23 | January | 2014

There are some people that we meet in our lives that leave the biggest impressions on us. We all have one or maybe two that we will remember with lots of love until our last breath. This is no different for my brother or me.

Our Grandma. She is not our biological Grandma but she was the best Grandma us kids could ever have hoped for. We loved her dearly and Al and I have so many wonderful memories of her.

But because life can be cruel, things sometimes become tainted. Lives drift from pain and hurtful words, and this is what happened to Al and me. It isn’t important what happened because I have tried to fix it but can’t.

But for Al he has never forgotten her. Even today with days left on this earth he has asked for his loving Grandma. I have reached out with snail mail and emails but with no replies received.

Today, the Hospice nurse gave me another option I could turn to. Another way to make Al’s last wish come true. Tonight after supper I decided I would try the idea. No, it was not a choice, I had to. This is Al’s last days, his last wish, so I dialed the number.

Our Grandma is 98 years old and lives in a nursing home in Florida. I dialed, and it rang and rang. I almost hung up thinking they were busy, but I knew this was something I was granting for Al so I remained on the phone.

A lady said hello. I asked for our Grandma’s nurse and was transferred. When the nurse got on the phone I explained who I was. I told her about Al and how he had very little time left. I told her my brother is no longer able to communicate but he so wished to hear Grandma’s voice one more time.

She was so kind and she took the phone down to Grandma’s room and explained the situation. I had the speaker phone on so I could intervene when need be. I heard Grandma’s voice and instantly I started crying.

Al gasped for air and then took several quick breaths and then gasped for air again. He was listening to her words. Al, this is Grandma. Al, can you hear me? Al, this is Grandma. I have always loved you. I love and miss you so much.

I saw tears falling from Al’s eyes. My own tears were dropping all over Al’s arms. I cradled Al’s head in my arms as I hugged him and listened to her voice for the next few minutes. The nurse took the phone then from her and told me Grandmas was crying.

I felt so darn bad. I had caused her to cry, and yet I knew I had to fulfill Al’s last wish. I told the nurse to tell Grandma that we both loved her and I heard her repeat the words to our beloved Grandma.

The nurse hung up and I ended the call. Silence filled the room with only the motor of the air-bed running. I rocked my brother the best way I could and I could feel a sense of release from him. He looked up into my eyes and I saw tears through my own blinded tears.

I hope that I have done all for my brother that I could possibly do. I hope he feels now he can go. Al can no longer talk the past two days; but I know his heart is swollen with love for the voice he heard.

My girlfriend left this morning after I cried too many tears. She did so much in helping to get my mind off of what is happening.

It is bitter cold still. It seems as if this winter is never going to ease with the cold. I looked at the Farmer’s Almanac and this crap continues on through February. What a bummer.

The nurse came this morning. She took off the Texas Catheter and placed a permanent internal catheter in. He did well with it after being medicated for relaxing purposes. His hands were so swollen and he just wasn’t able to release all of the fluids so this is supposed to help.

I am so tired but even more so since my friend left. She never knew what a rock she was and how much I leaned on her. I am so glad that most of us have that rock in our lives.

When the nurse finished with Al she sat and talked with me for a while. She said that she thought Al probably had days, possibly a couple of weeks but nothing in months. Last night Rhino, the cat was getting in my friend’s knitting basket. He was fascinated by the yarn.