Daily Archives: July 12, 2013

#FWF Free Write Friday; Ponder This

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Today you have been granted the opportunity to go anywhere, do anything, meet anyone, travel in time…whatever you wish, it is yours. Now, there’s a catch. (Isn’t there always?) When you wake up tomorrow… you will not remember any of it.

I left my cares behind. On my back was a backpack filled with necessities. In my pockets were monies I had stashed a way for a rainy day. Dressed in jeans for hiking and good boots, my black-felted cowgirl hat, and a cotton blouse I was going nowhere.

Al was in the care at the Hospice house and Rhino was being fed by the neighbor. I had two weeks that Al could be safely out of my sight and I decided I was going to take advantage of every moment I could.

The skies were endless and my dreams rode the horizons. Fresh air filling my nostrils, the blue in my eyes straining to see all life had in front of me. My lungs filling with new life. I was free, yes totally free.

I had only walked about a mile when a Fairy Princess I had once dreamed about as a child appeared. She waved her beautiful, sparkling wand and presented me with a fine blue feather. She nodded towards it smiling and with her eyes told me to sit upon the carrier named Blue.

Not questioning anything I did as she prompted. The delicacy was strong enough to hold me and all that I carried. When I looked back to thank her she was gone. I smiled and within seconds my new seat lifted me above the tallest green trees. I was floating over my home I had just left.

I did not need a guide because the yearnings I carried in my heart were transferred into my golden carriage. We drifted slowly higher and I saw my parents home. Tears started to fall and as if magic the feather handed me a blue handkerchief. The edges were laced in pale blue. The core of it in the color of virgin white.

I wiped my tears and we darted higher and as we traveled it seemed like only minutes but I knew it had been much longer. For the next city I saw was one that I had lived in many years ago in Germany. Oh what beauty. Blue took me over the house that I had once lived in as a newlywed. Beautiful smiles crossed my face as I remembered all the special moments we had shared.

I photographed every detail perfectly in my mind as we hovered over the city. It was exhilarating. No one could interrupt  me. I was free to react in any way that felt good. No judging, no tears, pure splendor is what I felt at this moment. My heart was higher than the tallest mountains.

We left there and  soon I found myself in the front yard of my daughter’s home. I started crying and no handkerchief could control these happy and joyful tears. I miss my daughter very much. She doesn’t live near me any longer but my mind thinks of her often. Oh how I miss her, and now here I am.

Blue lowered me to the ground and I could see my daughter peering through the front window. She saw me walking up to her front door and she ran out to greet me. We hugged each other like we had never hugged. She roughed up my hair and I tousled hers. Arm in arm we walked into her home. Neither of us shut up for one second. We talked until I was signaled it was time to move on. We cried for the parting of each other but promised to not wait so long to see each other the next time.

I sat back on my familiar Blue and off we went into the skies once again. We went higher and higher. I wasn’t afraid but I was questioning in my mind where we were going. At long last I was placed in front of two golden doors. I wasn’t allowed in and this time Blue didn’t disappear.

There was a fine mist that made me keep blinking but when my eyes adjusted there on the outside of the golden gates stood my entire family. Oh Mom, oh Dad, how I have missed you. Running into their arms. Once again feeling the sureness that I was so familiar with. Seeing my Dad’s smile and Mom’s beautiful face almost made me faint.

But I dare not or I would miss each precious moment. Behind my parents were other family members. Aunts, Uncles, cousins. Everyone was there and for a brief moment I remembered love. Love for people, family and a safe haven where I knew I belonged.

Blue motioned for me that it was time to go. I clung to my parents not wanting to ever let go, but I had to. This was not for me to decide. This was my inner self expressing needs and desires that had been hidden too deeply to surface for so long.

Mom and Dad waved goodbye to me. Their eyes smiled at me and I could make out their lips saying they would see me soon.

