Save Me a Spot

Al woke up just as the shower girls came in this morning. For a few hours he was very chatty and seemed very content. He ate puree french toast sticks, 2), and some juice. After the shower was over, the caregiver and I, mainly her, dug into his room, bagging up so many supplies that we knew he would never use again.
Then he went to sleep around 11am and never woke up again unless we woke him up. He did eat lunch but complained of heartburn most of the evening. Except when he was wanting to tell me about his heartburn he slept.
I woke him up for supper. He ate about five bites of macaroni and cheese. I had made him a diet coke, chocolate syrup, and ice-cream slushy. He made the most wicked face when I gave that to him. I think it was very cold.
His neck is so sore, that when I try to move his head he flinched in pain. It is a shame that they have so many cancer treatments but no treatment for this deep of pain. But of course there are medications that do the opposite of what they are supposed to do when he takes them, so we are limited.
The story I told you last night about the Texas Catheter was continued this morning. The movable parts had to be taken off and a thorough cleaning to all. Stacy, the caregiver was showing the utmost patience when after a half hour went by, she finally got a new one on.
I called the Hospice team and questioned them on why we were being forced to deal with this whole catheter thing. I enforced that we are not nurses. I pleaded that they do this on their visits each week and they agreed. So no more funny stories about the pop-off, run-a-way condoms! LOL I guess maybe I could be speaking too quickly, as that little sucker could come off while I am the only here one here late afternoon on, so I better quit talking about it while I am ahead.
I watched American Idol between checking on Al and doing dishes and tidying up the house. It came snack-time for Al and once again I had to wake him up. Of course he wanted ice-cream with chocolate syrup. I think I need to buy stock in the dairy business, because it is very hard keeping it here in the house!
So all in all the day was busy and yet quiet. I would say that Al slept 12 out of 14 hours, and unless something happens tonight, the midnight hours should be quiet too, knock on wood.
I sort of think that God is getting Al all rested up for his journey. His tremors are once again quiet and his body lays pretty still. He told me that the first thing he is going to do when he gets to heaven is fly over to his Grandma’s in Florida and visit with her. The last thing he requested before lights out, was to pray God comes and gets him tonight. I prayed over him and I told him it was alright if he went, as long as he saved me a spot next to him. His big, blue eyes looked into mine. They became wide but he said nothing. I said, “Blink if you are going to save me a spot.” and he blinked.

41 thoughts on “Save Me a Spot

  1. It is good that he sleeps a lot and also give you a bit of rest. Every day is different so you alos need to rest while it is possible. Al is so ready to go and yet he is waiting. Still praying for you both!


  2. What a difficult, painful time for you Terry, but at the same time, you are so blessed. Some of us don’t have the assurance about where our loved ones are going that you do. As I watched my father, mother and stepfather die, I never knew for sure if either of them had truly made peace with God and repented of their sins, though I prayed for them and shared the gospel with each of them. For me, to watch then suffer, and still refuse to accept Christ as their Savior was unbearably difficult, and I confess, it still breaks my heart. I can only hope now that they made their peace with the Lord at some point when they were no longer able to communicate it with the rest of the world.

    You, on the other hand, have a brother who has openly repented of his sins, and has seen Jesus. Though his way has been painful, you have the assurance that you will one day see him again, as long as you too are a child of God. What a huge blessing for you in the midst of all this pain and suffering, Terry. I praise God that He has given you the assurance that I longed for, and I pray you treasure it, in the days ahead, because that assurance will grant you much peace when Al passes and you need it most.

    Now, may the Lord bless you and keep you.May He make His face to shine upon you and give you peace, in Jesus’ name. May the Lord be gracious and lift the light of His countenance and give you peace.

    Love always,


  3. I am on a friends laptop and my new computer has not arrived yet, and the old one is still crashed.
    I want you to know I am thinking of you and that you are in my prayers, you and Al both.
    Prayers and hugs.


  4. Terry, may you and Al not only know in your heart and minds, but experience the magnitude of God’s love for you. May He keep you in perfect peace as you continue to put your trust and fix your thoughts on Him, in Jesus name,amen. With my love and prayers, Sheri.


  5. Terry that was absolutely beautiful. It struck a chord with me remembering Daddy’s last days. A peace seemed to emanate from him to all of us in the room. When he finally did pass it was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had in my life. Terry know this…I know you are a fine Christian…when the time comes and Al crosses over you will be in the presence of the Lord. You will actually feel Him in the room with you. You will be as close to heaven as you will EVER be until it is time for your crossing. This has happened to me twice in the past year and both times I felt His presence overwhelm me. Be happy and rejoice for Al when this happens because he will be in the room with you also. Cheer him on because he will be happier than he has ever been here with us. God bless you both.


    • Hello my friend. To feel that close to God here in the room when he takes Al is the most awesome thought. I am glad that you have experienced this. The peace that fills the room is what I am feeling with Al. He seems to care about nothing. No worries, nothing, just sleeping each moment a way. It was wonderful to talk to you. I miss our chats


  6. What a touching ending to this post.
    I watched the 1st hour of AI. Some potentially good singers/entertainers. But – nobody wowed me. I can’t believe the 1st person went through. ???
    {Hugs} to you & Al


  7. Terry, God reminded me of some verse this morning and immediately I thought of you and Al. Matthew 28:18, Ephesians 1:21-23. God is everywhere all the time. He knows everything. This means we can never be without him. I believe God gave me this word for you that Al has really been visually seeing him because God has made himself known to him. I am convinced that often when we wonder where God is, he is closer than ever. And…the key is in the relationship we seek to have with him.


    • Yes, you are right. God is everywhere. It is up to us whether we acknowledge or not. I tell this to Al each night before I shut the lights off. That he is never alone, God and the angels are standing beside him. Thank you. I wasn’t sure which verse that was found. Hugs


  8. Terry, something is keeping Al from leaving … and that is you! He doesn’t’ want to leave you behind, even if you have told him that it’s okay … I think he wants you to come along – love the last section of this post – even if I’m not … a believer, it’s so beautiful written .. and I know exactly what you mean. This is true love … into end.


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