28 | November | 2013

Yesterday was awful, last night was terrible. Al got worse as the day wore on. By last night he was screaming he was on fire. Tears never stopped and I could not seem to bring the pain down.

I ended up calling Hospice around 11pm. At 1am a nurse showed up. She could see his pain and she called the doctor on call. I had never dealt with this doctor and I swear if I ever see her face to face I will have my way with her through words.

She ordered the nurse to give Al double one of his strong pain medications. In less than half an hour Al went nuts. He was screaming and crying. He swore his body was going to burn up. He began to hit himself wildly.

I couldn’t take it. I made her call that doctor back. The doctor then ordered twice the amount of that pain medication. I said absolutely not, hell no, no way. Find another doctor. Well there was no other doctor.

She reported that I would not do as requested so the doctor ordered him to take an extra pill that he usually takes. It is a calming pill. It seemed to work and he fell asleep. He slept for half an hour then was wide a wake, like wired.

The nurse called another nurse and she went home leaving me to wait here with Al for another hour. By now it was after 4am. The new nurse couldn’t seem to do anything with Al. His heart was racing at 282 beats per minute.

It was obvious to me that Al’s burning body was due to the heart going wacky from internal tremors inside the chest wall lining. When the nurse could do no more she called that same doctor back.

The doctor ordered him into the Hospice House. The ambulance came and got him and left at 6am.

I went to sleep with tears streaming and slept for four hours. Now it is time to start final preparations for Thanksgiving dinner. All I can say today is I miss Al so much. I am dead tired, but I am thankful he is still alive on Thanksgiving Day. He may not be here physically with me but he is in my thoughts constantly.