I felt like I was ten years old again. Life was all anew. There was no sickness around me. There was no divorce nor pain. I was swinging high in a school yard swing. Kicking my feet back and forth begging to go higher. I never wanted this to stop.

Blue took me to the house I lived in when I was a child. He took me over the playground I used to play in as a child. I could see my life flowing before me. Month after month, year after year I revisited.

I wasn’t ready for the ride to stop but as I neared the familiar sights of my own home I was able to see my two sons. They were waving at me. They were mouthing words of You Go Girl. All my grandchildren were standing with them. They were screaming, hi Grandma.

They were jumping up and down as they tried so desperately to reach up to me and grab my hand. If I could have I would have reached down and picked each one up and take them with me, but alas this ride was for no one other than my inner being.

Soon I was brought down to solid ground. I was dropped off in the exact same spot as I was lifted from. I looked around to see if my fairy Princess was here but there was no one. It was just me standing in my own shadow, remembering all I had just experienced.

I had the time of my life. Everything I had ever dreamed about I had experienced. My mind was full of contentment and sweet memories. Blue had vanished and I turned towards my house and walked home. As I entered the front door I noticed nothing had changed. Everything was just how I had left it.

Nothing had changed on the outside but my entire spirit had done a 360 turn around. As I drifted off to sleep silhouettes of Mom and Dad’s smiles in their eyes reflected back at me.FairyPrincess

 

 

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Weekly Photo Challenge #Theme of the Week; Postaday

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IN A NEW POST CREATED SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A PICTURE TAKEN DURING THE GOLDEN HOUR.

The day was almost over.

All memories were stored

I stood and looked out over the land

I saw this and I was floored

I had to get the camera

I had to get this shot

For one day when I am older

I can look back at all I got.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

07/12/2013

 

july 4th sky

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I Was Nominated by Yoshiko

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I was nominated by Yoshiko for six awards. If you have never met Yoshiko, please follow this link and meet her. Let her know you stopped by. http://zyoshiko.wordpress.com

Here is a nibble of who she represents in her blog;

I’m a housewife and hope to share my inspirations in my daily walk with Lord Jesus Christ and my own feelings.

My hobby is listening to music, watching movies and dramas, read comics, and drawing.

The awards I was nominated for are;

Best-Moment-Awardsuper-sweet-blogging-award21abc-award11-1shoe most creative awardcolorful loyal reader awardrose of kindness awardThank-you so much Yoshiko. I appreciate these very much. Hugs my friend

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My Testimony

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“Help me, help me” the lady screamed. One leg hanging out the window, her body in a position to jump, but yet wanting to wait to be rescued. Can you picture this scene? We are in trouble and have no way out. We need help, we need to be rescued.

Have any of you ever been in this position? Have you ever felt like you had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn to? Does life just seem like it could not possibly be any better? Did you vision this was your last breathing moments?

Some of us get in this predicament. We live our lives the way we want and then when we can go no farther we scream for help. Is anyone listening? Does your mate, neighbors, families come running when you are in need?

Do you ever wonder when things get down and look real bad if anyone really cares? Does it feel like you knew at any moment the mouth of Jaws was going to swallow you completely?

I have, I am not ashamed to admit it. I don’t think life is fair all the time. I even have days when I wonder when is it going to stop. When is someone going to rescue me? I got myself in my own spots, my own jams.

I listened to others, who really don’t care more than surface caring. I have been so desperate that I would go to anyone who would listen to me rattle on. I quit doing this for the most part.

I still do have a couple of people who I can call day or night. They don’t always tell me what I want to hear, they tell me what I need to hear. It is up to me whether I listen or not. The one person that I am still doing battle with myself in the change department is going to God.

Why do you suppose we leave him for last choice? Is it because we can’t pick up our cell and give him a call? Is it because we are not hearing the words we want to hear? Maybe we just think we can solve it ourselves.

This is the area I am most guilty of. I am doing better but still forget. I was brought up with parents who always said, you made your bed, now lie in it.

