I feel sometimes, such as today, that I have let so many of you down. I read a lot of comments on how strong I am, and now I am leaning on medications to pick me back up. I realize now that it has been a long, tough road. I realize I am not Superwoman.
I am so thankful my friend is here, but am already wondering if she is getting tired of being here, or worse yet, bored. Going away to others place to visit is nice, but it isn’t home.
I guess I am just having one of those days. I didn’t sleep well last night. I counted on the caregiver being here today, but with the snow we received, I wasn’t surprised to hear from her she wasn’t coming.
The nurse didn’t come either and with the snow being so heavy this winter, I think I am just about like everyone else here in the Midwest. I am screaming inside, go away snow! We have had enough. Bring some warmth above 10 degrees and let us have a sample of Spring.
Al is basically the same except last night for the first time in days, he whispered to me. I was able to figure out what he wanted. It was a miracle? I don’t know how long it will last but it is nice while it last.
The big goose egg bump on his head is no longer there. During the sleeping hours it opened up on its own. He has no new blisters which is a good thing. He is staying awake much more than he was.
It is like we are having a couple of days that are like earlier times in his illness. Reminds me of when I was about to deliver for my kids. Those few days before arrival of the baby, I had so much energy I did what ever I could cram into one day.
So like everyone around me, I am fidgety and restless. My car has set for so long that I now fear the tires will go low. It is a terrible car for driving on snow. So I am hoping and crossing my eyes and fingers on seeing a warmer day very soon.
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