Lessons In Every Situation, Roar Into 2014


2013 for me. I don’t remember a whole lot. Life seems quite a blur. Al was in the nursing home from January until June. I remember plowing through snow and cold to go see him. I never wanted him to think I didn’t care.

Groceries were not bought much. The bills remained the same most of the year. The TV shows got sillier. None of them really grabbed my attention except American Idol. Somehow looking forward to two nights a week to this show made the winter months go by faster.

June came and Al came home and then life was still not that bad. Life is never as bad as we think it is in the moment we are living it. When we move on down the road and are faced with different challenges, we sometimes look back and think, I wish I could go back to that time.

For a while I was still able to get Al in the car. We went to some antique shops. We went out to eat. I was even able to take him to one more big car show. We went places and Al was placed in an adult program where he could socialize with others. Life seemed pretty good.

Then it was like a blink in an eye life began to change for the worse. Al’s MSA (Multiple System Atrophy) seemed to really kick in. No longer was I able to get him in the car alone, and with no help we had to give up the outings. Life became a little more quiet for him and me.

In no time at all Hospice was involved. Al went from being able to shave himself to me shaving him. He no longer could brush his teeth, I did it for him. He went from finger foods to some help with eating to now; which I feed him all of his food and drinks.

He went from a being able to stand with assistance in his wheelchair to his legs no longer holding him up. Today, he is bed bound. He gets all of his baths in bed. Only a month ago he was still able with lots of help to get a shower.

Now he stares at the TV when his vision will focus. His eyes water, his fingers and hands are locked in a prayer position. His legs are curled in a fetal position, not bad, but getting there.

Instead of him and I decorating for Halloween and Christmas, I did it alone. Al was in the hospital during Thanksgiving and he slept through Christmas. Family came but Al remained in bed.

I have learned to lean on God more and more through this illness of Al’s. I have been angry at God, screamed at him, asked for forgiveness for not being as faithful as I could. I have learned to lean on others for help, such as Hospice, homemakers and ministers.

I have learned who my true friends are and who I can count on when in need. I have learned that I have a huge support system with many people on the internet. I have been shown how many care about Al by all the cards and gifts that have been sent.

I have been taught that to gain strength, all I have to do is pray about it. I have learned how to cook for one and puree for Al. My laundry has doubled, cleaning is still going strong. I am tired and now try to nap when I can. I have learned that the house will always be waiting here for me. The dirt is going anywhere.

I am glad that this year is ending tonight. I would not really want to relive it again. I am hopeful that things will be brighter in 2014. I pray that the Obama Healthcare works itself out.

I hope more lean on their own strength and realize they have more to offer this world than they think. I hope Al finds peace and is reunited with our parents. I pray that I will be able to move on and remember Al with smiles. I hope jobs pick-up and crime is less. Schools offer the basics and we have less drop-outs than ever.

My family will expand by two this new year. I wish for my own family good health and common sense, so that they can survive yet another year. Life isn’t easy, it won’t be from this day on. But with careful consideration and a loving Mom standing behind them, they too will find what they seek.

I hope that each of you stay safe tonight. If you are going to drink, please don’t drive. Beware of your surroundings. Don’t be too proud to take a taxi home if you need to. Tell you children you love them. Hug your parents. Stay positive. We are in this together no matter how many miles separate us. It is up to you and me my friends, to make or break this world.

So to each one of you, Happy New Year, 2014.

P.S. Don’t forget to change your calendars and write 2014 on your checks tomorrow.

 

 

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41 thoughts on “Lessons In Every Situation, Roar Into 2014

  1. Happy New Year wishes to you and Al both. I hope 2014 brings you both comfort and resolution. I have learned about strength, grace and devotion through you. I hope all these also help you when you need it.

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    • This is a nice comment that makes me feel good. I didn’t know that I was helping you or any others for that fact. Sometimes my blog is so sad as of late, and I feel bad about it but it is my life right now. Thank you so much for making me feel better

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  2. I am believing for bountiful blessings for you and your family in the days to come, Terry. I cannot imagine how you have carried these burdens on your small shoulders, but you have done it with grace and dignity. You have shown true strength amdist incredibly trying circumstances. While you are relying on others to hold you up, you are also inspiring them to stay strong in their own battles. I pray that Al will find peace soon and will be released from the physical body which has become so broken. I pray that you will find joy amidst your grief and that the sun will shine bright for you again. I pray you continue writing and inspiring people with your beautiful heart.
    Many blessings on you and yours, Terry. Much love to you!

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    • Oh Stephanie, tears came to my eyes as I read your comment. It is full of hope and prayer and with friends like you and God on my side, I will continue on. Maybe after Al is gone another soul will need my help. God bless and thank you so very much

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  3. Thank you Terry. My husband was diagnosed with MSA about a year and a half ago at the age of 51. I’ve been following your blog for many months and I appreciate your honesty.

    I took care of my mom who had Alzheimer’s disease, and then my dad, who had Parkinson’s, and now I will do it again for my husband. I know what the future holds, and have made peace with the fact that God placed me here to take care of others. It’s the most difficult job in the world, and I believe there’s a special place in Heaven for caregivers! I think we all take comfort in knowing that we are not alone, so thank you for sharing your journey with Al. I hope you both find comfort in the coming year.

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    • Hi Kathy, I sure wish your husband didn’t have MSA. Our father had Leukemia and I took care of him while he was ill. Our Mom had a sudden aneruism? Spelling correct? I have been a caregiver for 23 years with the last seven being family. After Al is gone I will be the last of that family. Hugs to you. I am always here, a good listener if you need to talk. I know for myself without all of you I would not have come this far

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  4. From 2013 to 2014 – I hold you & Al in my heart & in my prayers. Peace, love & blessings to you both & to both of your loved ones.
    {Hugs} <–For you
    {Hugs} <–For Al

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  5. Wishing you and Al the very best for 2014. You are a remarkable lady and I have learnt from you and your strength. You are giving so much to Al and us , and all I can do is send words, prayers and thoughts to you , when you really need a big hug and a shoulder. You are right with stay positive and tell your loved ones that you love them. I will be here while you are on your journey and I am on mine, you and Al are always with me in my mind! Sending you mega hugs and much love Terry! ♥

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