Daily Prompt; Can’t Drive 55



Daily Prompt

Take the third line of the last song you heard, make it your post title, and write for a maximum of 15 minutes. GO!

Photographers, artists, poets: show us SPEED.

This is one time I have to admit I hear the radio. I hear it playing while I am driving down the road. I went to Wal-Mart and got a few groceries because I knew I wouldn’t get out of the house for a few days.

What did I hear? What was the last song I heard? The truth is I have no idea. I don’t take notice of where my mind is wandering, but obviously it does. I refuse to believe that at my age my memory is becoming unglued.846-02796238

I bet that my mind goes fifty-five miles per minute instead of hour. I bet I think of all kinds of things. Tossing them around my brain. Letting them in and out like a two-way door.

I thought I did pretty good. I didn’t even have a list to take with me and yet got everything I needed.

Eggs, cat litter, apple juice, cookies, lasagna, for an easy meal tonight, and a  package of cold cuts for lunch this weekend.

So what song did I listen to last? Who knows, and really I don’t care, or I would have written down on paper or stored it in my memory box.

I do like the title of this prompt. Can’t drive 55. Wasn’t that the song by Sammy Hagar? Yes, it is. I found it. Here it is.

Now that brings me some real smiles. Good times, free nights and weekends. Running around with the windows down. Hair flying out the window. Curfew of midnight on weekends. Boyfriends, laughter, beaches, telephone calls. Oh those were the days. Oh yeah.

Here is a picture of the first car I bought for $100.00. It was my baby. It was even black just like the photo. I had an AM radio and with gas at 17 cents a gallon I could fly everywhere I wanted to go.ford falcon

I Want, I Need

I was feeling my heart breaking a little as the nurse told me Al‘s face changed when they told him he was coming home today. Yes, he will be brought home around 5 this afternoon.

My first thoughts were sadness. He doesn’t want to see me? Don’t I do everything I can for him? Why doesn’t he want to come home?

The nurse said they spoiled him.  Well, I spoil him also. The nurse said he was feeling better. The doctor said it will be up to me how well he continues to feel at home. Based on what he is allowed to do. The only time he was out of bed was for a shower. He even ate in bed.

I guess I am going to have to face this sooner. Talking to him about his activities. Maybe he is not crazy about me. After all I am the sister. They were nurses and strangers. Someone new.

You can tell that I am struggling on accepting this. I wish they would not have told me to be quite honest. I know that I don’t spend every minute with him. If I did, the house would not be cleaned, laundry and cooking set aside. Rhino would not be fed. Dishes would pile up.

I am getting too hung up on this crap and I want to stop feeling this way. I am having a talk with myself but when he gets here it will all come flooding back.

No matter how much I love him I must have space. I can’t sit in his room every  minute he is a wake. I need to breathe. Is this wrong? He watches TV quite a bit by  himself. I don’t really care for his shows and he doesn’t want to sit much out here in the living room.

I wonder if he is going to want to go to Day Program tomorrow or wait until Tuesday after the holiday.

Now my stomach is getting all messed up. Sometimes I hate myself for being such a mushy grown-up. I have to be me while I take care of him. I want to do a good job and I want him to know that I love him.

I have two hours and he will be home.shocked_womanbook4

What Would You Do?

What would you do? I have had plenty of sleep and therefore I have plenty of open space to think. If you knew that you were going to cause physical pain by allowing Al to continue to go to Day Program would you let him go? Would you take him out to eat on his good days?

Would you keep him home and bed bound pretty much? Would you consider as I have what that will do to  his emotional state of mind?

While he has been at the Hospice House he had been bedridden. His tremors have slowed down with a new medication. He continues to sweat but not as bad. The doctor says he can’t get the sweating or tremors to stop permanently.

He is considering when sending Al home with some sort of pump for medication. He states that when Al is active he is going to go back to the way he was this past weekend.

I am not able to make a decision because I can see how I would be if I was pretty much stuck to a bed.

To me there is more involved here than his physical state. I can not ignore the fact that he is slipping a way. So what do I do with the time he has remaining. Let him live? Consider his mental capacity that he may not quite understand that he will suffer?

I am rambling on and saying the same thing over, so now I want to read your thoughts please.waterfalls