My Own Death Becomes Me


I admit that I think about death and the there after too much. It is hard not to when I am constantly surrounded by people who deal with it. When I am told that Al is really sick. There will come a time when death will be the last thing I think of. Instead I will be thinking, beach, cabins, love and sunshine.

So thus stating this; you will understand my next sentences. I was laying in bed last night. My body ached, so I lie on my back. Suddenly my mind saw a casket.coffin It was my casket. I was imagining what my own funeral would be like.

How would I look to others?

Would there be make-up plastered on my face so I was unrecognizable. What would I be wearing? What clothes would my children pick out for me?

I imagined how comfortable I would be stretched out in my tight-fitting box. Do you think the casket companies can make these in an extra-wide, like they do in shoe sizes? I have a few layers of fat that roll to the side when I lay on my back.

I even noticed that my once perky boobs were now fallen to the side; although my stomach did look flatter.

I practiced positioning myself in my bed as I would be sewn together to stay in place in my casket. I placed my hands over my stomach and closed my eyes. Head facing the ceiling I lay there for only a few moments when I started getting a headache.

I realized than that I can not be buried like the conventional person. I must have changes made for my own personal comfort. When I pictured how it should be I saw a whole different scene play out.

First of all, let’s kick off that granny, print dress.granny dress Let’s change that formal look to one I am more comfortable in. Let’s throw on some shorts and Tees.dukes Let’s get rid of that hair spray and stiff hair that smells of old age and throw in some casual soft curls.hair

Get that thick make-up off of me and just let me be myself, natural. I like a look that you will have no doubt in who I am.

Now take me off my back. After all I don’t want to have to order that extra wide coffin.

And the headaches have got to go. Lay me on my side. Let me prop my head on my arm which is tucked under my pillow.

Get rid of that tiny satin pillow and give me the one I have slept with for so long. After all, this is going to be a long nap I am taking.pillow

Now I want my bible tucked towards the side of my arm. I like to rest my hand on it as I fall asleep.

Make sure you put a couple of cartons of smokes and a few lighters beside me. Just sort of hide them. There may be non-smokers at my funeral and I don’t want to gross them out. I know, they are bad for me, but I have some bad habits, don’t you?

Next, but not last, is the flowers. Make sure I am surrounded by beautiful flowers. No roses please. I am terribly allergic to roses. If I start sneezing and I rise and look around and see those flowers, I will know I have an enemy somewhere in here.rose

Instead just bring some pretty plants and some Lillilyys. I love Lily flowers.

Let’s not have any of that sad organ music. Instead let’s have some of my old-time favorites. My favorite group to listen to when I was a teen was The Carpenters.carpenters

Let’s not cry please. I won’t be providing any tissues. Instead let’s have a party and celebrate my life.fireworks.jpeg

Everyone dance, eat and drink ice-tea or coffee.dance

Let us all rejoice that today is the birthday of my new day in heaven.

I hope that you will all attend, yes you, all of my friends.50's

34 thoughts on “My Own Death Becomes Me

  1. I love the Carpenters! I cried when Karen died. I sleep on my back with my hands on my belly (like they put you in the casket). Kelly says it creeps him out sometimes. So I guess he sort of knows how I’ll look when I leave this world. It’s a good thing too. I want to be cremated. Sandy

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      • It’s really all about expense to me. If I have anything left monetarily that could go to Kelly or my kids, I certainly don’t want a $4000 casket. My dad is in the funeral home business and that’s the average cost if one. The average funeral costs $7000 to $10,000. But that’s why we have choices!! Sandy

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  2. You have it all sorted out .. I promise to dance with your memory *smile – I have to sort out my last wishes too … because nobody there to take care of things.
    A happy and cheerful … last journey is what I want to. Like this post very much.

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  3. why not? i am skipping all this, going to cremation and then the memorial. i have asked for some of the things you have. i want it to be fun, oh sure the whole death thing can be a downer but i hope to some how work around that.

    planning and letting others know what you want is a good thing.

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  4. Terry. Your funeral sounds great. Having 2 chronic life ending diseases, I too have thought out and planned what I like to call “A Memory Party” I too plan to be cremated and I want my ashes scattered in a nearby state forest. I love trees. But for my “Memory Party” I am choosing music and special singers in my life. I am planning food and drink. I plan to have plenty of pictures of my life sitting around and maybe a slideshow playing somewhere. And of course, as a dog lover and rescuer, I have to invite the attendees to bring the furbabies. I hope my family will honor my requests. But if they don’t, I’ll go on home to Jesus and be perfectly happy. πŸ™‚

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      • I am scared, only because I have never experienced the journey myself, but seeing how my dad went so peacefully, releases a little of the fear. I guess what I fear the most is not the dying, it is leaving my children behind

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      • I can’t really say I am scared cause I am looking forward to seeing Jesus. At times during my life, I have had a real longing to go home to heaven, The manner of my death worries me. I am sure that I will probably die of a massive heart attack or from diabetic complications one day, I have ways I don’t want to die…please God no drowning. And I don’t want to bleed to death…been there, almost did that and I have no desire to try it again.

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      • I always assume that I will die from my smoking, or over weight or my diabetes. I don’t want to drown or worse yet be in a fire

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  5. G’day! For me, death is the celebration of life, so is not sad, true!
    Heard a story many years ago and perhaps it might help too!
    On one shore people are crying tears of sadness for their loved one they will never physically see!
    But people who move on are always around thee!
    On the other shore is people who are crying tears of joy in being re-united with their long lost loved ones…
    So death is a matter of perspective and there is no use to be scared as none of us gets out of this life alive…the more we work on accepting what naturally is, but better we are to LIVE life while we are still here as no one is guaranteed another day…
    Hope this helps Terry….and it is natural for us all to think of that impending day…but worries and stress block the beautiful and wonderful people around us that brightened and enlighten our EVERY day! Cheers Joanne
    Looking for some food love on FB too http://www.facebook.com/whatsonthelist

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    • You are so right. Death is spoken here a lot because Al talks about it so much. I keep reminding him how he will be healed and happy and to see Mom and Dad again. It made me start thinking about my own death I guess. You made a very good point, thank you

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  6. I have strict instructions to just make me a crispy critter and toss me or put me on a shelf I don’t really care I won’t be here. No after party n nothing give me your time now as well as flowers and music while I am alive to enjoy after I am gone don;t feel sad for me I am walking with Jesus and singing with the choir πŸ™‚

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    • At first I had to crack up reading about the crispy critter and then the thought of not being able to talk to you anymore made me sad. I know you would be singing with the choir, but I would be here crying over my loss of a friend

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  7. That is quite a list Terry. Love that hair. Wish mine could look like that….oh and that bod. *sigh* πŸ˜‰ I hate funerals and weddings. Too many people. I want to be cremated with a packet of my Voyager menthols…. I nearly said “mentals”..hahaha.

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    • haha, hey, we have enjoyed a good life so why not enjoy a good funeral? I can have what I want then since I am in the final moments of my life? sort of like a human on death row getting that last final request for his or her meal……………..The only time I can handle menthols is when I have Bronchitis!!! other than that give me the nons!! haha

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  8. Pingback: It’s a good day to die. | theseeker

  9. Pingback: Daily Prompt; The Stat Connection | terry1954

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