Keeping My Fingers Crossed

I have written about Al so much lately. I have told you about the terrible Friday through Sunday evening weekend Al had of suffering from his M.S.A.

What I didn’t tell you is that I had a little bit of a melt down Saturday night, alone in my bedroom. I had climbed the ladder and got to the step that said,”We Won”. When Al got so sick those few days, I came crashing down to the bottom step which said,”Get Real”

I had seen with my own eyes how wonderful Al had been the past several days. I quickly let myself believe that our prayers had been answered. So many prayers from a lot of you. God answers prayers and he answered mine.

But then he got worse. I have since learned from Hospice that this will be a common thing. The Hospice nurse told me today that he will have more good days then bad in the beginning and later more bad than good.

So when she and I talked today and I learned that he had an excellent day, I turned around to see if anyone was watching or listening. When I saw Al carrying on a conversation, drinking his pop, and smiling, I swear my heart burst straight out of my chest cavity.

Then I suddenly stopped and remembered back to last weekend when I had my melt down. I thanked God for today being a great day for Al, but I am staying on the step that says get real. The step above it says” Be Happy”. The next step says,” Live for today, enjoy what is in it. Don’t look ahead, just yet.”

So for today I am so happy for Al. I am just keeping my fingers crossed that it last for a few more days.butterflies

38 thoughts on “Keeping My Fingers Crossed

  1. I hope it lasts a few more days too….being a caregiver is no easy task, you are doing a wonderful job loving and caring for him. May you and Al be blessed with many more good days than bad and may you always feel Gods loving embrace around you.


    • Way deep down inside, I know you are right. I just put Al to bed and many tears were shed by him. questions that I was afraid to ask. I will blog about it tomorrow after I get my emotions back in control. hugs my friend


  2. The unpredictability of every day/hour does my head in with Anthony. He can seem amazingly good (mobile, lucid etc.) then suddenly fold in like a crushed leaf, and not be able to walk/speak! So I understand soooooo much, Terry


  3. If you can videotape the good moments so that you have them during the tough times. Look at the photos of the good times and help them to get you through. Play the videos of the good times for both of you especially the funny ones to help you both laugh. You are both in our prayers.


  4. I am so glad for you both, that Al is having a better time of it. You have to live through each moment and wring out every ray of sunshine. As always Terry, you and Al are foremost in my thoughts, dreams & prayers.



  5. Dear dear Terry ~ let’s not forget that God sees the whole picture and that what appears to us horrendous ~is in all honesty greater glory for Al, and you. God is truly intimately involved in his children’s life — whatever God may dictate for today IS REALLY PERFECT !


  6. Pingback: Just Thinking and Thanking | terry1954

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