I Am Grouchy


Today is not one of my better days. Although I have been trying to stay upbeat it is getting harder as the day goes by. Al has been home today. He is weepy as most days. He seems a little confused.

He didn’t know which way to turn to get into his bed. He even called me mom. Generally, I make some sort of joke about what he says but today I am more irritated with everything. I think I need a break.

I don’t feel the best. Having some pains here and there. Discouraged because I had to turn the furnace on. I just absolutely hate winter and everything about it here where I live. Dreary, cold, ugly, way too much snow, windy. This is the day today.

I got Al into bed for his nap. I actually had been in his room fifteen minutes and asked him if he needed anything and he said no. Just moments later he calls me back in, letting me know he was ready to lay down.

Routines, schedules, I just want to scream. What is with the schedule of he can only nap at 3pm?

Of course I know what it is but days like this I don’t like it. He used to always take his nap at 3, not a minute before or after. Supper has to be ready at 5. He wants in bed by midnight.

I finally came out here and ran to U-tube where I find solace away from my problems. I went to a man who I like to listen to. Maybe you will enjoy him also.

So many tell me I am amazing, a great sister. See? I can be grouchy too.

empty-eyesFINAL

32 thoughts on “I Am Grouchy

  1. Just because you get grouchy doesn’t mean you are not a great sister. You are a great person as you continually show. You are allowed to take some time to throw cups at the walls and bash tins trays on your head, stamping your feet and screaming “I want an ice cream” So don’t panic 🙂

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  2. Perfectly normal to have days like this…wonder if you might get someone from Hospice to stay with Al a couple of hours so that you can go get your hair done or a mani-pedi or even just drive and take nature photos…something that will help you get away from it all for a bit. You are tired and stretched thin, God bless you and have a beautiful day.

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  3. yes we tell you that you are a great sister because you are. that doesn’t mean you aren’t human. we all need a break from time to time. that is how we are able to keep going in these difficult times. think of the soldiers in battle. when i was in the army we got short “r and r” periods. that means rest and recuperation. it was to help us fight battle fatigue. you are experiencing battle fatigue and need to check in to respite care for al. this would give you a break.

    being a good sister means taking care of yourself as well as al.

    big warm hugs and love to you terry

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    • hello my dear friend. I am enjoying reading your material and I received that special email you told me I was. Yes, I need a break. I am going to talk to Hospice about it Thursday when I see them. Love to you dear one. Big hugs!!! You are a trooper. I gain from your strength

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  4. You are an amazing woman!! I wish you had more help. Never doubt yourself, you are human, you are as God made you. Hang in there, sweetie! I pray for you and Al. You are loved, too!!

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  5. Terry, of course you are allowed to be in any way you want … it want change your feelings and love for Al. And you are allowed to have your sepia days … so often as you want. You such a massive responsibility to master everyday .. and not able to relax properly. You need your downtime too.
    My thoughts are with you.

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