Within two hours this morning I had changed a complete bed for Al because of his excessive sweating. Hospice was here this mid-morning. There were several phone calls on her end, many conversations with Al and now he is on his way to the Hospice house. They are going to try to adjust medications or find something to help Al’s tremors and see if they can get him to get some sleep.
In two days he has eaten about 20 % total each day. I packed some items for him. Clothing, shaver, tooth-brush, and of course three vintage cars.
And ambulance came and got him at 1pm and took him out on the gurney. I kept telling Al that he would be back in a few days. I told him like a broken record that I loved him.
When I could no longer stretch my neck anymore and see the ambulance I came back inside. Quiet, empty. I know that he will be back, God willing. I know he will be alright, he will be back before I know it. I just need to keep telling myself this.
We think it is the tremors that are causing him to not eat. As far as wanting to go to heaven, that is still utmost in his mind. Not being able to walk or barely stand is the M.S.A. I guess it is a combination of every part of this nasty illness.
Every web site I read about M.S.A. all state several things in common. The most frequent sentence I read is it is the worst debilitating disease I have ever seen. I am afraid I have to agree with this. It not only cuts your life short. It takes a way your dignity and pride and everything you could ever do before.
Last night there was a point when he said, ” I can see Mom. Her hand is reaching down to me.”
I gulped a little and said,” well Bud, just reach out and grab it. I will be alright. I want you to be able to get a new body and trade this in.”