What I didn’t tell you is that I had a little bit of a melt down Saturday night, alone in my bedroom. I had climbed the ladder and got to the step that said,”We Won”. When Al got so sick those few days, I came crashing down to the bottom step which said,”Get Real”
I had seen with my own eyes how wonderful Al had been the past several days. I quickly let myself believe that our prayers had been answered. So many prayers from a lot of you. God answers prayers and he answered mine.
But then he got worse. I have since learned from Hospice that this will be a common thing. The Hospice nurse told me today that he will have more good days then bad in the beginning and later more bad than good.
So when she and I talked today and I learned that he had an excellent day, I turned around to see if anyone was watching or listening. When I saw Al carrying on a conversation, drinking his pop, and smiling, I swear my heart burst straight out of my chest cavity.
Then I suddenly stopped and remembered back to last weekend when I had my melt down. I thanked God for today being a great day for Al, but I am staying on the step that says get real. The step above it says” Be Happy”. The next step says,” Live for today, enjoy what is in it. Don’t look ahead, just yet.”