Apology, Crash and Burns


flashing starFirst I want to apologize. I know I have not done a good job on commenting to your remarks. I want to, but I have been so busy I just plain haven’t had time. I hope you don’t think me rude, or worse yet, leave my blog. I promise I am doing the best I can.

You know the other day when I posted the big bout of laughter I had? It is a good thing because come Tuesday and worse yet today, I have placed the laughter on the back burner again.

I want to laugh, I swear I do, but how can I? How can I pretend that life for some isn’t grand? Others so close to me are truly suffering. Even if I wanted to, I can’t do it right now.

I got a call this morning about 9am. Guess who? The nursing home, yes you are right. Al had fallen. These seem to be old words to me anymore. Just dip your hands into the water bucket and pull out the letters FALLS.

This time he fell in the bathroom. He was impatient. He had gotten his wheelchair stuck in a position that he needed help. The nurse was in the room but she was giving Al’s roommate his insulin. She couldn’t just drop everything and go help him. She says she told him to hang on a second, but he thought he could do it himself.

He tried to stand and couldn’t take one step. He fell  hard to the floor. He damaged ribs, received a couple of lacerations,and broke his glasses.

I went to the administrator and told him I wanted Al off the Exellon Patch now.  He grinned at me and asked,” Do you want staff to just get him ready in the mornings and then bring him to the dining room so he can watch TV?”

“Will he get any better observations this way?”

“No, no one is in there. Everyone is working to get staff up.”

“Then I hardly see how that can be beneficial to Al.”

“I want that Doctor R. taken off of his case. I didn’t ask for her or send for her. In fact, I don’t even know anything about her. She won’t give out her phone number. I don’t even know if she is from in town.”

“Well she didn’t end up being here without your  permission.”

“Excuse me, she did end up here without my knowledge. She was brought in by your facility when you decided to place Al in isolation. I have argued the point of putting him on drugs that could make him worse, but I lost. So much for my guardianship.”

He smiles.

“If you don’t remove the drug and her from my brother’s care, I will be forced to go to the public phone and call the State Board of Health. You are not his doctor nor do you have permission to be calling in whom ever you wish.”

Smile from his face leaves.

Instead of answering comments last night, I had done some heavy-duty research on this new drug. I discovered that it can cause worse heart problems. Oh ,my, Al is a heart patient with CAD. It also causes fatigue, loss of appetite, and dizziness,  plus UTI’s.

“Now because of this stupid drug I didn’t want  him on, he has fallen and hurt himself this time. He has had to have a sterile Catheter take, and x-rays. I am now also responsible for purchasing him more glasses.”

Still no smile.

I stood up and shook his hand like a nice lady. I gave him my biggest smile, then I trotted out of his office. About a half an hour later, the Psyche Doctor called for me. Our conversation went like this.

“I hear you don’t want me on the case any longer.”

“It isn’t that you are not a good doctor, I just don’t want a shell for a brother. I explained to you with great intense that I didn’t want you putting him on anything that would destroy who he is, but you ignored my words. So yes, I want you gone and I want the patch Dcd.”

“Alright, no problem. I wish you luck when you take him home.”

“It will be rough, but it will be him and me. I understand where he is coming from. You don’t know him, and I will be able to keep a closer eye on him.”

“Alright, goodbye.”

For now friends, I have limited power over his food intake. When he comes home, I can do a better variety. Usually what they offer Al is fried chicken, or baked fish or a hot dog. Always red beets or green beans, glazed carrots, or Brussel sprouts. Cinnamon apple rings, ice-cream, once in a while cake, or fruit cocktail. It doesn’t waver much from this menu in the seven months he has been there.

Today he didn’t eat half of his lunch. I know that Al has cut way down on his eating but yet he gained two pounds. I am going to chalk this up to Edema in his feet.

After lunch I ran to the eye vision place and had his glass frames replaced. When I got back I planned to visit but he was asleep and I couldn’t wake him. I left his new glasses and whispered goodbye.

Now I am home and with me I brought most of Al’s cars he had at the facility. I asked my son if he could come down and find some more space for shelving. I need to put these cars somewhere, and  his closet is full.

My son said maybe tomorrow because today is his birthday. Well crap on me. I had a cookout and birthday party so to speak on Monday and gave him money, but I guess I forgot to say the big words, Happy Birthday to him. Even at 33 years old my kids still need to hear those important words. I did it, I said it, and now is well with him once again.

34 thoughts on “Apology, Crash and Burns

  1. Terry, I am so sorrt you continue to have problems with this nursing home and especially that Al fell and was injured there. I hope you are ableto bring him home really soon.

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  2. Don’t worry about replying to comments, Terry.
    Everyone knows and understands your commitments.

    I have had to do the same (re replying) in the last couple of days. I have a whole lot of paperwork and copying of bloodwork results to get ready for my next (new) Specialist appmnt.

    Will be interesting to see how Al is without that drug. I hope he is more coherent and awake.

    If it’s not already done, may I suggest that when (and if) you have him live in your home again, you offer him tiny servings of lots of different things to eat. Give him half servings of everything. Ensure the small plate of food has the most colourful array on it. It’s surprising how colour, presentation & portion size can affect one’s appetite. I imagine you’re already an expert on this sort of thing.

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  3. I know I don’t comment often anymore but do know that I have you and Al in my thoughts, and while there isn’t much I can do know that I’m still lurking around in silent support ♥♥♥I hope the change in patch lessens the disorientation and weakness for Al; he already gets it all from the PD no need for them to exacerbate the problems. :-/ Take care ♥

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  4. The sooner he gets out of this place the better. This place is really no help and care. You see that is why it is important that you have laugh day in between, to restore you a bit for more confrontations. I thought you were absolutely marvelous how you told them what to do. I do admire you! Keep your spirits up and keep fighting. It will end soon. Tight Big hugs for you Terry!

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  5. Oh, Terry, to be strong for others in hard times requires us to give ourselves relief from the stress and the heavy burdens from time to time. I know it is hard to have a good day and have some fun when others that are close to us are suffering, but we need to take time for ourselves and then maybe just maybe a small amount of that happiness will spill off of us and onto the one who is suffering and have a better day themselves. I have tried this at work on a bad day and it does seem to help.

    I would never leave your blog either. We all get busy and have to do other things at times. Heck, I know I am always busy and sometimes I don’t get to read your blog or the others I subscribe to. But know this even when I am unable to make it here for a visit you are always in my prayers and thoughts.

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  6. You’re an incredibly strong person for knowing what you want, asking for it politely, and being assertive in what is right. Definitely lightening bolts of strength. I am so proud of you for going this far along the process, and for realizing just how incredible you are (which, I know you forget), but really, I’m in awe of how much you have overcome, for so long, with such tenacity. My respect to you is overflowing with inspiration to face my battles with the same rigor. Thank you….

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