If I Didn’t Care

I was writing on my quotes WP page and also put some new music on my music page here on WP. I decided to spend some free time going through the U-tube videos. I came across a group that my Mom loved. They were called the Ink Spots. Some of you older ones may remember this group.

I can remember cleaning the house before my parents got home from work. I would go to that long box on feet and turn the record player on. I would pull out Mom’s 331/3 album and place it gently on the turn table. Placing the needle gently down on the record so as not to scratch it, I would turn it up to the point of almost blowing the speakers.

I would grab the sweeper hose and stand in the middle of the living room on top of the footstool and pretend I was singing into a microphone to the words of this song.

When I looked at this song I got the biggest stab in the heart I have had in some time. It is different from the ones I feel with Al. This stab was a memory stab. Going back in time when life was free and spinning in circles going  nowhere, but yet giggling like there is no worries in this world.

Oh Mom and Dad, how I miss you. It doesn’t matter Mom if you have been gone almost 13 years or Dad if you have been gone for almost six, I feel you  today deep in my gut. The love I carry will never vanish.

I replayed this song twice and then it cut me deep. Our entire family was based on who cares about who and why don’t I feel it.

The words say If I didn’t care.

Was Mom trying to tell me something and I never got it until all these years later? Or was this a song meant for her and my Dad? I know they had a rough start in their marriage. Who wouldn’t when all of a sudden two youngsters were dropped in your lap.

 

MOM

Mom  I will never forget

What you tried to do

Doing the best you could

Coming into this new.

I didn’t give much of a chance

I could have  behaved better

But I am so glad today

That I sat and wrote you that letter.

I am not sure;  but am hoping so

That although you are not here

That you know my heart was true

More than life’s deepest fear.

I hope when my time comes

And I am standing next to you

That you will wrap your arms around me

I will say I care and I love you through and through.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

07/27/2013

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