Another Old Day


Please forgive me for continuing on the same topic day after day. I try adding some variety by writing poetry because I know I am digging the bucket deeper in the sand speaking about Al so much, but it just seems I can’t help it.

This morning I got him up and he had that stare face again. He didn’t motion to try to get up. No body parts moved. I immediately asked him if he was alright and would he like to stay home.

He must have feared staying home because he tried real hard to move but nothing went. It was like someone poured cement over him through the night. I pulled him to the sit position and changed his brief and out to the table we went.

I sang a silly made-up song maybe partially to deter my own sorry mind, but also to try to get a response out of his masked face.mask

Once he was seated at the table the first words out of his mouth were, ” I don’t want any breakfast.”

” Oh bud can’t you find it in yourself to eat something small so you can take your medications on a full stomach?”

He ignored me. I started rambling off a list of things he had choices of for breakfast.breakfast_menu_06 Eggs, french toast, waffles, sausages, fried bologna sandwich, toast, pancakes. Nothing seemed to interest him. Then I had to dig deep, and be creative. I looked to the forbidden sweets list. I named cookies, pound cake, ice-cream, donuts and cherry turnover.

Bingo, he stirred on Cherry Turnovers. I had been to the grocer yesterday and these were on sale so I picked them up for his sweet tooth. I thought, this isn’t good starting off with sweets, but what the hell. If he is wiling to eat it, then so be it.cherry turnover

He ate all of this and a small glass of milk.

I got him cleaned up and dressed.

The weather changed so quickly he had to wear a jacket this morning. I placed him in front of the television so he could bitch about the news. I cleaned up the kitchen and packed his lunch and put his car in his bag for his show and tell and when I put it on the back of his wheelchair, he was sound asleep.

I know there are no real answers about Al’s illness but I have a gut instinct. People say we should listen to our own gut feelings. If I do this now, I would have to say Al doesn’t have much time left. Therefore I will focus my energy trying to dote on him, making him as comfy as possible and I will continue to pray for peace and comfort as we ride this ride into heaven.amber-waves

38 thoughts on “Another Old Day

    • health, vitamins, weight loss are crammed so much down our throats, we are mesmerized without even knowing it. when i thought of the sugary, no nutrition breakfast, I shivered, and then i though, oh well, he is eating!

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  1. You’re doing such an incredible job Terry. It reminds me to treat my own brother each day as if it’s his last one with compassion and respect as he lives his journey with Lewy Body Dementia.

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    • illness is no picnic at the lake for sure. We learn from illness, don’t you agree? We learn compassion, joy and the definition of love and patience. Thank you for the wonderful comment my friend

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  2. I had an Uncle that passed away after suffering through Alzheimers. At the end of his life there was no quality left. The only thing he still enjoyed was sweets. For Christmas my Mother had made some eggnog. He kept asking for more so I have him all that he could drink. He truly enjoyed that eggnog. He left this earth a few weeks later.
    I guess my point is, being alive is not the same as living. Let him find pleasure where he can. You’ll be glad you did.

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  3. Please don’t apologise, or stop posting how your day goes. I log on so often and each time check to see if there is an update on how Al and yourself are doing. We want to know.

    I also am quite sure you did the right thing by appealing to Als sweet tooth. I think there is a time and place for strict diets – and this isn’t it. I remember being so angry when they told me that my Dad had only a few weeks left to live, yet they took the steroids away as they would ‘eventually have an impact on his life expectancy’. I know the doctors have to cover themselves by following strict guidelines, but surely common sense must rule. I’m glad Al enjoyed his turnovers.

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  4. You’re doing what’s right Terry, don’t worry about anything but focus on those things that really matter~ relationship ~family ! You’ll have no regrets over this choice dear.

    “God is weaving his tapestry according to his own grand design. All flesh is in his hands. It is not our prerogative to counsel him. It is our responsibility and our opportunity to be at peace in our minds and in our hearts, and to know that he is God, that this is his work, and that he will not permit it to fail.

    “We have no need to fear. We have no need to worry. We have no need to speculate. Our imperative need is to be found doing our duty individually in the callings which have come to us” (“He Slumbers Not, nor Sleeps,” Ensign, May 1983).

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  5. You are Al’s angel, and you are doing the only thing you can do, Terry. Therefore it is the right thing. Regrets are a burden no one should carry when they have done all they could and done it from their heart – exactly what you have done and are still doing. So what if Al has sugary things for breakfast. At this stage it won’t make an ounce of difference to his health, but it will make a difference in his ability to experience some enjoyment in eating. Just keep following your heart and you will be doing what is best for Al. God bless you both and strengthen you in body, soul and spirit as you travel this difficult road.

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