http://dailypost.wordpress.com/, DP, Daily Prompt
When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you,
or do you prefer to soldier on alone? What does it take for you to ask
for help?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us HELP.
It seems this has been a day for answers. I have waited and fought my way through the systems for a few months now. I started the process of bringing my brother back home clear back in February.
When I work so hard to help another soul, I tend to put my problems in a basket and shove it in the corner. I always think to myself, Oh Terry, you don’t have it near as bad as Tom, Dick or Mary Sue. Just wait ….you can deal with it later.
But this year seems to bring more issues that deal with Al and involve me involuntarily. I have begun to feel like these problems, this illness is all mine. I live it, feel it and have come to you over and over for a soft pillow to fall on to.
Today I got the word from the Ombudsman that I have been working with for a couple of months. I got the special call from the Waiver department, stating Al may possibly be coming home next week.
The one other issue that I have been dealing with gets on my nerves so bad. I have to deal with it; but constantly waiting for the call-back really makes my skin crawl. Hopefully tomorrow that issue will be handled also. Of course it has to do with Al too.
The worst thing that I deal with is humility. I just hate begging. I was taught that I made my bed, now I can just lie in it.
Well this isn’t always the truth when you are a caregiver for a family member. Sometimes their problems become your priorities. This is the one time this has happened. Al’s bill or debt as we are all familiar with this term has become my priority.
It killed me emotionally. It brought tears to my eyes that you would think I can not get things done or work things out. That I had to come to you begging and letting you know I can’t make all things right was the hardest thing I have had to post about yet.
If I am ill, like I was last January, I was sick for one month. I didn’t venture out of the house except for doctor visits. I felt like I was going to die. I was weak and some days I could barely get off the floor.
I blogged about it, but I never asked for help of anyone. I prayed and let God hear all my concerns.
I just don’t want to bother anyone. I know there are so many others so much worse off than me. Sure life is stressful. Al isn’t easy to take care of. But, we each have two arms, and two legs, and there are others in this world who have less.
I am not rich, I am poor, but there are people even more poor than me because I do have a roof over my head.
So, you know things have to be tough or I have reached the end of the road and have no way out except listen to God and do what he tells me. I would rather hide everything bad that has to do with my days under a bushel and ask God to let it shine.
I guess when it is all said and done, I am a soldier alone. Trying to make things work from my ideas and monies I have. If I feel like I or Al are going to drown, I will make my concerns public.
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Who I am 
Terry, you have written this from your heart and soul. Terry, I’m so worry about you and how you feel in all this that is going on.
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it can be scary at times. I sometimes look back and wonder how I made it through. I just try to keep strong
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You have to look after yourself too, Terry … it’s not only Al that matters, what happens to him if you go under too.
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I am hoping that the help I am provided at home will make a big difference, and of course this time he and I won’t be together day and night as he will be at a day program. I love it that you are such a caring person. hugs
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Terry, I know that we just met, but I do feel a kindred spirit with you. I am here if you need to talk. My email is on my blogs. I am here for a shoulder, a giggle, a prayer, a friend. Big hugs. I will be praying you irregardless. Big hugs!
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hi my friend. the greatest gift I have received through blogging is good friends. To have met you is wonderful in my eyes. I will keep your email most definitely. Thank you so much for your gift of friendship
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Again, big hugs…much love!
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Terry I admire you soooooo much. I can’t be of any practical help but I am here for you, Sis.
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you being here in the mist of what you go through means the world to me. this is what friendships are all about. hugs and love Julie, my dear friend
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I understand how you feel, Terry. I’m also the type who tend to soldier it alone and put it at the corner
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why are we so hesitant to reach out to others???? but I am
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My prayers continue. I know the Lord will work it out the way that He sees fit. One day at a time and trust in Him knowing He is in control. Lord bless you.
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this is how I am trying so hard to look at life; one day at a time, thanks so much Rob for your encouraging words
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I do not know you Terry, I just stopped by your post at the “speak softly”page. I do not know exactly what the situation you are describing consists of, I just was moved by your cry for wisdom, strength and support. I know that God knows what we need, but also that he loves for us to put words to our prayers so that we wil recognize the answer when it comes. So I will join you and your friends in your prayers. Even if I tend to soldier on alone too, I think God wants to show us the extra blessing it is to take care of each other and be taken care of. Best wishes from Solveig
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thank you so much Solve, I appreciate your words. I could not live my life without the constant friendship of God. I spend many times trying to soldier it alone, but in the end God is always there to help. Stop by anytime my friend
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Terry, I’m a soldier too and working everything out alone, but sometimes we all need help and we just have to ask for it, but for us soldiers asking is the most difficult part in our being, because we learned ourselves to handle it on our own. I think that God has made us to work together (for me this is a hard one too) and that we have a cat in our life who lets us see how we have to ask. I can’t do much, but you’re always in my prayers. Take care my friend 🙂
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I was brought up to tough it out, but I realize I don’t have to worry, although I still do, because God is with me at all times. I am getting to the place where I can reach out to friends and let them know I am not as strong as I seem
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all I can say is… that I feel your pain …and so wish you help with your situation…we barely take care of our needs too…but, with the Lord’s help…we keep heads above water…just barely…
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it is impossible in todays economy to save extra pennies…………….most of us are in the same boat!!!!! your heart is always with us, that is bigger than any dollars
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