In other words, I got myself in my own mess, now get myself out of it alone. This doesn’t have to be the way it is. We can keep ourselves from getting into many messes by doing our prep work first.

When we wake up in the mornings turn to God first. Even if we have a terribly busy schedule in front of us, we can take a moment and ask God to help guide us through our day. Heck you don’t even have to say it out loud. You can ask God from your heart while you are brushing your teeth.

God always listens. He doesn’t turn his back on us. We turn our backs on him. Yet, he never leaves us. I imagine tears falling from God as we once again believe we can do all on our own and go on our own adventures.

Over and over we have shown that we can do nothing without God’s help. I know what others say about God. We came from apes, we were just here, we were just born. It doesn’t matter what others think, for me, I know what I know.

God has shown himself over and over to me in so many instances. He has carried me through Al’s illness. He gives me strength when I am weak. He protects me from the mouths of evil people.

He has provided what I need. I may feel poor at times. I may worry about bills, food, taxes, friendships, relationships, but I have never truly gone without. Even on my worst times, God provided.

There was a time period in my life where I was so insecure you would not have recognized me. I trusted because I didn’t want to be alone. I was left at a motel with five dollars to my name and the first few days paid for.

I didn’t have any food stockpiled in my motel. My partner had the money and I trusted he would come back when he left to run an errand. It didn’t take me long to realize I had been left behind. I had nothing but a suitcase full of clothes and a weeks supply of medications.

I lived by eating my remaining snacks carefully, timing them out through the day. I watched TV and slept but mostly fretted. It came down to where I got sick. I wasn’t eating, my sugars were a mess.

I had no choice but to help myself fix things. Why didn’t God just sweep down and save me? Why did he make me suffer? He was waiting on me to ask him. It was that easy. I finally did that after exhausting every ounce of strength I had. I prayed, I cried and prayed.

I don’t know how I ever did it, but I walked out my motel door and started walking down the row of doors knocking on each one. Either no one answered, or no one cared or whatever the reason, no one helped me.

I hesitated going to the last door. It  was piled with junk on the side-walk. It had garbage piled up out side, but I was hungry and I was getting sick. So slowly I walked up to the door and knocked.

The door opened and a guy took one look at me and pulled me in gently. He sat me at his table. As I discovered he was fixing me something to eat I looked around his room. I am not kidding you when I say his walls were piled high with boxed and canned foods. He had a college type refrigerator for cold foods and drinks.

He whipped me up some fried potatoes on his hot plate. He gave me a left-over slice of ham and a piece of butter bread. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I actually did in a way.

I died myself and gave my entire soul to Jesus. As I gobbled the food the guy said that he was afraid of people. He had some money put a way. He belonged to this church and he stock piled food. He lived through God’s blessings and God’s help.

I admit he sounded a little strange at times but he was sincere and a giant help. He was my angel sent from God. Every morning and night I would receive a knock on my door. There would be the guy with a plate of food, steaming hot and oh so delicious.

I ended up having the time to figure out what I was going to do. I started going with him to his church in his rusty rattly truck. With my angel and God’s guidance I came through this. I didn’t stay there too long. I received help when I needed it so I could remain in my motel.

I was able to reach out to others who cared and followed Jesus. I was so amazed at how poor I was and yet I had the biggest peace inside my soul that I had ever experienced. Now, today, years later, I fail God, who doesn’t? I have strayed but not far. I still try to fix things myself but then I have a V-8 moment and realize I have been counting on the wrong person, me. I then turn to God and pour out my heart and he has carried me through ever since.

This is like a fairy tale I guess, but it is better. We can each have this life. We can give up the constant worries, rid ourselves of our stress. We can do what I do most of the time. Mentally write my concern on a piece of paper and put it in God’s basket and then pray and then smile and continue with my day, because I know God will take care of everything.jesus_in_heaven.jpg

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