I haven’t felt good all day. I have been cold. I have some sort of sniffles. My sugars have been low. Last night here at home Al and I had a different type of evening. Al was very calm. He spoke of wanting to make sure I got a Christmas gift from him to remember him by.
He talked about how he had forgiven family who had hurt him terribly. By the end of the evening it was five in the morning when he finally drifted off to sleep. The last words he spoke in that conversation were I see the ladder going to the sky.
It smacked me hard. Maybe he was right. Maybe he really wasn’t going to be here for Christmas. I went to my couch and laid down and got three hours of sleep before he called out to me in pain.
This morning though Al is a different person. Very chatty, laughing, smiling. He talked about his conversation with God last night. He spoke about my Christmas gift from him and asked the care giver if she would go purchase it for him. He spoke of the ladder to heaven in a very calm tone.
Since I didn’t feel well and still not top-notch I am laying on the couch more and watching the Inspiration Channel. There is a movie I have been glued to called One Last Christmas. I am always drawn to movies where there is an underdog. An ill patient.
It is almost over and then the theme song came on. Suddenly I started crying. The words in the song were exactly the same as my own thoughts were last night. This child has leukemia and doesn’t make it to Christmas. It is too close to home as Al feels the same way.