The Battle


I don’t know how the body works. I can’t figure out how you can take such high doses of medications, guaranteed to make you go to sleep land, but it doesn’t happen. This was my brother last evening.

He had only an hour and a half sleep the night before. He was a wake all day long except a small cat nap. He was wired. Not from the medications but from the tremors.Butterfly-butterflies-9186479-500-500 He was like a beautiful butterfly never-resting. Visiting each flower, never stopping, never staying.

As I sat there watching him I suddenly got angry. Some of you may agree with what I am about to say. Yet others will think bull crap. No matter, I have to write what I believe. I realized the fight that was going on for Al and me.

Not only are we fighting this terrible M.S.A. we are fighting the dignity battle, the loss of what one was able to do and still remember it. The depression that kicks in, lack of eating. I could go on and on but why bore you.

What I realized is there was someone outside our box that was having a kick-ass good time at Al and my expense. There was a thing, a person, a particle that was interrupting our lives and it dawned on me it was none other than Satan.satan

I had to look outside the box. I had to get the best picture my brain could focus on.

There is a lot of talk about God in our house. Heaven and death are mentioned multiple times throughout the day. Al is getting closer to meeting God and Satan is throwing a fit.

How do we fight Satan? How do we not give in when we can barely understand something we have never seen? Faith, yes, this is the answer. The word of reading God’s word brings us strength in God.

People praying is another way to remain strong. Al and I have people all over the world praying. Oh Satan you just don’t like this party you have attended do you? Admit it, you have had your grasp on us so many times, but it is frightening you right now.

You can feel it, you can see it, that God is going to win this one. You will be the big loser you filthy beast. You will rot in hell as you have been promised.

Al was staring at me and I kept asking him what was it that he needed. He didn’t answer. He would just tremor, cry and look into my eyes. God must have whispered in my ear, or one of our angels was near me.AnimatedAngel

I got up and went and got my Bible. I brought it back to Al’s bedroom.

Silently I prayed to God. I can’t remember which verses Lord  I need to be reading in order to help Al. Please take over and help me flip to the right verses. Thank-you God ahead of time for answering this prayer.

I started with a couple of Psalms that I had been told about by a blogging friend.

Then I started flipping to pages and would come across a verse here and there that I thought may help.

I read to Al for about fifteen minutes. I stopped after the last verse and looked up at Al and he was quiet. His tremors were at rest. His head was even laying against the pillow. He was on his back looking peaceful and asleep.

I laid my bible down and looked at the clock. It was almost 1:00. God had helped me to find the way to bring rest for Al. It seemed to easy, and it probably was if I would have just considered my options.

Instead, I had been stressing about how I was going to get some sleep. I am not going to lie. I am tired as I read this. Way before the sun could begin to rise Al called out to me. But, thanks to God I had a few hours of sleep instead of one.

Life is new today. Al and I will have battles to fight. But for three hours during the wee hours of the night, the war between Satan and God was over. There was peace and rest. God had lowered a soft covering of closed eyes. He had blanketed Al with sleep dust and we slept.

Thank-you Lord for carrying us through the night. I know you are always here if I would just ask you will do everything for our good. I get too wrapped up in my earthly body. I stress and I probably will stress again. I cry out and I know I will continue. I hurt and I am tired, but so is Al. We are creatures that do not deserve your love Lord, but you give it to me any ways. Thank-you for dying on that cross for Al and me.

19 thoughts on “The Battle

  1. God has blessed you with wisdom. The spoken word of God has great power. Meditating on the word of God brings peace to me when nothing else does. It breaks the power of flashbacks in my PTSD and calms my anxiety over things currently happening. May God continue to bless you.

    Like

    • God is powerful and loving. I am ashamed that I do not go to him more often. I have continued to grow in my faith but have a long ways to go. Thank you for being a good friend

      Like

  2. AMEN!!! You go, girl!! May the Lord continue to strengthen and keep you, let His face shine upon you and Al, and bring you that perfect peace, which surpasses all understanding. One of my favorite Psalms is 91–He will not allow our feet to be dashed on a stone!

    Like

  3. My dear Terry, Al’s liver is not functioning properly anymore and therefore it is extremely difficult to get the medication to work. The dosages will increase further. It will not kill him. It will just scare you. Hospice will amend the meds to improve the restlessness. Just mention it to them. We prayed Vic into Heaven. You will do the same for Al. Much love and

    Like

  4. You did good!…you remembered where our blessings and answers come from!…hard to do when stressed to the limit!… Quiet music sometimes is so relaxing…just playing low in the background…My sister and her daughter played some quiet hymns when her husband was at his worst…and it calmed him…and everyone else who were there with her…worth a try!…

    Like

  5. Pingback: I Can Never Say Thank-You Enough to My Friends | terry1954

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.