Al and Hospice Meet

English: Hospice Journey’s Logo

I didn’t actually go to sleep that much earlier last night but I did wake up very early. Rhino, the cat was meowing at me and when I walked by him to use the bathroom he stuck out his paw as to tell me, get back in bed.

I did climb under the covers again but could not keep my peepers closed. In less than a half an hour, I got up. Rhino decided he had lost with me so he got up too. I made the coffee, brushed my teeth. Next I fed the cat and cleaned the kitty box.

I received a phone call earlier than I usually do. It was the facility letting me know that I was confused on the date Al was coming home. I had told them yesterday that he was coming home Thursday. Why, I don’t know. I explained that she was correct and I was wrong.

Then I received two wrong person calls. Then I got one more call from the lady who wanted me to be on the talk show. She told me it is going to be this coming Sunday for sure. I will try to get the web address if you would be interested in hearing me and the conversation.

I finally heard nothing from the phone. I had done everything I could find to do trying not to have to make the dreaded call to Hospice. I decided not to use the Hospice here in our county. I was very disappointed in them with the lack of care they gave to my father.

So I sat down and pushed the buttons and my stomach started to burn and crunch as I heard the other end of the voice say hello. It went too fast, this isn’t what I expected. In fact the whole process of everything in life is going to fast.

This company is on top of things and they are going to meet me tonight, yes tonight at 6pm with Al in his facility. This is leaving me no time to prepare emotionally. Part of me wants to cry at the first sad word heard, and the other part of me knows very well that for Al’s sake I will be there with a smile on my face and fake my way through this.

It is really happening, Al and Hospice are going to be formally introduced tonight. Maybe Hospice won’t think he needs their program……….But then I hear the doctor’s words from Friday, if they don’t accept him call me right a way, I will talk to them.

Well my gut is churning. I knew that it was time to eat lunch but I am not hungry. When I get upset I can go for ever without eating. I decided I would go in and eat supper with Al tonight. He will be happy about this and I will be there in case she is early.

I threw a salad together with some cut-up broccoli and pre-packaged salad, and tossed a sliced tomato and some shredded Colby cheese. Then I add Bacon Ranch dressing on top and forced myself to eat. I did eat half of it and I ate a kiwi too. This should tide me  over. I just hate eating when I am not hungry, but Diabetic pills don’t work if you don’t eat.

Wish me luck, say a prayer, give me a push, just let me do what is right and look at this is for Al so I need to quite being so selfish and wish things were different, because they are not.

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