Beautiful Christmas Cards From Wonderful Friends MSA & WordPress


It is the season to be joyous. It is the season to be with friends and family. Being in my home most of the time I never dreamed I would spend the Christmas season along with Al, my children and so many friends from the MSA Facebook sites and WordPress.

I wish I could somehow express myself in other ways for how thankful I am for you sending Al and me these beautiful cards. But alas, the only way I know is to say a big thank-you.

I was just at the hospital visiting Al. They are still adjusting medications. The doctor, Hospice and I are all involved with his care.

It was very stressful to my heart as I walked down the hall to hear my brother calling out.” I’m on fire, I’m on fire. Please Lord, I want to die.”

I walked in and he was no different from when he was here at home. Before I left the nurse was giving him one of his pain pills.

Al expressed to me that he was going to stop eating. If they didn’t give him a shot to let him die, he would starve himself. He did eat 25% of his lunch while I was there. This is about the most he has eaten in a few days.

I had them weigh him since I haven’t known his weight in a few months. He has lost another 17 pounds. All together at this point he has lost 62 pounds.

Yesterday the Hospice nurse and I had that conversation which I posted about last evening. Today, she has changed her mind. She said Al is declining. The doctor said the same thing. They believe a lot of it is his attitude. I tend to agree but only because the pain is so high.

I told them I want him to go to sleep. I told them to listen to me and hear what Al says. I explained how I felt about his quality of life all over again. So far all they are doing is adding one more pill to the two that he already takes.

I know it takes time to see if this or that works, but I can barely deal with hearing those words come out of his mouth. He is just plain miserable, there are no other words for it. I have to wonder how I would be feeling if it were me laying there with MSA. I may be wanting to die too.

It brought me some comfort that all of them listened to Al say the words he was speaking. They could not blame his remarks on my tiredness any longer. I think it opened up their eyes that he is serious. To him this is no game nor is it temporary.

I told the doctor if he can get Al comfortable, that this is my only wish for Christmas this year. He gave me a hug and the nurse gave me a hug. I didn’t want the hugs, I didn’t say what I did for any reason other than the truth.

Maybe because so many families can’t or won’t care for loved ones they are in awe of my involvement. I don’t know the reasons for anything anymore.

I don’t know what makes family refuse to call, text, or turn their backs on situations like this. I don’t get any pleasure out of going through this alone. All I know is that when Al passes I have no guilt to carry.

Caregivers go through so many emotions. So many questions as to why things and people act as they do. But I do know one thing for sure. I have a huge, huge support group through MSA and here at WordPress. Believe me, I could not have done this thus far without the strength that you have given to me.

Always remember that I will never forget those phone calls from MSA patients. I will never forget all of the Christmas cards from those that were once strangers but are now a part of Al and my life. The gifts that Al has received and me also are priceless. I want to thank Marilyn for the wonderful gift package she sent and I received yesterday. It was definitely a surprise, a nice one. Not only have you driven all the way here to meet us, you have forever remained in Al’s mind with the coca cola hat. Now on top of all that you have done for us, you send us gifts. Bless you for being the woman you are.

I pray with all my heart that Al is here for this Christmas, but if he isn’t, I know he will be looking at the brightest star on any tree. I know that he will be standing beside our parents, and I know without a doubt he will be smiling down at me and standing by himself totally free of pain.

I hope all of you take a moment and thank who ever it is that you thank, but do it, be grateful for that grouchy family member. Be grateful that your parents are still alive, or that those noisy cousins were sitting at your Christmas dinner table.

I have three children. One is definitely going to be here. One will not and the other has never let me know anything. So for this Christmas I will give thanks that I can breathe. That I can see and touch and feel. I have so much to be thankful for and believe me I will be giving my own personal thanks to God.

I want to thank;

McGrandma Paul from NC for a beautiful silver angel card.

Sandy R. from NC for Al’s coca cola bottle ornament. He is loving it.

The Culbreth Memorial UMC Children’s and Youth Choir, NC. A lovely card signed by Nolan, Ethan, Austin, Hailey, Reagon, Elizabeth, Cailin and  Jennifer.

Lucy D. from VA for the beautiful Christmas wreath card.

Pam Bower, from Canada. Pam is one of the most important people in MSA patients lives. What a blessing that I have come to know her.

Ron and Carol D. from NC, what a beautiful Christmas tree and fireplace.

Thank-you all for making Al and my holiday much brighter. You are all truly angels in our lives.christmas tree 4

 

26 thoughts on “Beautiful Christmas Cards From Wonderful Friends MSA & WordPress

  1. You are welcome for the small gifts Terry…and it is so great to have our blogging friends…
    I tell people all of the time about these great friends I have but, have never seen…I thank God that I had the opportunity to come in contact with you and get to visit and meet Al and yourself…You and Al were just as I pictured and immediately felt a bond …Funny how that is…
    Best to you in the weeks to come…and have a Blessed Christmas with Al and your family…

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  2. I had a response from Coca Cola today. but they didn’t read it. This was their response:

    Thank you for contacting The Coca-Cola Company, Mr. Forbes. We appreciate your interest in our Company.

    You may wish to contact the field office responsible for your area for information. Their name and address are:
    yadda yadda

    So I think I will call them tomorrow and see what can be done

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  3. What a beautifully written letter Terry, I can tell it comes from the heart and with so much passion and gratitude. I’m wishing for the same thing you are , that Al is comfortable and that he can smile and find some small thing to be thankful for on Christmas day. I know it has to be difficult to feel thankful for much of anything when you suffer physically and emotionally like your brother does, and you, as well, for that matter. But still, you’re seeing first hand just how wonderful and compassionate even total strangers can be.

    Please wish Al a very Merry Christmas from me if you will, and know that I’m wishing the same for you plus a very merry life in the new year to come. You are such a deserving sister and friend, I love you for all the compassion you show your sweet brother, and especially for all the care giving you give him. You know, I miss being that angel on my dads shoulder, as he’d say, doing all I could to make life comfortable for him, and bearable for him and his broken heart ever since mom died.

    Caregivers are a breed of their own, and unless others have walked in our shoes, few could ever understand the loneliness we sometimes go through by not having any other person here to help us out. But then, that’s just a small emotional sacrifice in an ocean of many that we actually make because we love the one we care for. Terry, your ocean is full and the waves are seariously mounting, so I’ll pray for you to find more peaceful moments to clear your weary mind, and that you will be able to rest your tired body more so, so that you can forge your way through this journey to the very end.

    Merry , Merry Christmas Terry and Al…luv ya both!

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  4. Our prayers are with you and Al, and this is the season of angels and heart moments. I am grateful for the love that surrounds both of you.
    I an grateful for my kids and grandkids who make sure hubby knows he is loved.
    We have two care givers who come in different times of day when I need help with hubby, and they have been with us for a while now. They are family to us and we are grateful for them.
    Hugs

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  5. Thank you for you beautiful message, Terry. I pray Al will be at peace. That he will be able to rest comfortably and still be there for Christmas. God bless you!

    Like

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