Third Night’s a Charm

I know what people mean when the describe the good and the bad days, when there is a terminal illness. I have seen them both. It used to be good days most of the time. Now it is good days part of the time mixed up with a couple bad drinks swallowed leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

When Al came home from the Hospice house it was let’s throw a party time. Decorate the bedroom with coca cola streamers. Put the party hats on. Get the blow horns out. By Sunday the new medication that he was put on disappeared. It was like a magic show that stopped short in the middle of the act.magic showparty hats Put the party hats a way, tear down the streamers, because the party has just moved on.

Put on the sad face.sad-face Place the night-cap on because it is going to be a long night.night cap

This is exactly what happened Sunday and Monday evenings.

I didn’t go outside and enjoy the stars.flashing star I didn’t sit around the campfire shooting the shit.july 4th firepit

I stayed inside and listened to screams of wanting to die. I heard moans of pains.

The tremors and sweating were back in full force. Monday they were not quite as bad, but because of Al not having a Sphincter muscle sphincter muscleand the amount of pain pills he takespain pills he became constipated yesterday.constipation-3

After trying all the prescriptions I had on hand for him, plus the prune juice, apple juice and M.O.M. I was forced to once again call the nurse.telephoneNURSE JACKIE

It took a while but with the help of her and what she brought, Al found some relief.

Two nights in a row, we didn’t get to bed until 1a.m. Two nights in a row the Hospice nurse has been here.

Two nights in a row Al and I fell into bed exhausted.

I tried to get him to stay home today from day program, but he would not consider it. He was more like a rag doll this morning. Slow, mushy and no expressions.rag doll

I am hoping that he is laying back in his new wheelchair snoozing and I can tell you that I am hitting the couch as soon as I say goodbye to all of you.

I still have faith though. I have faith that this illness, M.S.A. needs a break and that tonight, it will be better.

Good night friends, I am off for a nap.

28 thoughts on “Third Night’s a Charm

  1. I do hope sleep will come your way so you can feel rested, my friend. Count sheep…ok, that’s what I told my youngest son yesterday so never mind that 🙂 But I am sending good thoughts your way for rest and for peace and of course, healing for Al.


  2. I’m really at a loss of words here my friend. Let’s just look for little miracles, they come in so many different forms. And let’s hope the first will be something or someone who can rejuvenate your heart, soul, and weary body…for your own sake of health, and so you can go on tending to your brothers needs as best as you can. I’m sure he appreciates you!


  3. Whatever you do to Al is borne out of love; nothing or nobody can question or stop that, but please my friend, leave something for yourself. I see that you need rest, nap and whatever re-energizing there may be. Remember, you can only be as useful to Al as you are to yourself. Having said those words, I am sorry. I am praying to the Good Lord to show some miracles now, however discreet, we want it for you and Al just the same. Terry, my friend, you are so fortunate. Everybody loves you.


    • thank you so much Maxim. Rest is hard to come by but I keep trying. When Al is not here the delivery people for medications are, or briefs or something. Or bills to be paid, meals to prepare or groceries to buy. I need some sleep


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