I did something last night I have not done in so long. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. My son and his family came down a bit before dark. We lit a campfire and everyone but me made smores. It was so much fun to watch the kids light their marshmallows and burn them. Watching them go up in flames made the four-year old giggle until he tasted the charred. Then he didn’t care for it much and gave the roasting stick to his Mom.
We chatted and laughed for a couple of hours. Most of the time my mind darted to Al and wondered how he was doing that evening. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen him lately. I had seen him actually that day at noon.
For some reason I feel guilty when I am laughing. I know that he is sad and depressed, so how dare me know this and put the sadness aside for a while. I couldn’t help but get involved with the innocence of kids and join in when they laughed.
After a while I did something else I had never done. I let my son talk me into a midnite ride with his family through our addition on a golf cart. Now I have to be honest, there really wasn’t room for me. I begged not to go, partially because I forgot how to have fun, and I knew that only one butt cheek of mine was going to fit comfortably. My son and his g/f scooted close together and then I gave in and took a seat.
Oh my gosh, the smell of wood burning and the fresh air must have turned me back into my childhood. As we rode through the fresh air, I could feel breeze hitting my cheeks. I felt free. Free from the world, free from problems. Free from myself. We rode all around and every time I turned around I heard my name,”Grandma”.
It was awesome. I was connecting with young people. I am not usually good at that, but for this night I was. Seeing their innocent faces, their unrehearsed laughter, listening to all they wanted to tell me, engulfed me with what I have craved for so long. A family, one of my kids and their kids. It was Over the River and Through The Woods to Grandmother’s House We go. But there was no snow, nor coats, hats and boots.
Today we celebrated my youngest son’s birthday. It is actually the 29th, but that is a work day so we had a cook out today. My son smoked chicken and steak with mushrooms on the smoker.
His g/f made home-made mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese. There was also fresh green beans and fresh corn. I provided a relish tray with dip, a Birthday cake, complete with ice-cream{Birthday Party Cupcake Flavor}, nuts, whip cream and Hershey’s chocolate. After all that we still chowed, well the little ones more than me. I have to watch my sugars. But they chowed down on home-made banana graham cracker pudding.
It wasn’t an hour after we cleaned up the kitchen the kids were back at eating again. How do they do that and where do they put it?
After their tummies were finally full we pulled the badminton set out from last summer and set it up. We all played and laughed hysterically as we each missed the hit. I have not laughed so long and so hard for many months. My cheek muscles were sore from smiling so much. My stomach hurt from laughing.
I just know that for me, it was the best 24 hours I have spent in I don’t know when. Don’t worry Bud I will be there tomorrow. A regular day once again, a regular routine for the week.
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I think even more now while dealing with Al you need to have fun and laugh and do some things for yourself. It’s okay to do so, it’s balance actually, if you are looking after yourself and your needs than you can better care for Al. I’m so happy you actually found fun again, and I’ll just bet your Grand kids were too! xo
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I had such a wonderful time. The hours flew by and it felt wonderful to live life instead of death
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awesome, i hope you do it again sooner than later!
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hugs my friend. You always know what I need better than me
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I am SO happy for you that you got to have “family time”, and giggled, and had a good time, we NEED those times.
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I needed it worse than I knew. Sometimes the lonliness eats me up
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Of course, I also think so
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thanks my friend
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Welcome, my friend
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Wow! That makes me happy!
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I acted like a big kid!!!!
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terry i am so happy that you let yourself have this time of joy!
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it felt pretty good
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🙂
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It is so nice to hear that you had fun, Terry…you deserve to do that more often 🙂
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then why did rainy blah Tuesday have to come???? LOL
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🙂
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Terry, I think is that is brilliant that you laughter when you talk to Al, even if he are sad – it will cheer him up. Because when I went through my cancer treatment – I was always joking and laughing with the other patients that didn’t feel so good .. and the doctors said that was the best medicine for both them and me.
Love the read read of the smoked chicken .. never had smoked chicken, have eaten smoked duck breast a couple of times, and that is very tasty.
It makes me so happy to read about your great day with your kids and grand kids – just what you needed. Wonderful, Terry.
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the smoked chicken is probably as good as the smoked duck. mouth watering. I did have a good time. i will remember it for a long time. I will try to laugh with Al but it makes me feel funny when he doesn’t respond back
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I’m so glad that you had a great time. Yes you thought about Al, that is only natural. You need to let your hair down. You need to smile, laugh, jump, roll down a hill, play knock down ginger (tic-tac-toe) Sing at the top of your voice.
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i bet the whole neighborhood that was awake could hear my laughter. They probably thought I was drunk!! LOL
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😀 That’s not a bad thing
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the laughter or the drunk part??? LOL
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Wonderful Terry, I am so happy that your kids came and brought fun to you with your grandchildren. You do not need to feel guilty as you totally deserve something like that. You need to look after yourself and laughter is a cure and good medicine for everything. You need to do it more often as you will feel more energetic and you can deal with problems a little bit easier. Surely AL would have wanted you to have a happy day too. It sounded great and sometimes we need to act as kids and do crazy things, let your barriers down and feel free! Even at our age we can do silly things…. believe me… 🙂 So happy you enjoyed it so much. 🙂
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thanks Ute, it relieved so much stress, I was amazed. I am ready to do it again!
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Go for it Terry! 🙂 Bless your family !
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I recently read a devotional that spoke to this very subject of finding joy in the midst of difficulties. The writer began by quoting Psalm 23: “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies”. I never quite understood that passage, but this explanation brought it into focus for me:
The ‘table’ symbolized God’s blessings, which continue to flow in difficult times as well as good ones. And the ‘enemies’ are not necessarily people, but anything disrupting our lives or causing unhappiness. Our enemies would include fear, loneliness, or stress; could be relationship problems, financial woes, etc. Whatever challenges we are facing, we can still depend on God’s blessings to bring us joy.
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that is a beautiful way you explained this Laura. I really appreciate it. I never saw this verse as this, so I am glad you told me. hugs
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yes…yes…yes… Do it again… Nothing like it!…I can just picture your joy and the joy of the others around you…having a Mom…a Grandma…with them…so glad!
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we had so much fun Marilyn. I didn’t want it to end
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If anyone deserves a bit of fun you sure do, so glad your son and his family were able to pull grumbling gram into the fun. doesn’t times like that make your heart sing? You , my friend do not feel guilty for Al’s condition of pain and sadness he would not want your life to stop just because he can no longer partake of it in the fun times. Do not you hear me my friend do not think you must be gloomy all the time or serious all the time, you have a lot of years left on this earth take the fun and laughter where you can. 🙂
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When I need to be told important things, all I have to do is have a nice chat with you. I don’t know why I carry Al’s feelings. I am like a sweeper, being sucked up through the hose
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LOL I am just a nosy old woman with no life so I live vicarously through you …and I give lots of advice which is really only good some of the time LOL. But for you I try to keep you cheered because I care. 🙂
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you are not a nosy old woman!!!!!!!!!! I relate to you so I believe you are a great friend to me!!!!!! that is a wonderful comment you have given my my friend
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🙂 Glad you got to have some laughs, my friend!
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it felt real good Brian
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Terry, the Bible says “A merry heart doeth good.” Laugh!
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I felt 100 pounds lighter because all of the stress was lifted
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You go girl! Having fun and just laughing til your sides ache is the best stress relief I can think of. Try to do it again soon!
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I want to do it again real soon!!!
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Nothing like a good belly laugh to lift the spirits. Sounds like a good fun day.
A change in routine is as good as a holiday in my book.
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