What I suspected was confirmed by the nurse. The illness, M.S.A. is more powerful than medications. The medicine quit working already.
It is up to Al whether he wants to continue to go to the day program or not. He will suffer from going, but I have to wonder which suffering will be worse? His suffering from M.S.A. or the alternative suffering from being bed bound.
A call was placed to the Hospice doctor. I hated it. They are considering upping his pain patch and pain liquids. Al is getting closer to not being able to determine what is going on around him.
This was always my worst nightmare of all. The icing on the cake. Seeing him get to the point of being out of it. He is refusing supper as he did lunch. He did eat a part of a banana muffin earlier and I talked him into drinking an ensure mixed with ice-cream.
Darn, darn, darn this illness. When I heard Al telling the nurse through sobs, ” I don’t want to live anymore. I am tired of this crap. The next time Mom reaches her hand down from heaven, I am grabbing hold of it. I am ready to go.”