Weekly Writing Challenge; Fit to Write


DP Challenge, http://dailypost.wordpress.com

Unfortunately for me health issues and worrying about oneself is something I seemed to learn or inherit from my grandmother. I was very aware of every change my body goes through.

To tell you the truth, I hated it. I want to wait for the big signs. The chest pains, the pain running down my arm. My grandma spent more time in the doctor’s office than she did at home, I swear. Her kitchen cabinets were full of medication bottles. I always sensed there was a sense of pride that she owned half the pharmacy.

I promised myself I would not run to the doctor. I would not have shelves that look like this. I wait when I feel something, but in the back of my mind I pray it is nothing. Most of the time my over grown issues were just that.

When my Daddy became sick I drew a way from myself. I focused on his needs up until he drew his last breath. Now that I am taking care of my brother who is also dying from M.S.A. I still don’t have the time to concentrate on me.

This is a good thing. It is never an excellent idea to only see inside your own bubble. Life is moving all around us.

Now when I think of  health I think in the bright lights. I never run for the gray areas of life and play the wonder game. I see what my brother goes through daily. Every minute he endures pain. Tremors, not being able to make limbs move. Going from walking to isolated to a wheelchair.

I see his toughness behind the scene. I would have at one time drove myself crazy if I would have had tremors like him. To not be able to walk? I would have been on the biggest pity party boat ride.

Now I watch birds, I smell the fresh air, I watch for our leaves to turn in the early fall. I watch for signs from my brother that he is bearing the moment. I see a smile and my heart burst open.

I hear him talk about things he used to do and I cry. I hear him beg to die and go to heaven to see Mom and Dad and my body crumbles.

Health to me now is living. Having an opportunity, one more chance to recognize how lucky I am to be alive. Health is a wonderful way to share what you have with others. To give a good word, a hug, a card, a visit, a small token. Anything I can do to offer one heart to another is healthy  today.

This style of living has improved my mental health, my physical health and my own personal views on other people’s lives.

I am one lucky person. I have had chance after chance to heal myself and with God’s help and me opening my eyes to souls that are much worse off than I have ever been, I am not bad at all today.sunlightcaregiver

17 thoughts on “Weekly Writing Challenge; Fit to Write

  1. I’m still praying for you and Al. I thinks of you guys often. You are a world-champion sister, for sure! Al is very fortunate. I hope things are working better for you guys with insurance, etc.

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  2. So beautiful said, Terry 🙂 I’m sorry, I can’t take away the pain, but my purrayers are still with the both of you. Pawkisses 🙂
    I’m far behind reading, Terry, but I try to catch up on your posts now. Take care 🙂

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  5. Very moving. Thank you for sharing. I agree, part of health is being able to reach out to others with help, support, prayers …. Health is not always about medical or mental health but about spiritual health as well.

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  6. Very touchy story. So sorry for your Dad and especially your brother. You are doing a great job as a sister. Thanks for sharing your story.

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