This week, weave a story about yourself told through the lens of your past December 23rds.
When I think back to past Christmas years on the 23, I get mixed memories. Smiles, sadness can appear and then fade a way as I go year to year.
Christmas as a kid was always the same. Wonderful, magical, excitement! Those were the days.
Christmas as a married adult meant working over-time, need of more money, lots of presents under the tree for our children. Giggles and screams of delight as wanted gifts were opened.
A divorce and remarriage on the rebound means sadness to me. A husband who made life hard to exist. Him hiding when people came to our house. Embarrassment, replaced delight of seeing people. Wanting to get the day over with. No money, very few gifts. It was always a sad time for me and an angry time as well. I saved my little bit of money I earned each week and finally was freed from this relationship.
The loss of parents that you love leaves the biggest gap in your heart. Christmas joy is ripped a way. Tears and sorrow replace all other feelings. Robotic movements kick in as you try so hard to carry on in a normal way that Christmas is supposed to be. Always glad when it is over, but sad when my kids leave to go back to their homes.
Christmas this year I dreaded with all that I have. Excitement over my kids being here. Sadness over wondering if Al would make it to the holiday. Thankful he was here, sad he slept through it. Not as many gifts but gifts that were wanted and enjoyed. Plenty of food and good conversation took the sting out of what was happening in my brother’s bedroom.
I am glad Christmas is over. My tree is down and the house looks more back to normal. Al is still here having bad days, and some better days mixed in. I treasured each moment with my entire family, knowing in my heart that there will never be a Christmas like this again.
Christmas will come once again. The 23rd will arrive without delay. People will come and some will never be seen again, but hopefully the future will open new doors. New memories and I will once again smile, remembering the pasts and looking forward to the future.
So, So beautifully written. May you be blessed many times over! my favorite is “looking forward to the future”.
Thank you so very much my friend. I cherish your comment!
I like the part about smiling. I relate very much as both my parents are gone and I’m weathering a divorce after a long marriage. New memories are what life is all about. I also liked the song link you had – Tears From Heaven. It was beautiful. I lost a child and that song was very meaningful. I saw your link here on the review for Sandra Callahan’s book (which I also reviewed). Your writing is touching. 🙂
Thank you very much Judy. Please come back and chat when you have time! Hugs
Hey I added you today to my blogroll in the sidebar 2x- I lost my mom when I was 5-I am 47- I lost dad this year in August, but Smiling and living on and going forward is all we need to do. One day at a time, Your new fan, Jackie http://firstname.lastname@example.org/ is me Jackie Paulson
Hi Jackie!!! So nice to see you here! I am so sorry about your loss of your parents. I know the void with that. Our parents are now gone too. I still want to reach out to the phone and call Mom