My Testimony


“Help me, help me” the lady screamed. One leg hanging out the window, her body in a position to jump, but yet wanting to wait to be rescued. Can you picture this scene? We are in trouble and have no way out. We need help, we need to be rescued.

Have any of you ever been in this position? Have you ever felt like you had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn to? Does life just seem like it could not possibly be any better? Did you vision this was your last breathing moments?

Some of us get in this predicament. We live our lives the way we want and then when we can go no farther we scream for help. Is anyone listening? Does your mate, neighbors, families come running when you are in need?

Do you ever wonder when things get down and look real bad if anyone really cares? Does it feel like you knew at any moment the mouth of Jaws was going to swallow you completely?

I have, I am not ashamed to admit it. I don’t think life is fair all the time. I even have days when I wonder when is it going to stop. When is someone going to rescue me? I got myself in my own spots, my own jams.

I listened to others, who really don’t care more than surface caring. I have been so desperate that I would go to anyone who would listen to me rattle on. I quit doing this for the most part.

I still do have a couple of people who I can call day or night. They don’t always tell me what I want to hear, they tell me what I need to hear. It is up to me whether I listen or not. The one person that I am still doing battle with myself in the change department is going to God.

Why do you suppose we leave him for last choice? Is it because we can’t pick up our cell and give him a call? Is it because we are not hearing the words we want to hear? Maybe we just think we can solve it ourselves.

This is the area I am most guilty of. I am doing better but still forget. I was brought up with parents who always said, you made your bed, now lie in it.

In other words, I got myself in my own mess, now get myself out of it alone. This doesn’t have to be the way it is. We can keep ourselves from getting into many messes by doing our prep work first.

When we wake up in the mornings turn to God first. Even if we have a terribly busy schedule in front of us, we can take a moment and ask God to help guide us through our day. Heck you don’t even have to say it out loud. You can ask God from your heart while you are brushing your teeth.

God always listens. He doesn’t turn his back on us. We turn our backs on him. Yet, he never leaves us. I imagine tears falling from God as we once again believe we can do all on our own and go on our own adventures.

Over and over we have shown that we can do nothing without God’s help. I know what others say about God. We came from apes, we were just here, we were just born. It doesn’t matter what others think, for me, I know what I know.

God has shown himself over and over to me in so many instances. He has carried me through Al’s illness. He gives me strength when I am weak. He protects me from the mouths of evil people.

He has provided what I need. I may feel poor at times. I may worry about bills, food, taxes, friendships, relationships, but I have never truly gone without. Even on my worst times, God provided.

There was a time period in my life where I was so insecure you would not have recognized me. I trusted because I didn’t want to be alone. I was left at a motel with five dollars to my name and the first few days paid for.

I didn’t have any food stockpiled in my motel. My partner had the money and I trusted he would come back when he left to run an errand. It didn’t take me long to realize I had been left behind. I had nothing but a suitcase full of clothes and a weeks supply of medications.

I lived by eating my remaining snacks carefully, timing them out through the day. I watched TV and slept but mostly fretted. It came down to where I got sick. I wasn’t eating, my sugars were a mess.

I had no choice but to help myself fix things. Why didn’t God just sweep down and save me? Why did he make me suffer? He was waiting on me to ask him. It was that easy. I finally did that after exhausting every ounce of strength I had. I prayed, I cried and prayed.

I don’t know how I ever did it, but I walked out my motel door and started walking down the row of doors knocking on each one. Either no one answered, or no one cared or whatever the reason, no one helped me.

I hesitated going to the last door. It  was piled with junk on the side-walk. It had garbage piled up out side, but I was hungry and I was getting sick. So slowly I walked up to the door and knocked.

The door opened and a guy took one look at me and pulled me in gently. He sat me at his table. As I discovered he was fixing me something to eat I looked around his room. I am not kidding you when I say his walls were piled high with boxed and canned foods. He had a college type refrigerator for cold foods and drinks.

He whipped me up some fried potatoes on his hot plate. He gave me a left-over slice of ham and a piece of butter bread. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I actually did in a way.

I died myself and gave my entire soul to Jesus. As I gobbled the food the guy said that he was afraid of people. He had some money put a way. He belonged to this church and he stock piled food. He lived through God’s blessings and God’s help.

I admit he sounded a little strange at times but he was sincere and a giant help. He was my angel sent from God. Every morning and night I would receive a knock on my door. There would be the guy with a plate of food, steaming hot and oh so delicious.

I ended up having the time to figure out what I was going to do. I started going with him to his church in his rusty rattly truck. With my angel and God’s guidance I came through this. I didn’t stay there too long. I received help when I needed it so I could remain in my motel.

I was able to reach out to others who cared and followed Jesus. I was so amazed at how poor I was and yet I had the biggest peace inside my soul that I had ever experienced. Now, today, years later, I fail God, who doesn’t? I have strayed but not far. I still try to fix things myself but then I have a V-8 moment and realize I have been counting on the wrong person, me. I then turn to God and pour out my heart and he has carried me through ever since.

This is like a fairy tale I guess, but it is better. We can each have this life. We can give up the constant worries, rid ourselves of our stress. We can do what I do most of the time. Mentally write my concern on a piece of paper and put it in God’s basket and then pray and then smile and continue with my day, because I know God will take care of everything.jesus_in_heaven.jpg

20 thoughts on “My Testimony

  1. you are so 100%, i was on the ropes so often, but every time i was in deep, i knew he was looking at me, or she as the case is sometimes, for over twenty years i have been in the ring with him, and while we might not win every round, we win every fight, and as you say, when you trust, you really believe, i guess that is the big worry, it’s why the titans of evil as i call them, or those who wish to decieve, sell fear and practice control, the opposite to real love,, thus closing the heart to true and lasting peace inside, you write it well, amen

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    • thank you very much for a wonderful comment. It seems you and I are headed in the right direction. We fight, we lose some, but in the end we are both going to be big winners

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  2. It is a leap of faith that can be so hard to take, and so necessary. God is watching over all of us and waiting only for us to invite him in.
    We are all human, and bound to make mistakes. We forget sometimes that we don’t have to go it alone.

    God bless you, Terry!

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    • Thank you Vivi, I am so content with you knowing how I feel and you know how I feel about faith. You are still comfortable enough to read and comment. This is what I love about you. Sincere to the bone!!!

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      • Terry, we’re the way we are … and I just say what is on my mind – at least to people that knows me – I can seem a bit bold at times … but you know me and I know you – what the rest thinks .. I’m I not going to worry about too much. So long as we understand each other.

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      • and I think we do understand each other pretty darn well!!!! You have been one of my best friends here at WP, and don’t you ever forget it young lady!! LOL

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    • Hopefully I will never mess up so badly that he is not at work in my life, or maybe I should say that I come to the point that I don’t notice. Thank you for the prayers my friend, they help

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