Não me agradeça. Vc merece. Tenha um ótimo domingo!
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Reading this post really touched me. I can feel your pain and lonliness because I have been there. Keep reaching for God’s hand. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Sometimes he uses other people to be “God with skin on” My prayers are with you.
I can’t afford to have God leave me. I will be totally unable to win against the odds. thanks Lily for being a friend to me
How do you feel now? I do feel things are tumbling me down with my current situation.
I feel like things are tumbling down also
Please continue to hold onto our Lord and I’m learning to hold on
A beautiful and touching post, Terry. I’m glad you are seeing a little more light today. I can remember that every time I thought I was coming out of the pit, it seemed I would loose my “footing” and tumble back to the bottom again. Then one day it was all over. Praise the Lord. And one day, the storm will be over for you and Al, too, and you will see the sunshine once again as the dark clouds blow out of the sky. There is joy ahead though it is almost impossible to see right now. Everything is in God’s hands–the safest, gentlest and most loving hands you can find.
Diane I am so counting on it. It seems each time more and more happen I grow more weak and tired of fighting
Last year, I put my affairs in order so I could commit suicide. My best friend called and insisted that I go stay with her instead of going to the sea shore like I had planned. (I don’t know how to swim and the plan was to just walk out there and let the sea wash over me). I still vividly remember how alone and tired I felt and then God sent her, to remind me of who I was and how much more I could be, if I wouldn’t give up fighting and if I would just pray when I fell on my knees.
It gets better. Takes a lot of time but it does get better.
Hugs and prayers!
I have only told one person this Arman. This weekend I recognized the danger and called a friend, because I kept thinking about my medicines and how easy it would have been to take them and be rid of the lonely and tiredness of fighting people for Al’s rights. I called a friend because it scared me and did not attempt it. I was just tired and now that thought doesn’t enter my mind. It is scary at how easy Satan can pull you down, very scary
I literally picture my hand in the Lord’s when I’m in need of comfort…It’s so helpful and a feeling of calm comes over me…
that is a good idea, I pray and pray like a broken record