It has taken me so long to get up the strength to write you this letter. Today, is Father’s Day and while many are celebrating I was not. Instead I spent the afternoon with your son, my brother at the nursing home.
He isn’t doing well Daddy. He is wanting to die and he wants to do it at home. I hope you understand why I placed him for these past few months. I just felt I couldn’t give him all he needed. I felt like he needed more than just my help. I do hope you understand.
I have missed you so much. It is so hard to believe that you have been gone six years this December. Where has the time gone? I guess when I look back I mourned for years. I think if I admit it I am still mourning for you today.
Right after you had your burial, Al had a heart attack. The doctors said that he had so much trouble expressing himself, his heart just couldn’t take what had happened. Ever since then Daddy I have been taking care of him. I promised you I would and I haven’t let you down.
I have been alright I guess. I have never been able to fill the void of you being gone, but I survive. I think of you at least once every day. I always tell myself that you watch over me. I can see you and Mom holding hands and looking down on Al and me.
Are you smiling? I know I disappointed you in so many ways and I am sorry, but I hope you are proud of me now. I have worked real hard at being the good girl you could smile down upon.
I bought a sketch pad today and some charcoal and sketch pencils. You remember Daddy? How you and I used to draw together? I am going to give it a shot without you. Every sketch I make will be done through my love for you.
Al is coming home this week and he says he is wanting to see you and Mom real bad. He says he misses you both and Granddad too. He told me Mom has said she is saving a spot for him, will you save a spot for me too?
You know that once Al is gone it will be me left from the family. Hold a spot close up there in heaven. I don’t want to be separated from the family ever again.
I miss you so much and I love you as much today as when I held you in my arms while you drifted off to heaven. I didn’t get to tell you enough how much I love you. I am hoping that while your spirit was rising that early morning that you heard me whispering in your ear that I love you and you were the best Daddy a girl could have.
Well, I better close for now before I start crying again. Give Mom a hug and a kiss for me and I shall see you both soon.
Your little girl,
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