Ideas Anyone?


I loved it that Al was chatty today, but I hate what is happening inside. We are becoming quite constricted on what Al can eat anymore. Solid foods are out. puree and mashed is in. Red sauces are out, causing him heartburn because he barely eats. Creamy foods, puddings and ice-cream and milk make his mucus worse, thus he chokes and coughs.

All I seem to be able to feed him is mashed potatoes. Tonight he ate about five bites of macaroni and cheese. He was able to eat it, but it was a bit of a struggle for him. He is so thirsty the past three days. He just can’t seem to get enough fluids.

I was explained to that at this time of his life thirst is a big issue. I am not sure why. If any of you know let me know please.

His arms are contracted so that they always look like he is praying. I keep putting them to the side of his body but they just creep back to the center of his trunk.

He didn’t do bad today. I didn’t hear much complaining. Mainly heartburn and his heels hurting. His heels are constantly on pillows but he is complaining of foot pain. I also was told that at this stage of a person’s life, with his oxygen level being now 74, that he will feel a tingle in his feet from lack of circulation.

What else will happen before he is out of pain? I don’t know, but I am hoping that some of you thinkers out there can help me with a more appealing menu for him. I will be going to the grocery store tomorrow or Sunday.

Thanks ahead of time. I know some of you will give me some great ideas.mashed-potatoes-520

64 thoughts on “Ideas Anyone?

  1. I know when my husband was passing his thirst became great. All I could do was try and satisfy it by giving him all the water I could. It also seemed to help if given with a straw. I am not sure about the menu thing maybe some soups or broths with a straw as well? Jello? Or jello water? I know not appealing but if he can get it down that is what counts as long as he wants it. The closer time gets the less he will want to eat until he refuses all together. I know hospice told me that vision is the first sensory to go hearing is last. And thus proved to be true. He had hallucinations and seen people who had already passed on. This is a sign that it would be very soon as he is seeing them as they are calling him home. Unless he is holding on for some reason such as making sure your ok. Or not seeing someone he wants to see so called unfinished business. They will hang on for such things. My husband stopped having to go to the bathroom all together and his blood pressure dropped. He slipped into a coma but that was due to his particular illness. I was only able to make him as comfortable as possible and just watch and wait for that moment as there was nothing more that could be done and it was a for sure thing. That was the worst and I feel for you sweety and know what you may be feeling and going through. Not exactly but in the end it is all the same end result. I could not even touch him as touch hurt him. I wish there was something I could do to take all this pain away from the both of you. Hospice told me they almost always request a last meal usually a favorite right before it happens. I do not mean to upset you any more than you already are and please do not take this in a ill way. I mean no harm just giving you some info that I wish I would of had before the last two days of my husbands life. I continue to pray for Al’s peace and yours alike. I would say maybe puddings but it may be too thick for him and make him choke not sure. Clear liquids is what may be best for him right now. Beef and chicken broths and soups jellos and liquids of any sort as long as they are not too thick. Take care of yourself as well that is very important even if it is to step outside and take a deep breath of fresh air you need that. It is never easy doing what your doing especially when you feel all alone. Trust me I speak from experience. And I know you yourself prob already know yourself as well. Take care Terry my friend and may peace and rest come soon.

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    • Your comment brought comfort as I also ponder on what is happening and what is following. I will use the soups and broths, liquid jellos. I am sorry that you have had to go through what I am now. No matter what the illness, passing is usually in the same ways. Hugs my friend and thank you very much

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  2. When my dad was dying, and he couldn’t eat much, he was still willing to eat Cream of Wheat… If that’s too grainy, you might try baby rice cereal that you can make as thin or thick as you like, and flavor it with fruit juices, so it isn’t so bland for him… Also, jello, and both Mom and Dad liked Italian Ice too… Indulge him. One of the last taste buds to die is your taste for sweet things, so see if he likes sweets. That might be helpful.

    Much love to you both,
    Cheryl

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    • I do notice quite often that Al loves sweet things. He never had them like he wants them now. i will get the rice cereal and the fruit juices. Thanks Cheryl for all of your help

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  3. Terry, I’m no expert on any of this, but I do know that at the end of both my mom’s and dad’s lives, their appetites changed. Very little appealed to them, but they did each have a desire for something specific. We were told to simply let them have whatever they seemed to want, and not be concerned with whether or not they finished it.

    I’m so sad for both of you that this has become such a marathon. Only God knows why or when. You know I’m praying for you.

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    • That is pretty much what I have been doing, but it seems he ask for about the same thing each time. Of course nutrition enters my mind but I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point

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  4. There is such a huge variety of baby food that doesn’t taste too bad. It does require some seasoning though. A little salt for the veggies and a little sugar for the fruit. You could also mix some of the fruit with the baby cereal.

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  5. Terry you have received many ideas all seem so beneficial I would add on more …perhaps fruit flavored yogurt ? I wouldn’t get the one with fruit pieces but the plain. Prayers my friend that is all I can truly offer. Much love and hugs.

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  6. Terry, you can just run anything you eat … in a mixer for him, just like with baby food.
    Nice piece of meat, gravy and potatoes – just make a mash of it. Pureed fruit of any kind, blue berries and pineapple is good for the immune system. Also let him drink so much as he want … so long as his bladder works as it should – otherwise too much drinking can cause problems with his kidneys.

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  7. how about trying cup-a-soups as well as normally ones, they tend to be even thinner than tinned soups and can be used as much for a drink as a meal, they might be perfect for days when he hasn’t taken as much food as you would like but is thirsty as he will think it is just a warm drink

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  8. If he’s very thirsty, it sounds more like Diabetes than anything (or even dehydration). I am dairy & grain intolerant, but do eat a little of each. Dairy is very mucus forming and gives me a dry throat & trouble swallowing.

    Food intolerance is just as big a problem as Food Allergy, except that it can take up to 12-24 hours to show symptoms. (Food Allergy cause immediate and more serious symptoms).

    For me, it’s about 1-2 am in the morning I wake with chest pain, tachycardia and very high spikes of high BP. All tests have ruled out it’s nothing to do with my hypertrophic myocardiopathy or BP.

    I guess he is at the stage that baby food is probably best. I’m normally fairly health conscious, but I seriously wouldn’t worry too much about that now that Al has deteriorated so much. Whatever he can get down with minimal symptoms would be the only way to go.

    Try not to give him too much acidic foods like meat, dairy & grains though. When the acid/akaline food gets out of balance, it causes a lot of pain in the joints.

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    • You have been very informative and I appreciate this. It seems the only thing he really has a taste for anymore is ice-cream and ice water. Hospice says end of life patients crave water as their body is shutting down. I had never heard that before

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      • I hadn’t heard of that either, Terry.
        Sorry to hear Al has deteriorated so much. I know it is difficult for you, but I guess one can only try to make Al comfortable at this time. The thought of ice-cream and high sugar foods sounds bad to me, but the reality is that at least he can swallow them.
        I suppose there are many low glycemic and low sugar jellies & desserts that are easy to swallow and better for Al than others. As I have Diabetes (diagnosed this year) but have good sugar control, I don’t need meds (yet), but I tend to eat mainly fresh foods anyway.

        How about some carrot cake or pumpkin cake, that is soft, has the sweetness Al craves, but has a little healthy vegetable in the mix. Egg and grated vegetable based frittatas might be worth a try (if you haven’t already tried them).

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      • We don’t worry anymore about sugars etc. Al doesn’t eat enough of anything. He is at the nearing of his life. He can’t eat anything that isn’t almost watery. I tried a muffin tonight mixed with milk but it didn’t work

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